15 Ways to Save Your Personal Relationships With EFT Tapping

Relationship problems are a common reason for seeking counseling or couples therapy. When you seek outside help for your relationship problems, many options are available.

One treatment modality that may be beneficial for improving relationships is EFT tapping. Learn all about this treatment option below. 

What is EFT tapping?

Before reading this article, you may have yet to hear about EFT for relationships. So, what is EFT tapping? It belongs to a type of therapy called “emotional freedom techniques.” 

EFT tapping centers on the belief that psychological pain results from disruptions in a person’s energy balance. By using tapping, it is believed that a person can create a balanced energy system and overcome negative emotions. 

Learn more about EFT tapping in this video:

How is EFT tapping performed?

EFT is thought of as being similar to acupuncture. It works by using the fingers to tap and apply pressure to certain body areas called “meridian points.” These are pathways that are believed to keep the energy system in balance. 

Learning how to do EFT tapping begins by identifying the issue at hand. Knowing the underlying source of fear, distress, or unhappiness you are looking to resolve is important.

You then develop a statement that becomes the focus of your EFT work, such as, “Even though I am experiencing anxiety in my relationship, I deeply and completely accept myself.” 

Next, you move on to the act of EFT tapping. This involves tapping different meridian areas while repeating your focus statement, explained above, as you go. This reminds you to focus on your problem area. 

Five steps to building relationships with EFT tapping

The general process of EFT tapping is explained briefly above, but if you want to get the full benefits out of this practice, it is essential to understand the five steps involved in EFT tapping:

1. Identify the problem

EFT tapping works best when you focus on one problem at a time. Before beginning, choose the problem that you’d like to be your area of focus. 

2. Rate the intensity of the problem

In this step, you rate the intensity of your problem on a scale of 0 to 10. If you rank your problem at a 10, this means it is the most difficult it could possibly be. 

3. Develop your focus statement

It is important to develop a statement or phrase that will be the focus of your work. EFT tapping phrases remind you of the issue that you will work on while at the same time acknowledging that you accept yourself, despite having this issue. 

An example statement is, “Even though I am having problems communicating in my relationship, I deeply and completely accept myself.” Keep this statement in mind because you will repeat it to yourself as you do your EFT tapping. 

4. Engage in EFT tapping

The process of performing EFT tapping on your own can be challenging, so you should seek the assistance of a professional EFT counselor who is trained in the EFT technique steps and knows where the different meridian points are. 

During step four, you will go through the tapping process. Typically, it begins by tapping a meridian called the “karate chop point” while repeating your statement three times. Next, you will tap each of the following meridians seven times in this order:

• eyebrow
• side of the eye
• under the eye
• under the nose
• chin
• beginning of the collarbone
• under the arm

After tapping under your arm, you will touch the top of your head. While you undergo this process, you will remind yourself of the focus of your EFT tapping, such as, “I am having communication problems in my relationship.” 

5. Rate the final intensity of the problem

Finally, you will come back and rank the intensity of your problem at the end of an EFT session. If you have not reached a 0, meaning the problem is no longer present, you will repeat the EFT technique steps.

15 ways to save your relationship with EFT tapping 

Now that you’ve had some basic EFT tapping training, it’s time to learn how this process can improve your relationship. Learn about the 15 benefits below.

1. Reduced anxiety

One of the primary uses of EFT tapping is to alleviate negative emotions. If anxiety interferes with your relationship functioning, EFT is an excellent option.

Perhaps you’re anxious about establishing a sexual relationship with your partner or about opening up and sharing intimate details of your life. In this case, EFT tapping techniques can improve your relationship by alleviating your anxiety. 

2. Increased acceptance

When you’re in an argument with your partner, you are likely to feel hopeless, as if the problem will never be resolved. With its focus on self-acceptance, EFT tapping can ground you in reality. Instead of feeling hopeless about the problem, you’ll be able to accept that everything is okay, despite the problem. 

3. Ability to remain calm during fights

EFT tapping produces feelings of relaxation and calmness, which can be beneficial during disagreements. Instead of becoming overwhelmed with anger and other emotions, after you’ve practiced EFT tapping, you’ll be better equipped to remain calm and rational during disagreements.

4. Overcoming fear

In relationships, some of our greatest fears come to light. Being in a serious relationship may reveal fear of abandonment, fear of commitment, or fear of being betrayed. Using EFT can help you come to terms with your fears and recognize that your love is greater than your fear. 

5. Better stress management

EFT practitioners believe that by restoring energy balance, EFT tapping can reduce your stress. This has a positive impact on relationships. We’ll likely take some of our frustrations out on our partners when stressed out. 

Healthy stress management practices make us less likely to fly off the handle and lash out at the people we love. 

6. Healing from past trauma

Unfortunately, we can carry the pain of past trauma into future relationships, which can interfere with the bond we form with our significant other. We may be fearful of connecting if we’re still traumatized by a past betrayal or abuse.

