Midlife Crisis and Marriage Problems

Marriage Problems

A midlife crisis can occur in men and women. The crisis may be slightly different when comparing the two, but no one is exempt from experiencing a midlife crisis. This crisis is one that involves a lot of emotions and includes an identity crisis or a crisis of self-confidence. A midlife crisis can occur when a person is middle-aged, between 30 and 50 years old. There are many different marriage problems a spouses can experience during this time. Here is a little insight on the problems that can occur and how to handle them.

The questions

Marriage problems in a midlife crisis often involve a lot of questions. A spouse can begin to question themselves and wonder if the life they lead is all that there is in life and they may start to want something more. A person may question themselves about why they are doing the things they are doing and consider their needs a lot more than they have been. Some people do not recognize who they are anymore or what or who they have become. In other situations, a spouse may wonder and question themselves about why they waited so long to get out and live their life.


Comparisons are another occurrence. A lot of people want to know if a marriage can survive a midlife crisis, and the answer is yes. A midlife crisis destroying your marriage is a common fear of many married couples, but there is a way around a lot of these problems. As far as comparisons are concerned, you or your spouse may begin to compare yourself to successful people you know, such as friends, relatives and co-workers or people you see in a movie or strangers you seem to notice when you are out running errands. When this happens, a spouse may begin to feel less than, self-conscious or experience a strong sense of regret. This can make a person focus solely on themselves or cause them to go “soul searching”, leaving everything and everyone behind.


Being exhausted is a common problem in marriage that can cause a midlife crisis. When a person is exhausted, they may continue to endure their daily routine, but they are operating on fumes. It is similar to a vehicle that is running out of gas. You can continue to accelerate, but once the gas is gone, you will need to refill the gas tank. A person who is exhausted has continued to go and push every day until they can no longer function. They need to refuel by allowing their body and mind to rest and relax. When a midlife crisis occurs in this instance, everything a person ever thought of will be questioned, regardless if it was something they did when they were 6 years old or something they did as recent as yesterday. Every situation and every detail will be considered. This can be an issue in a marriage because these instances will be all a person talks about and the spouse will become tired of hearing about the same situations leading them to become become frustrated and aggravated. The situation can escalate from there.

Make drastic changes

Drastic changes in a midlife crisis are often referred to as an identity crisis within a midlife crisis. You may notice that your spouse is eager to lose weight or go back to their old ways in high school. A lot of people talk about their days in high school and the things they remember about it, but this is not a midlife crisis in identity. When an identity midlife crisis occurs, the situation will be sudden and urgent. Your spouse may talk about joining their friends from high school or wanting to lose weight and get in shape and they will act upon their thoughts. This is where the problem sets in for many married couples. A spouse may start going out more to bars or clubs with their high school friends and harp on losing weight to become more attractive. When this happens, a person can become jealous and start to feel as if their relationship is falling apart. Since these changes are sudden and often occur without warning, a spouse can feel they lack attention or emotional support.

How to handle a midlife crisis

Dealing with a midlife crisis in marriage won’t be easy, but that does not mean it is impossible. One of the best things you can do for your spouse is try your best to be there for them. Some couples greatly benefit for counseling and therapy. If you plan on taking this course of action as a solution for a midlife crisis, it is important you both attend therapy or counseling and work through any issues you are having in your marriage together.