21 Questions For A New Relationship: Best Way to Know Each Other

Starting a new relationship always comes with issues. There is usually the overwhelming thrill of being with someone new after going through a past breakup. 

Most times, people get so carried away with this new phase of their lives that they don’t see the need to ask questions for a new relationship. However, there are a few things that need to be put in proper perspective for couples in a relationship. 

It does not matter how long you’ve been dating; relationships are like life schools where you continuously learn about your partner. But asking them good questions for a new relationship can ensure that you start this process early and in a direct manner.

According to Dionne Eleanor Reid, an experienced transformational coach:

A relationship is like a garden. Asking thoughtful questions is like watering it to help it grow.

Read this article for some good relationship questions that can help you understand your partner and their expectations better. 

What is the need to ask questions in a new relationship?

Many couples think that they know all they need to about their partners after being in a relationship. But this can’t be any farther from the truth. 

There is only so much you can know about a person without asking specific great relationship questions. That is why it is imperative to be in the loop of events constantly so you don’t end up ruining a potentially good relationship.

A lot of people, when asked what they feel should be the catalyst for the perfect relationship, the answers might be similar. You are bound to hear things like good PDAs (public displays of affection), buying your partners lots of gifts, and going on dates or vacations.

While all those mentioned above are necessary ingredients needed to spice up a relationship, many more couples need to learn to maintain the spark in their relationship. 

It is only fair to explore the things to ask in a new relationship head-on to help couples who have just entered a relationship. This is why you need to explore questions for a new relationship. 

21 questions to ask in a new relationship

We will be listing questions to ask in a new relationship as these can help you understand whether you have a future with a person or give you a better understanding of who they are.

Make sure that you are not asking these questions one after the other, as your partner may start feeling that they are being interrogated, and the pressure might ruin things. Instead, try to nonchalantly slip these questions for a new relationship into casual conversations with your partner. 

 Follow up now as we reveal to you some good questions to ask in a new relationship.

1. What was your childhood like?

If you have questions for a new relationship, you can ask your partner about their childhood. This can include information about how they grew up and under what circumstances. 

Research has shown that a person’s childhood shapes various aspects of their personality and expectations. By having some knowledge about their childhood, you can gain an understanding of their personality and needs. 

2. Are you from a large or small family?

Studies show that the configuration of the family you grew up in can shape the way that you act and expect life to be. So, ask your partner about the size of their family as one of the things to ask in a new relationship. 

By asking your new partner about their family structure, you may get an idea about their family dynamics and how they fit into them. After that, you can assess whether this is compatible with your expectations. 

3. Did you have a strict or lax upbringing?

One of the questions for a new relationship is about the manner in which one was raised, as this can shape a person’s personality in a significant way. So, asking this can give you an idea about their personality and the reasons behind it. 

4. What was your religious background like while growing up?

Religion can play a big role in a person’s life, and this can shape the way they feel about different aspects of their life. So, one of the questions for a new relationship can explore their religious inclinations, in the past and at present.

Dionne Eleanor Reid highlights that:

The foundation of a relationship is built on shared values and understanding, which begins with asking the tough questions early on.

5. Are you and your family members close?

A family is often the people that are the closest to a person and shape their idea of relationships and family. Asking questions about how close they are to their family can also let you know how involved they might be in their life. 

6. Who are the people that are part of your support system?

A person’s life is often shaped by the people in their life as they can be a source of immense support and stability in their lives. So, one of the questions for a new relationship can be about their support system. 

If your partner expresses a lack of support in their life, then you can proceed with the relationship with more awareness about his needs from a relationship. 

7. How often do you love to go out?

Being in a relationship with someone means sharing your life with them. This makes understanding their preferences extremely important. 

So, one of the questions for a new relationship can be about whether your partner likes to go out often or do they prefer staying in. This can shape your understanding of how they like to spend their time and your plans with them in the future. 

8. How many friends do you have?

Are you wondering what to ask in a new relationship? Try asking them questions about their friends and the equation that they share with each of them. 

The number and type of friends that a person has can give you an understanding of their personality and their ability to maintain relationships. 