EFT tapping can help you connect with the emotions surrounding your trauma and help you to develop compassion for yourself. After going through the process, trauma will have less of an impact on your relationship. 

7. Breaking down defenses

EFT couples counseling can be beneficial because it can help you and your significant other break down defenses that may be getting in the way of your relationship. 

For example, if your partner becomes defensive whenever you point out a behavior that upsets you, they are unlikely to change that behavior.

With EFT tapping, your partner can learn to accept themselves, despite the problem behavior, and through this process, their defenses will lessen. As their defenses break down, they will be more willing to correct their behavior. 

8. Increased happiness

Through EFT for relationships, couples can learn to be more accepting of and respectful toward each other’s emotions. 

As you move through the process of EFT counseling with your partner, you’re likely to notice that they’re making more of an effort to consider your feelings, which will make you happier in the relationship. 

9. Enhanced communication

EFT for couples can improve the communication between you and your significant other.

When you practice EFT, you must put your problem into words. Instead of pushing problems under the rug or pretending they don’t exist, you are required to make a statement about the key problem.

Communicating problems through EFT can help you and your partner become more skilled at voicing your concerns and needs within the relationship, which ultimately makes for better communication. 

10. You won’t constantly try to change your partner anymore

One of the problems in most relationships is that we want to change our partners. We must change every flaw or imperfection they have. EFT tapping can help us come to accept our flaws.

Certainly, there might be areas where our partner needs to improve, but forcing them to change, or making them feel as if everything about them is wrong, isn’t the solution. 

With EFT, you can learn to love their flaws and all, which creates a better environment for positive changes. 

11. Self-growth

If you’re someone who silently broods with resentment or, at the opposite end of the spectrum, has outbursts of anger, EFT tapping can help you improve at regulating these motions. In the end, this self-growth will benefit your relationship. 

This is because couples in a relationship are part of a larger system. Each person is their subsystem, but changes in the individual will affect the relationship as a whole. 

You will grow when you get a better handle on negative emotions, and the relationship will grow right along with you. 

12. Becoming more accepting of love

If you resist accepting love, you may have some underlying self-esteem issues. Working through these issues with EFT tapping can help you to become more accepting of yourself.

When you resolve self-esteem issues, you’ll be better prepared to welcome love into your life. This means you won’t push them away when you find the right person. 

13. Borrowing benefits

One of the techniques in EFT tapping is the concept of borrowing benefits. This works because you watch someone else undergoing EFT, and then you work through your issue by tapping through it simultaneously.

This is an excellent option for couples. During an EFT session, you can tap through your issue while observing your partner and vice versa. This can help both of you to reduce the intensity of your problem. 

14. Improved health

Your health is one of your greatest assets, and there is evidence that EFT tapping can help people make healthier choices. Going through EFT may help you to commit to an exercise routine or develop healthier eating habits. 

This benefits your relationships, as you’ll be less likely to fall sick or have lifestyle-related health problems. 

15. Better focus

There is also evidence that EFT tapping can help people to improve their focus. If you and your partner are working on life goals together, such as saving to buy a house, EFT can help you to commit to these goals.

Is EFT tapping effective?

So does EFT tapping work? Researchers have conducted studies to determine if this practice is effective, and the results have been promising. One recent study found that EFT tapping was beneficial for increasing positive emotions and reducing negative emotions. 

FAQs

Here are some frequently asked questions about EFT tapping.

1. Is EFT effective for couples?

 EFT can be very effective for couples by reducing negative and increasing positive emotions. Research with EFT tapping has found that placing pressure on certain points of the body has psychological benefits, which can help couples with relationship problems. 

2. How many EFT sessions are needed?

The number of EFT sessions needed will vary based on a couple’s unique needs and the severity of their problems. 

Some couples may find that they only need one EFT session to address their relationship problems, whereas others may need numerous sessions on an ongoing basis to help them learn EFT techniques. 

The takeaway

EFT couples counseling can be an excellent treatment modality for couples dealing with relationship problems. This modality can help you to manage your emotions better and accept each other’s flaws and all. 

Getting a better handle on negative emotions and reducing stress makes for a happier relationship. Furthermore, your partner is likely to grow if you make positive changes after practicing EFT tapping.

If you’re looking into EFT treatment, it can be beneficial to work with a professional EFT counselor so that you can learn the techniques properly. You can find an EFT tapping points chart online to get started if you’d like to try a do-it-yourself approach. 

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Jennifer Schulz LCSW

Dr. Jenni Schulz is a licensed social worker with a master's degree in social work from The Ohio State University, and she earned her Doctorate of Philosophy in Psychology from National University. She has worked in the social work field for 14 years and is currently a professor at Ashland University.... Read more She writes website content about mental health, addiction, and fitness. Dr. Schulz is licensed as both a social worker through Ohio Board of Counselors, Social Workers, and Marriage/Family Therapists and a school social worker through Ohio Department of Education. She currently works primarily as a crisis therapist at her local hospital and jail, while engaging in mental health consulting virtually. Read less

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