A midlife crisis in marriage can occur in both men and women. The crisis may be slightly different when comparing the two, but no one is exempt from experiencing a midlife crisis in marriage.
This crisis is one that involves a lot of emotions and includes an identity crisis or a crisis of self-confidence. A midlife crisis can occur when a person is middle-aged, between 30 and 50 years old.
There are many different marriage problems spouses can experience during this time. So, can a marriage survive a midlife crisis?
Although the midlife crisis and marriage happen to co-exist in several cases, it is not impossible to solve the middle age marriage issues. If love prevails in your relationship and you have the will to save your marriage, you can pre-empt marriage breakdown.
So, if you have come across the stages of midlife crisis affairs, here is a little insight into the different ways a midlife crisis affects a marriage, how to deal with a midlife crisis and overcome the middle-age relationship problems.
A spouse can begin to question themselves and wonder if the life they lead is all that there is in life, and they may start to want something more.
A person may question themselves about why they are doing the things they are doing and consider their needs a lot more than they have been. Some people do not recognize who they are any more or what or who they have become.
In other situations, a spouse may wonder and question themselves about why they waited so long to get out and live their life.
Comparisons are another occurrence. A lot of people want to know, can marriages survive the midlife crisis, and the answer is yes. A midlife crisis destroying your marriage is a common fear of many married couples, but there is a way around a lot of these problems.
As far as comparisons are concerned, you or your spouse may begin to compare yourself to successful people you know, such as friends, relatives, and co-workers or people you see in a movie, or strangers you seem to notice when you are out running errands.
When this happens, a spouse may begin to feel less than, self-conscious, or experience a strong sense of regret. This can make a person focus solely on themselves or cause them to go “soul searching,” leaving everything and everyone behind.
Being exhausted is a common problem that can cause a midlife crisis in marriage.
When a person is exhausted, they may continue to endure their daily routine, but they are operating on fumes. It is similar to a vehicle that is running out of gas. You can continue to accelerate, but once the gas is gone, you will need to refill the gas tank.
A person who is exhausted has continued to go and push every day until they can no longer function. They need to refuel by allowing their body and mind to rest and relax.
When a midlife crisis in marriage occurs everything a person ever thought of will be questioned, regardless if it was something they did when they were six years old or something they did as recently as yesterday. Every situation and every detail will be considered.
This can be an issue in marriage because these instances will be all a person talks about, and the spouse will become tired of hearing about the same situations leading them to become frustrated and aggravated. The condition of the midlife crisis in marriage can escalate from there.
Make drastic changes
Drastic changes in a midlife crisis are often referred to as an identity crisis within a midlife crisis in marriage.
You may notice that your spouse is eager to lose weight or go back to their old ways in high school. A lot of people talk about their days in high school and the things they remember about it, but this is not a midlife crisis in identity.
When an identity midlife crisis occurs, the situation will be sudden and urgent. Your spouse may talk about joining their friends from high school or wanting to lose weight and get in shape, and they will act upon their thoughts.
This is where the problem sets in for many married couples. A spouse may start going out more to bars or clubs with their high school friends and harp on losing weight to become more attractive.
When this happens, a person can become jealous and start to feel as if their relationship is falling apart. Since these changes are sudden and often occur without warning, a spouse can feel they lack attention or emotional support.
How to handle a midlife crisis in marriage
Identify the signs
Dealing with a midlife crisis in marriage won’t be as easy as falling off a log, but that does not mean it is not worth considering.
The foremost thing is to identify the glaring signs of middle age marriage problems.
Don’t run away from the problems
When you have observed in your husband, midlife crisis stages or you have detected the signs of a midlife crisis in a woman, rather than running away or ruining your relationship, the situation calls for your action.
Extend your support
One of the best things you can do to get over your marriage problems is trying your best to be there for your spouse and extend your unlimited support to them.
Your spouse will be able to get over the issues with your selfless love and appreciate your effort in this challenging time. Nevertheless, this is not magic, and it might take a big deal of time to get over this mid-life crisis in marriage.
If you plan on taking this course of action as a solution for a midlife crisis in your marriage, you both must attend therapy or counseling and work through any marriage problems you are having in your marriage together.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.