What to Do When You Realize That You’re Married to a Mama’s Boy?

You are proud of your husband because he’s sweet and thoughtful, not to mention a real gentleman around the ladies. 

He knows how to respect and how to say the right things that charm women. 

He’s such a catch and you’re sure to be envied by your friends – until you realize why he’s like that. After many months of being married, you finally see why he’s such a gentleman and captivating – you married a mama’s boy! 

Now, what do you do? 

What is a mama’s boy?

He’s such a mama’s boy! You’ve heard this phrase numerous times already but just how do you explain what the real mama’s boy meaning is? 

A mama’s boy is a child who is the apple of the eye of his mom but through the years, this meaning changed into a fully-grown male who is still very much dependent on his mother even in adulthood.   

While you may think that it is harmless or just shows that a man is not independent, it can actually pose a threat not just with his maturity but also when he already has a family of his own. 

A man who is already old enough to make decisions for himself but still lets his mother take the final decisions even if he already has a family is definitely amongst men with mom issues.

Dealing with a mama’s boy is not easy! 

Many women who are married to one would swear to the fact that it’s so hard to have to deal with a man who can’t really do anything without his mom’s final say. 

How to spot a mama’s boy

Just how do you know the signs of mama’s boy in full-grown married men? 

At first, you may not realize that your boyfriend or the person you are dating is a certified mama’s boy. In fact, they can even pass off as just someone really sweet with their mothers and being in this stage of dating, you wouldn’t really be noticing any signs. 

Once you are married, this is the time that you’ll just wonder how to deal with a momma’s boy. 

The signs will start to show, and here are just some of the signs that you are married to momma’s boy.

1. Mommy’s request is his top priority. Is your husband too busy for you but is always available when his mom calls? Is your husband always the one who accompanies her to the grocery, paying bills, and even when she has to go to the doctor? 
2. Do you often see that your husband is busy with his phone but he’s not flirting with other girls, he’s actually talking to his mom, like more than once a day!
3. What to do when your husband chooses his family over you and your children? If you feel that this is something you should think about, then you’re married to a man who would rather choose his mom than his family. 
4. When making big decisions, your husband includes his mom’s opinion. 
5. Your mother-in-law visits very often and makes the changes she likes in your home. 
6. Does your husband or long-time boyfriend always compare you with his mom? Does he tell you how different your steak is unlike how his mom does it? 
7. “My mother in law acts like she is married to my husband,” if you have found yourself uttering these words then most likely, you are married to a mama’s boy.
8. Lastly, you live near his mom’s home or in fact, you live with her.

Husband and mother-in-law problems – setting boundaries

If you aren’t yet married but already in a serious relationship, you’d, of course, want to know how to deal with a mama’s boy boyfriend and to make a point. 

You don’t want to feel like you’re the third wheel here, right? 

However, the real question here is, before the husband and mother-in-law problems get out of hand, we want to know how to change a momma’s boy and get him to man up for himself and for you – his family.

Most women would think that letting him choose and nagging him about how he should stop being a momma’s boy works, but this isn’t the ideal approach because this will cause his ego to get hurt, he would also get hurt with the words you will be saying and will build tension and resentment. 

Also, his mom would also find out, so that’ll cause more trouble.

1. Talk and set boundaries

Let your husband know that you understand and you will respect his bond with his mom but he also needs to adjust for you and the children if you have any. 

You don’t have to always be there for your mother-in-law as your husband does. Instead, if they want to have dinner together or want to go out, you can politely decline. 

2. Focus on yourself as a wife and a mother to your children

Along the way, talk to your husband about how he should also set some boundaries as this is your household and not his mothers’ territory. 

Limiting her control over your home will be liberating as well as an eye-opener that you are the queen of your home. 

3. Express your emotions to your husband but do it nicely

Don’t be the bad guy in this situation. 

You can befriend your mother-in-law and talk about raising families. You can also talk to your husband about comparing and that it’s not really nice to do that – again do these things nicely. 

4. More patience is what you will be needing

Just like the term mama’s boy, it may seem that your husband is still a young boy who deeply loves and depends on his mother. This is something that you will gradually change but do it slowly.

A mama’s boy isn’t that all a bad thing, in fact, it makes him compassionate and respectful towards people. 

It’s just sometimes, the thought of having competition for his attention, the clash between wife and mother in law becomes too stressful but it’s still something that you can definitely work on – after all, you are a family.

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The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts... Read more to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice. Read less