9. What first attracted you to me?

One of the questions to get to know your partner better can be about what it is that they found charming about it at the beginning. It can inform you about what they are drawn towards and what it is that they appreciate in other people. 

10. Have you had a pet before?

One of the meaningful relationships to get to know your questions can be your partner’s pets. You can ask them whether they have a pet currently or had one in the past. 

How they talk about this topic can give you a better understanding of their emotional side, as talking about their pets usually lowers a person’s defenses. 

11. What are the hobbies that mean a lot to you?

Want to know your partner better? Try asking them more about their hobbies. 

By getting to know about your partner’s hobbies, you can gain a better understanding of their likes and dislikes. You can then find areas in which you can relate to them and certain things that you may like to experience with them. 

12. What is one fear that keeps you up at night?

Studies show that vulnerability can bring couples closer together as they can understand each other better and establish trust. So, by asking about your partner’s fears, you can build a stronger relationship with a partner that can rely on you. 

13. What have been the highest and lowest points of your life?

To understand your partner better, you can ask them about the pivotal moments in their life, as these can tell you what truly matters to them. It can also inform you about the moments that may have shaped their personality and behavior. 

14. Have you ever fallen in love?

While asking specific questions about your partner’s past might bring up their defenses, you can ask them questions about their past relationship in subtle ways. Asking them about their experience with love in the past is one just way. 

15. Do you have a favorite love song?

Do you want to know about your partner’s idea of love? Why not ask them about the love song that has truly touched their heart? 

The words of your partner’s favorite love song can give you a glimpse into what kind of love they truly admire and want in their life. So, don’t hesitate to ask a question about this. 

16. What gives you purpose in life?

Some people are motivated by success, some are drawn to people, while there are others who are moved by other things. So, ask your partner about what gives their life purpose to understand their true nature and what truly holds value in their life. 

17. Are you still in touch with any of your exes?

Past relationships can have a huge impact on one’s relationships, especially if the ex is still a part of your partner’s life. So, subtly ask your partner whether any of their exes are still a part of their lives and how that impacts their life. 

18. What do you like to do during the weekends?

Usually, everyone has a set schedule for their weekdays, but weekends are when you have the chance to do what you truly want to do. Asking about your partner’s weekends can give you a chance to know how they unwind and re-energize themselves. 

19. If you just won the lottery, what would you like to spend it on?

Although questions related to possibly winning the lottery are common, they can be used in new relationships to understand what truly matters to your partner. What they would like to spend their money on can reveal what matters to them and their relationship with money. 

20. Is there something that you do to maintain your mental health?

Mental health is an important aspect of one’s life, and the ways in which one chooses to preserve it can reveal a lot about them. It can showcase what things or people give them energy and can also reveal whether they prioritize their mental health or not. 

Watch this video to learn how to manage your mental health better:

21. Where would you like to see yourself in the next 5 years?

If you are looking at possibly having a long-term relationship with your partner, ask your partner about the vision that they have for their future. The answer to this can help you understand their priorities and whether they are compatible with yours. 

What questions build intimacy?

Questions that compel a person to reveal things about themselves that they would not normally reveal to others. Inquiries about a person’s childhood, past relationships, or painful experiences are certain topics that have a high probability of building emotional intimacy with your partner. 

Final thoughts

So there you have it! These are some 100+ questions to ask in a new relationship. 

As you can tell, each category is arranged in a hierarchy from the beginning of a new relationship, when you get fully committed to when you have gotten very comfortable with each other. It always helps to build momentum without skipping any of these phases in a relationship.

Remember also not to ask specific questions at the beginning of a new relationship. For instance, asking sensitive sexual questions such as, “What turns you on?” 

You might run the risk of sounding like a pervert. Also, refrain from asking deep career questions such as “How much do you make” at the early stages. This way, you don’t sound desperate or look like you are trying to see where you fit in your new partner’s life.

Dionne Eleanor Reid adds that:

Asking the right questions reveals the layers of a person, leading you to a deeper connection.

Other than that, explore these questions to ask in a new relationship and start incorporating them into your relationship life, and you are good to go!