Marriage is an integral stage in any man’s life. Marriage can either be amusing or sour, depending on the choices people make. But, you must definitely try not losing yourself in a relationship.
In This Article
In the first few months of marriage, the marriage is full of happiness, love, and all you want is to spend the rest of your life with your partner. As the marriage progresses, things start changing quarrels become frequent, love begins to fade, and you start feeling that you and your partner are growing apart.
What could have gone wrong and what are the signs you’re losing yourself in a relationship?
This question remains a mystery to men, and that’s why the rate of divorce is getting higher and higher. It’s because many men do not know signals that their marriage is in danger and how to not lose yourself in marriage.
If you have been wondering how to rekindle a relationship or how you cansave your marriage, the following are the dos and don’ts to follow. If you are fearing losing yourself in a relationship, read along to get some essential tips, especially applicable to men.
Dos in a marriage
Love the one you married unconditionally
You should always love the person you married and not the partner you expect her to become. Once you place the ring on her finger, you committed yourself to her, irrespective of her behavior or weaknesses.
Any issue with your partner’s habits should have been discussed before marriage. You should love your spouse with her shortcomings and try to make them her strengths instead.
By doing this, she will be more than willing to change her bad behavior so that she can reciprocate your love for her. It will make your marriage thrive well.
View your marriage as a longtime engagement
Many men take marriage as a stage of life that needs to be passed. If you are one of them, then you are so wrong.
Marriage should be a lifelong commitment meaning you are ready to do anything to ensure that you end up spending the rest of your life with the one you chose.
Even in the darkest time, it should be your obligation to make it a habit of remembering that you should take the vows you made seriously. It all starts in mind, and if you have made it clear in your mind that your marriage will last a lifetime, then you will be more committed to ensuring it is long-lasting.
Put your disputes in the context
No marriage lacks significant issues and small issues. What defines an enjoyable and successful marriage is the ability to differentiate the two. This will help you to avoid making a big problem from a small one.
You should realistically study the issue and observe how it is impacting you and your spouse. You should also take into consideration the long term outcome and the worst scenarios.
Always solve the more significant problems immediately and later focus on the smaller ones. This will help in preventing unnecessary arguments and fights that might break your marriage.
If you want to avoid getting lost in marriage, always know about handling your problems with your spouse.
Communication is the most vital tool in any relationship. The first step in achieving a productiveconversation is to embrace it other than seeing it as a duty that you must perform.
Almost every marriage has been destroyed due to a lack of communication or poor communication.
Many men are inconsiderate when it comes to communication because they want to win every argument due to their insecurities. Sometimes people find themselves fighting because of something that could have been prevented by proper communication.
To make your marriage flourish, you should listen and lovingly speak to your spouse when solving disputes.
Be faithful and forgiving
If there is something that women do not recover from is unfaithfulness. Once you cheat on her, the marriage will undoubtedly break.
To avoid this, all that is required is proper communication. Try to know your spouse’s desires and be honest about your issues, the cause of stress, and want of cheating on her.
In marriage, you should also not be quick in making a harsh decision on small things. You should learn the act of forgiving and giving your spouse a second chance. This will help to nourish and save your marriage.
Don’ts in a marriage
The following are what men should not do to avoid getting lost in marriage.
Don’t deny sex to your partner
Who doesn’t know that sex is a crucial tool in marriage, and it rejuvenates the marriage. In some cases, some marriages have broken due to sexual dissatisfaction or sexual abuse.
In most cases, many men withhold sex because of fights or misunderstanding. They find themselves not able to stand to be in the same room with their partner. They do these not for days or weeks but months.
Fighting in marriage is normal, but you should not take it too far. Using sex as a weapon to get back at your partner is dangerous in any marriage. This will make the woman to be hurt emotionally and make her love and affection for you to fade away.
Don’t be self-centered
This may be brought up in many different ways, including sharing things and a lack of understanding. Many men show their selfish acts by spending more time with their buddies than their spouse.
Before marriage, many men are used to spending a lot of their time with their friends. Be it going to clubs for a drink or watching football matches. Things are different when you get married.
The best way to deal with this issue is to treat your partner like a buddy and include her in your activities with your friends. This will prevent her from feeling that she is less important and unwanted.
Who doesn’t hate people who lie to them? The same thing happens to your spouse when you lie to them. They start hating you instead of loving you, and their trust for you fades.
Lies come in different forms. You might lie to her of where you are going out, or you might hide essential things like finances from her. When she comes to find out the truth, that’s when things fall apart.
Lies will make her never to trust what you say even if you are telling her the truth. She will also start reciprocating the same and start lying to you and having secrets.
When this happens, there is no repair to it. It will eventually lead to a broken marriage. To ensure a successful marriage always be honest with your spouse and avoid keeping secrets from her.
Don’t be entirely independent
Being independent is a good thing as a man. However, in marriage, you should not be overly independent. You should abstain from the attitude that you don’t need their help since you are the man.
A real man will involve his spouse in his problems and ask her for help when he is stuck. When you face any challenge, she should be the first one to run to for help.
This will make her feel that they are a part of your life and that you are grateful she is a part of your life. By doing this, you will make your marriage healthierand the bond for each other stronger.
Don’t become abusive
A bad temper is the root of anger, which makes many men abusive. Loss of temper is common in many marriages, but it destroys marriages when it becomes habitual.
They are different forms of abuse, including emotional, physical, or verbal, and none is acceptable. It doesn’t matter how angry you are or disappointed you are, but abuse is never the way to solve things.
This is the primary cause of divorce in today’s world. Women demand that you respect them and show them, love, even when correcting their mistakes.
In conclusion, many pitfalls may lead to an unhealthy marriage but can be avoided by making the right choices. Make an effort to rebuild your marriage by changing these bad behaviors.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Cheryl Hearts is a talented journalist from Boston, Massachusetts. From an early age, she was into writing so she decided to make it her career. Obtaining a Master’s Degree in Journalism has boosted her desire to grow as a journalist and currently she contributors to major media publications. Cheryl also runs her blog CherylHearts.com where she shares her opinion on topics trending in modern society.