For many people, January is somewhat of a letdown. The holidays are over, it’s cold outside, and we’re usually left with a few extra pounds from overdoing it in December. 

But for many others, the New Year means a new beginning, a fresh start, and as Oprah Winfrey cheers- “A new year and another chance for us to get it right!” New year, new goal!

You have a golden opportunity in this brand new year to bring a spirit of positive change into your life and marriage. Even in these barren days of winter, a new perspective can begin to blossom.

Changing perspectives

Talking about the new year, new goal theory, isn’t life all about perspective? Life is 99.9% perspective. How we choose to see the world is how we will experience it. 

This study describes perspective as a mental view of something.  How we see things around us depends on our own experience, schematic knowledge, culture, society, and background.

So, it’s not a matter of overhauling your whole relationship. That can feel like a daunting challenge. Maybe it’s just a matter of tweaking your perspective – just a little. Noticing, perhaps for the first time in a long while, the good that was there all along.

It’s like Dorothy’s ruby slippers in The Wizard of Oz. We loved that amazing scene when the Good Witch revealed to Dorothy the value of those slippers. She had been wearing them all along without realizing the power they possessed. 

At that moment, Dorothy discovers she wasn’t asking the right question. The question was not, “How do I get what I want?” The real question was, “How do I recognize what I need to do to polish an old gemstone and discover how beautiful and precious it really is? 

That gemstone, of course, is your spouse! Creating this shift in your awareness is easier than you might think.  

Here are a few steps you can take right now to practice the concept of new year, new goal.

1. Be kind

This quote says it all. So simple, yet so powerful! “Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and the most underrated agent of human change” ~ Bob Kerry

Helping others is good for your mental health too. If you hope for new year to be kind to you, start being that yourself!

2. Begin to focus on what you love about your spouse

Make a new year, new goal list to remind yourself. A great way to do this is to keep a gratitude journal about your relationship. When tension mounts, you can refer to this journal to help you tweak that all-important perspective. 

This can go a long way in helping you look past a multitude of annoying habits and can help you rediscover what makes your partner so special. Read it often, and don’t forget to share these precious insights with the special person who inspires this affection.

3. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes

Practice seeing things from your spouse’s “perspective ” instead of your own. This is important for new year, new goal. You’d be surprised how much you can learn when you adopt an attitude of curiosity rather than judgment.

4. Celebrate achievements, big and small

Recognizing and celebrating each other’s achievements, whether big or small, creates a positive atmosphere in your relationship. 

It’s about acknowledging the efforts and successes and promoting a sense of support and encouragement. 

To truly adopt the ‘new year, new goal’ idea, celebrate milestones together, and it will reinforce the idea that you’re each other’s biggest fans on this journey of life.

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5. Set meaningful goals

Keep your hope for the new year simple and positive by resolving to do things that matter. Let it be your and your partner’s shared hope in the new year.

Setting meaningful goals as a couple provides a sense of direction and purpose. It’s not just about accomplishing tasks but creating a shared vision for the future. These goals can range from personal development to relationship milestones, giving you both something to work towards together.

6. Embrace the journey

To understand ‘new year, new goal’, remember that life is a journey filled with ups and downs. Your new year hope should be inclusive of whatever comes your way.

Embracing the journey in your relationship means understanding that challenges are a natural part of growth. It’s about navigating through difficulties hand in hand, learning and evolving together. 

The journey is as important as the destination, and the experiences along the way strengthen your bond.

7. Practice patience

Patience is a key ingredient in any lasting relationship. It means giving each other the time and space to grow as individuals. Life is full of changes, and practicing patience allows you to weather challenges without unnecessary stress. It’s a reminder that relationships, like individuals, evolve over time.

The notion of new year, new goal requires you to be willing to give time to every positive change that you want to see.

