How Can I Get Back Together With My Ex Girlfriend?

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Expertise: Relationship & Marriage Advice

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Updated: 6 Jul, 2023

Clarity before reconciliation Know your true reasons for reconnecting and choose love over desperation so your actions reflect a sincere desire to deepen the connection.
Move from desperation Let go of controlling instincts and focus on personal change, so you can meet her as a healthier, more present partner.
Give space, then reconnect Take time to reflect and communicate boundaries, allowing both of you to miss and value each other, paving a stronger, more caring bond.

Are you a guy who doesn’t want to accept that your ex-girlfriend is gone forever? Do you find yourself repeating many times a day, “How can I get back together with my ex-girlfriend?” or “I miss my ex-girlfriend”.

Do you want to get back together with her and have a relationship that will stand the test of time this go around? Are you asking yourself “How can I get back together with my ex-girlfriend without ruining the relationship again?” If this is you then you better have some sort of plan laid out in order to accomplish your desired outcome. So, that begs the question, how to get ex-girlfriend back?

There are different steps to take when trying to get back together with your ex-girlfriend. If you don’t have a plan laid out then you may do irrational things that end up pushing your ex-girlfriend further away instead of bringing her back to you. Here are some tips to help you come up with a plan for getting back together with an ex-girlfriend.

Read on adulting 101 on how to win back your ex-girlfriend

Don’t pursue her for the wrong reasons

Getting back with an ex-girlfriend is not easy but it’s not impossible for you to get back your ex-girlfriend unless you did something that she just can’t forgive.

But you need to ask yourself if you are pursuing her for the right reasons. Do you really want your ex-girlfriend back or are you just lonely? Do you still love her or is she just someone who is comfortable for you to be with? Are you trying to win her back because you’re hurt that she dumped you or because you really want her back in your life? Be honest with these questions!

If reasons like “my ex-girlfriend is getting married and I must get her back in my life before someone else scores” is your reason for getting back together with an ex-girlfriend, then you are definitely in over your head.

It’s not fair to her or you if you get her back on false pretenses. The only reason you should want her back is because you love her. So, that begs the question for you to ask yourself, “should I get back together with my ex-girlfriend?”

Don’t be desperate

Desperation can cause you to do things that are completely uncharacteristic of you, and that will send her packing for good. These types of things include stalking, begging, crying, seeking revenge, and saying things that you don’t mean.

Getting back with ex-girlfriend means letting go of the desperation first and act from a place of judiciousness. You have to control the way you feel and realize that desperation is not a good emotion to have when trying to win back your ex-girlfriend.

Once you clearly understand this, you’ll automatically become more aware of when you’re feeling desperate and the possible results that could come from that.

Getting back together with an ex-girlfriend requires you to have control over your thoughts and actions.

Start moving on

This doesn’t mean that you have to move on from her completely. It just means that you don’t obsess about her, but instead start to work on yourself as a new person. You can never enter the relationship as the same old guy, as that didn’t work out in the first go around. You need to work on yourself and eventually approach her as a new and improved guy.

Getting back together with an ex-girlfriend doesn’t mean you have to tweak every area of your life, just the areas that caused issues in your relationship.

If you are too controlling, needy, or deceptive then these are areas that you should work on so that you never have to worry about them affecting your relationship again. Getting back together with an ex-girlfriend can be very daunting if you continue being a control freak or a doubting Thomas.

Don’t shut her out completely

You may want to take some time away from her, but inform her that the time is just for you gathering your thoughts and moving on with your life.

She will respect that desire and during that time she may start to miss you and look forward to when you start talking to her again. This can be the beginning of a brand new, healthier relationship. If she reaches out to you then don’t ignore her. Respond to her as briefly as you like, and then continue on your journey to becoming a better partner and realizing what you want out of a partner.

Eventually, there will be a moment where the two of you can sit down and talk about the relationship and where it went wrong in a mature manner. And if you’ve worked on yourself to become a better person, she will see that you’re a different man and that a second chance may be worth her while! You’ll be on the road to getting back together with an ex-girlfriend in no time this way!

Alex Wise
Alex Wise is CEO of Loveawake.com free dating site and relationship coach. He works with single men and women who feel like life is passing them by and helps them to get clear on what they really want and finally make their dreams happen. He also loves sharing meaningful content that educates and inspires people to bring their dreams into reality. He has been covering online dating, relationships, breakups and marriage niche since 2008

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Marriage.com Editorial Team Relationship & Marriage Advice

The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts... Read more to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice. Read less