Jordan Peterson is known for his wisdom. This Canadian psychologist got recognized when he provided the world a new way to think. He has been a topic of discussion because of his YouTube videos and amazing books.
Jordan Peterson’s approach towards life is simple yet unique. This makes him and his words stand out of the crowd.
Maps of meaning
Jordan has written two of the most influential books. The root of his achievements come through the Maps of meaning: The architecture of belief. This book addresses the socio-economical aspects of each problem. It nurtures the faith and the understanding of all the brain functions.
It shows the connection of beliefs and myths with the emotional way-outs. Here are a few messages that he gave to support relationships.
Don’t degrade
By his words, Jordan made it clear to never call your partner stupid or lesser. The whole ideology runs around the fact that it might be okay to do so, it might even make you feel empowered, but in reality, it doesn’t.
This will lead to emotional trauma and violence and you’ll be sitting thinking when did it proceed to such chaos this soon? This is so easy to predict because you don’t give your partner the leverage to speak for themselves while degrading them.
It is because you decide it for them that they lack that specific thing and it’s understood. Therefore, all they’ll be left with; is to feel miserable at their state.
Deliver the least amount of information
This is the easiest way out of a fight or an argument. It works in a very simple manner. Despite of addressing all the bad aspects of their personality and how they lack at being good, keep quiet. Instead of choosing the harshest statement, be clear about the current issue.
Making up a plot of the fight using the past mistakes won’t make the statement look valid, instead, it’ll build-up grudge.
Expectations
It’s obvious to expect from your partner. Keep it to the achievable limits. Do not expect from your partner more from their capability.
However, few things are under your control. Eventually, they will fall to the way you address them. It depends on the choice of words. There are a few things you can calmly ask from your partner and tell them it will make you happy.
Perhaps the smallest example is not to expect your partner to rush at the gate to you when you enter and just ask them to be welcoming from wherever they are. Be it the bathroom or the TV lounge.
Control your wishes
There are times when your partner is willing to help you out through some situation. Be minimal. Clear the unnecessary clutter of requirements. If the person is taking baby steps towards you, don’t hand them over a list of your expectations.
Despite that, imagine the need of the situation and don’t confuse it with whether you really need it or is it something that you just want, that’s it.
Don’t cry for sympathy
It never works if you start to address your issue in a manner that, ‘If you really loved me…’ or ‘Only if you actually liked me…’ Try replacing these statements with others.
The statement you will decide to choose shouldn’t be provoking or hitting the ego. Keep it easy. If you’re asking for your wish to get fulfilled, be rational. The sympathy talk sure will work for 1 year of togetherness. The next years it will make you look irrational and irritating.
Haste
Remember this, the more you seek pity by your acts, the vaguer you’ll look.
Few months your partner will bless you with the stuff you wanted. As time passes, they will make you feel in debt of its. It’s therefore required to stop taking hasty decisions and be patient towards your demands.
The problem
You might have succeeded in making your partner do exactly what you say. Here’s the drawback: your partner will no sooner get tired of entertaining you. Where you went wrong? Simple. You didn’t reward.
It’s human nature to seek reward and appreciation for whatever they do. If you don’t reward them for a nicer behavior, or understanding or buying you something, next time they simply won’t.
Verdict
Jordan Peterson addressed the tiniest of issues. It seems like these were the only ones causing all the gigantic problems. No human lives without attention. It can be demanded or be expected. Now it’s up to you what you choose and how you choose to ask for it. The real thing that keeps things going is consent.
Build your consent in the ability to understand each other. It might be the simplest thing to run a happy relationship then. Lastly, never keep a human with you like you’re taming them. There’s a difference between a lover and a pet.
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