Under normal circumstances, a guy should be able to hold eye contact when communicating with you. In addition to making him appear confident, this ensures that a deep connection exists between both of you. However, avoiding eye contact is a red flag you must look out for in your relationship.
To determine what may be the challenge and how to fix it, you must know why he is avoiding eye contact all of a sudden. You must also know what to do when a man avoids eye contact with a woman.
Could it be because he is hiding something from you?
Lack of eye contact can be an indication of many things. For one, when a person constantly avoids looking you in the eye, it could suggest that they don’t want to engage with you (or whatever is in front of them) or that they would rather be somewhere else.
When a man can’t look a woman in the eye, it could mean many things, including a sense of guilt, an expression of frustration, an expression of his love and admiration for her, or it could just be that he is just bored to death and would do anything to get away from her.
When a guy avoids eye contact, he does everything to look in every other direction except into the girl’s eyes. This could be in a conversation, when hanging out, or just when they interact for the tiniest moments.
Although there are many reasons for avoiding eye contact, one thing remains sure. Don’t celebrate or bemoan his inability to look you straight in the eye just yet. Not until you have determined exactly what is going on in his mind!
What to consider when a man avoids eye contact with a woman?
It is unwise to draw instant conclusions when a man can’t look a woman in the eye. This is because you may be quick to judge him as hiding something, or too fast to decide that he can’t do so because he loves her and is flustered just by being in her presence.
The challenge is that these aren’t always the case.
When a man constantly avoids eye contact, the first thing to do is ask yourself this question, “why does he avoid eye contact?” A critical look at the situation at hand can reveal what’s going on in his mind regarding you.
Regardless, here are a couple of things to consider when a man avoids eye contact with a woman or man.
1. His normal behavior
It may not make a lot of sense to draw summaries about what is going on with him if you don’t start by comparing this against his normal behavior. Is it just you, or does he avoid eye contact with other people?
If you study his normal behavior and see that he makes eye contact with other people, then you may want to pay closer attention to other situations so that you can know exactly what’s going through his mind.
If, on the other hand, you discover that he hardly makes eye contact with people, you may go to bed in peace because it is not about you.
2. Consider the conversation going on
Some guys get shy and flustered when some subjects are raised, especially subjects that have to do with love, romance, and relationships. While trying to figure out why a guy avoids eye contact, it is best that you start by considering the conversation going on.
Was he making eye contact and suddenly stopped when a specific conversation came up? If yes, it could be that the conversation served as the trigger that caused him to shift his focus from you.
3. Who are the people around?
If he avoids eye contact while talking or listening to you, also make a mental note of the people around you.
Some guys either feel emboldened when others are around (and would look you straight in the eye during a conversation). Some others, on the other hand, may feel shy and spooked because of the people around.
When this happens, you may notice that they’d start finding it difficult to hold eye contact for a long time.
4. Which other non-verbal cues accompany his lack of eye contact?
Other non-verbal cues that accompany his lack of eye contact will help you know exactly what’s going on in his mind. Is he blushing at the same time? Does he have a small, soft smile on his face as he tries to evade eye contact?
If these body language clusters show up together, it could be a sign that he likes you or that you may have made him feel flustered.
Can avoiding eye contact mean attraction?
Research has shown that there is a direct relationship between eye contact and attraction. That said, different people approach the use of eye contact in different ways. Some would rather avoid eye contact when they feel attracted to someone. The others intensify their eye contact when they feel attracted to someone.
Attraction could be one of the reasons someone avoids eye contact. When a person feels strongly for another, they may be overwhelmed with their emotions and decide that their best course of action is to avoid looking the other person in the eye.
If this is the case with your man, you may want to consider his lack of eye contact together with other non-verbal cues like his overall facial expressions and even his tone of voice.
10 reasons why he is avoiding eye contact
These are 10 of the strongest reasons why he is avoiding eye contact with you.
1.He’s angry at something
When a guy is angry at something, he may end up avoiding eye contact with you. This may be his way of trying to protect himself and prevent you from seeing the anger flashing in his eyes. It could also be because he may not want you to see him in a vulnerable position.
Also, avoiding eye contact with you when he is angry could also be because he is trying to protect you from feeling the same thing he feels at the moment. There are many reasons why he may be avoiding eye contact.
Just remember that one of them could be because he is angry at something and is preoccupied with his thoughts.