8. Laugh together

Laughter is a powerful connector. Finding moments of joy together, whether through shared jokes, funny stories, or light-hearted activities, strengthens the emotional bond. It reminds you both of the happiness within your relationship and contributes to a positive and enjoyable shared experience.

9. Surprise each other

It cannot be ‘new year, new goal’, if that doesn’t mean a renewed sense of appreciation between you and your partner.

Injecting surprise into your relationship keeps things exciting. It’s about going the extra mile to show your love and appreciation unexpectedly. Small surprises, like a heartfelt note or a spontaneous gesture, demonstrate thoughtfulness and keep the spark alive in your relationship.

10. Express gratitude

Expressing gratitude is a simple yet powerful way to nurture your relationship. Regularly acknowledging and appreciating each other’s efforts creates a positive atmosphere. It builds a sense of validation and reinforces the idea that you value and are thankful for the presence of your partner in your life.

Science says being grateful year-round can greatly improve your life. Watch this informative video by CBS Mornings:

FAQs 

Embarking on the New Year with positive intentions and achievable goals can strengthen your personal growth and relationships. 

Let’s explore some relatable answers to common questions about setting resolutions, starting new hobbies, reflecting on marriage, staying motivated, and welcoming fresh start and new perspectives.

• What are some ways to set New Year’s resolutions with my partner that I can actually stick to?

Start by discussing shared aspirations and breaking them into manageable steps. Choose realistic goals that align with both your individual and collective desires. Establishing a supportive environment enhances the likelihood of sticking to resolutions throughout the year.

• How can I get started on a new hobby or interest in the New Year?

Begin by exploring activities you both find intriguing. Whether it’s cooking, hiking, or painting, finding a shared hobby fosters connection and adds excitement to your relationship. Take small steps, invest time together, and enjoy the learning process.

• What are some ways to reflect on the past year of my marriage and make positive changes for the New Year?

Reflecting on the past year involves open communication. Discuss highs and lows, expressing gratitude and areas for improvement. Set achievable goals for the upcoming year, focusing on positive changes that enhance your connection and mutual understanding.

• How can I stay motivated to make changes in my life and relationships throughout the year?

Break larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks, creating a roadmap for continuous progress. Regularly revisit and celebrate achievements, sustaining motivation. Keep communication open, share aspirations, and adapt goals as needed, fostering a supportive environment for ongoing personal and relational growth.

New year, new perspective!

As we already discussed above, one of the ways to begin shifting your perspective is to practice an attitude of gratitude throughout your day. This very important attitude shift can radically change your perception, thus changing your world.

It works kind of like a prism, changing ordinary light into a rainbow of colors. The light doesn’t actually change, but our perception of it changes depending on how we look through the prism.

Cultivating a climate of gratitude and appreciation in your marriage is not nearly as difficult or unnatural as it may sound. 

An appreciation does not have to be a prepared speech. It may be just a word of thanks for doing some routine task or favor, such as, “I really liked it when you helped me with the dishes tonight.” Or, “Dinner was delicious!” 

It may be noticing something your partner is wearing or something you like about his or her appearance – ”Nice shirt!” Or, ”Wow, you look great in that sweater.”

When couples practice this way of connecting regularly, they cultivate the habit of noticing and sharing all the things they love about each other. Can you imagine how this could impact your relationship?

Some couples who really want to take this to the next level carve out some special time each day and participate in an appreciation dialogue. 

The appreciation dialogue is a variation of the couples dialogue, where couples set aside time and use this dialogue to let each other know what they love and appreciate about each other.

It’s exciting to know that with a little effort, you can begin this new year with a fresh start in your relationship.

So, we guess January isn’t such a letdown after all. Ah, the beauty of perspective!

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Christine Wilke is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and received her Ed.S degree from Seton Hall University. She offers a respectful, strength based approach to therapy to help clients cultivate their innate capacity for creative problem solving. She believes the seed of the solution is within... Read more and works with her clients to help them discover and build on the strengths and gifts they already possess. Read less

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