5 Key Relationship Tips Inspired by “Fifty Shades of Grey”

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Updated: 22 May, 2026

Focus on Each Other Put away phones, look into each other's eyes, and connect in the moment to build lasting intimacy.
Don't Judge Create a judgement-free space where both partners share feelings without fear, and accept each other as you are.
Keep an Open Mind in the Bedroom Discuss desires openly, listen with empathy, and explore compromises so both feel seen and connected.

It can be a little hard to get past all of the BDSM and the curse words when it comes to Fifty Shades of Grey. Once you’re done with squealing “oh my!” or ranting about how horrible this book and film are for humanity, there are actually a few good lessons to be learned that can help your marriage.

Before getting to these lessons, it’s worth stressing that this isn’t about creating a kinky dungeon in your closet or anything to that effect. It’s about opening your eyes to some lessons from Fifty Shades of Grey that will make your marriage rock in and out of the bedroom.

1.Focus on Each Other

While Christian’s behaviour may have at times fallen on the stalker side of the spectrum, there is something to be said about focusing your attention on your partner. You don’t need to master the intense stare, but when you’re together, all of your focus should be on each other and connecting in that moment. Don’t look at your phone, forget about the distractions around you, and make the effort to look into each other’s eyes and really connect. It creates intimacy that can benefit your marriage.

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2.Don’t Judge

Creating a judgement-free relationship is important in all aspects of marriage. Christian and Ana obviously had very different preferences and views when they met, but neither of them judged the other. Neither of you should ever feel hesitant about sharing your feelings for fear of being judged. Accept and love each other for who you are.

3.Keep an Open Mind in the Bedroom

This is right up there with not judging each other. When it comes to intimacy, you want to keep things as open as possible so that both of you feel comfortable sharing your wants and needs. Your fantasies may not mesh completely, but that shouldn’t stop you from being open to learning about what they want and considering a compromise. Open communication when it comes to intimacy is key to a mutually satisfying marriage. Besides, trying new things can be loads of fun for both of you!

4.Know the Importance of Love and Affection

Sure, the trilogy was sexually charged, but it wasn’t just about sex between Christian and Ana, there was true affection as well. Men and women are guilty of letting the loving gestures and affection slide after marriage. Everyone wants to feel loved and adored. Taking the time to hold and caress each other, compliment each other, and be affectionate does just that. Don’t just kiss and cuddle when it’s time for sex and instead make the effort to show love and affection multiple times a day, whether with a kiss on the forehead or a comforting embrace after a hard day.

5.Make Intimacy a Priority

Intimacy doesn’t have to be everything, but it shouldn’t take the backburner as it does all too often in marriage. Make intimacy a priority in your relationship no matter how busy life gets. Need some incentive other than better emotional and mental health? Intimacy is a cornerstone of healthy marriages, so find a way to work it into yours, no matter how tired you are at the end of the day.

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Marriage.com Editorial Team Relationship & Marriage Advice

The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts... Read more to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice. Read less