2.He’s angry with you
Anger is the second reason why he may be avoiding eye contact with you. When a guy is angry with you, he may show his ill emotions by keeping away from establishing eye contact.
To be sure about this, think about the things that have happened between you in the recent past. Did you get into an argument before now? Did you say something to someone about him? These could be the triggers for his anger.
In addition to suspecting that he’s mad at you, keep your eyes open for other subtle signs like the direction his feet are facing (if they are pointing away from you, it is a sign that he cannot wait to get away from you).
Also, if he gets visibly annoyed when you try to touch him, it is a sign that he’s really pissed at you.
3. He likes you
Avoiding eye contact is a sign of attraction, as we have already discussed early on. When a guy avoids establishing eye contact, it could be because he likes you or has a crush on you.
He may think that by avoiding eye contact, he can mask his feelings and make sure that you don’t suspect that he feels attracted to you. Usually, a shy guy will go this route when he has feelings for you because he may not be able to walk up to you and ask you out immediately.
As usual, before drawing your conclusions, carefully consider every other subtle cue he gives at the same time. Does he do his best to sit next to you when you hang out with friends? Has he asked a few people to put in a good word? All these are signs that he likes you.
Suggested Video: 15 signs you are more attractive than you think:
4. He feels intimidated by you
Another reason why he is avoiding eye contact could be because he finds you intimidating.
When a guy thinks of you as too beautiful, too successful, or just out of his league, he may have strong feelings for you but will never come clean because he believes that you wouldn’t ever be interested in him.
Instead of risking it, he can choose to stay far from you and just observe from the sidelines. Under these conditions, you may catch him stealing glances at you, but he would be quick to avert his gaze every time he knows that you are looking at him.
Shy people tend to avoid eye contact when engaging or conversing with others. If he is avoiding eye contact with you because he is shy, the first thing you’d notice is that he does the same thing in interactions with other people.
In addition to avoiding eye contact, you can confirm if he is just the shy type by evaluating his overall non-verbal cues. Does he shrink into himself when people approach him? Does he slouch when sitting? Does he make it a point of duty to keep a distance from people?
All these are signs that you may be dealing with someone who is just naturally shy.
6. He doesn’t want to interact with you
If he can’t look you in the eye anymore, it could be a sign that he would rather be doing something else than engaging with you at the moment.
To be sure, evaluate other body signs like the direction his feet are pointed in, how tense his posture is, and whether or not he is wearing a genuine smile.
If his overall posture suggests that he would rather be speaking to someone else than you, you may want to consider ending the conversation immediately.
7. He is hiding something
It is an age-long knowledge that someone who is hiding something or telling you a lie will tend to avoid eye contact when conversing with you. In addition to avoiding the contact, he’ll be fidgety and his eyes may even carry a demented look.
If he is suddenly sweaty on the palms and under his armpits, you may want to double-check.
Regardless of how ridiculous this may sound, some people have issues with making and holding eye contact with others.
This could be because of underlying health conditions (like the case of autistic people who avoid eye contact because it causes anxiety), or it could be traceable to environmental factors like the conditions under which he grew up.
When you are with a guy who is this way, he would need to get used to you and become comfortable around you, before he can open himself up to you and allow something as intimate as a deep eye gaze.
9. It may be his way of telling you that he is already taken
One of the reasons why he is avoiding eye contact could be because he already has a partner. Some guys believe that deep eye gazing is sacred and is one aspect of intimacy they should reserve for their partners only.
As usual, you want to consider other interdependent factors like if the said partner is somewhere close by. Then again, a quick look at his ring finger should reveal if he is married (at least).
10. He probably doesn’t know
Another reason why he is avoiding eye contact could be because he doesn’t even know that you would want to establish eye contact with him. If he comes from a place where holding eye contact is considered disrespectful, it could be a knee-jerk reaction for him to avoid eye contact.
Under these circumstances, you may find out that he doesn’t just do it to you alone. The easiest way to get over this awkward stage would be to let him know that you are looking at him. Then give him the time and space he needs to adjust.
There are so many reasons why he is avoiding eye contact with you. It could be because he is shy, doesn’t know that you want to make eye contact, or because he is hiding something from you.
In any case, you have a role to play in making sure that he is comfortable enough around you. Then again, if he is hiding something, all you may do would be to step back and allow him to figure himself out. It is up to him to decide when and how to come clean.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.