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Negative Relationship: What to do about it

Negative Relationship

A negative relationship is the one in which one or both partners are focused on negative feelings and actions. No relationship lasts if it starts off on the wrong foot. All of them are  loving and positive in the beginning. But, in time things change and the relationship becomes negative because of the actions of the spouses.

How to know for sure if you’re a part of a negative relationship, and what to do if you want to turn things around.

Arguing

How it looks:

Partners in a negative relationship 99% of the time “love” to fight and argue for no reason. They constantly scream at each other and insults are common. In the beginning, the arguments are probably about some important issues, but in time the issues become completely irrelevant and spouses fight just to express their anger and dominate over the other person. They lead nowhere and have no tendency in resolving anything. Instead, they are endless and only make both persons angry and unhappy.

What to do:

If you want to end arguing, couples therapy is the best solution. If you can’t afford, or your partner doesn’t like counseling, then a good idea is constructiveness. Try to become the more reasonable partner and argue only about important issues. Withdraw from yelling or insults and don’t answer in the same way if you’re facing that kind of behavior. In time, your partner will see that he or she is fighting with windmills. Then, a reasonable conversation resolving problems can happen in peace.

Manipulation

How it looks:

You’re in a negative relationship when your spouse is always trying to get things done the way they want, and your opinion is irrelevant. In this case, your partner will do everything in his or her power to make you obey their wishes. They will use all kinds of manipulative methods to make you live by their rules. It might be sex restrictions, emotional withdrawing, punishments, etc.

What to do:

Expressing your feelings is the best answer. Start your defense by acknowledging how you feel. A good answer when you feel manipulated is “I don’t like what you’re doing, you need to stop that”. Explain that you won’t take the tormenting anymore and you will walk out if that kind of treatment continues. If they think you’re bluffing, you’ll have to show them you’re dead serious.

Inequality

How it looks:

Inequality means that your spouse needs to be put on a pedestal all the time, while you’re somewhat irrelevant. Fairness is very important in all healthy relationships. Both partners should feel equal and receive equal treatment from their partner. If you feel like you are constantly doing something you don’t like for your partner’s sake, and when you want something the partner doesn’t give it to you, then that relationship is unequal.

What to do:

Point the inequality. Try to make them understand that your relationship is not fair and you are not receiving the same amount of attention like he or she is. If they don’t want to realize and change, therapy is a good option. There, a professional will help them see the situation better.

If therapy is not an option, a reasonable talk might be helpful, but staying in an unfair relationship should never be allowed.

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