How to Deal With Being Ghosted in a Relationship
Since the past decade or so, there has been a significant rise in people ghosting each other, mainly because it is oh-so-easy to do. This is majorly because of how, nowadays, communication mainly taking place through the online platform.
There are several levels of ghosting someone. From the general public to a number of celebrities have also been accused of ghosting their partners, and Matt Damon tops the list.
He ended his relationship via text message and did not answer any of the following texts from his now ex-girlfriend.
It can be easy for the one who is doing this. However, the same cannot be said for the one who is being ghosted.
Human beings require some form of closure.
A face-to-face breakup provides the partner the opportunity to cry, wail, blame, ask questions (even if they are not answered), and just let it all out — the chance to say a final good-bye. Being ghosted in a relationship can completely shatter a person, especially someone who has a fragile self-esteem, to begin with.
What is the meaning of the term, “Ghosted’?
The word, Ghosting means that either your friend or love interest has left you, out of the blue, without any reasons or explanations. They have severed all ties and ways of communication without any apparent warning or justification.
Why do people just severe ties without any explanation?
No one is perfect. People who ghost others have their own emotional turmoil to deal with. By ghosting others, they want to minimize their need to be emotionally present and available for others.
When it comes to a breakup, one has to be kind, empathetic, observant, mellow, all the while trying to put their point forward. So, perhaps, they do not want to go through the whole process of confrontations, the tears, and don’t want to see their once loved one to be heartbroken.
All in all, breaking up with someone requires a lot of effort and energy as well. And because you have been a very important part of your significant other’s life, it is your duty to help them get over this rough patch. However, several people, the people who prefer to ghost, are of the opinion, that if they are ending it all with someone, then they do not need or have to put in so much effort – this is where they are wrong though.
It is up to you how to respond to being ghosted, will you break down and let it consume you, or will you toughen up and rise again?
How to deal with being ghosted?
1. Acknowledgment
Being ghosted in a relationship is no one’s cup of tea. The one who is ghosted usually does not want to listen to any reason; however, as useless as it may sound, the first step is to get over your denial.
The denial can come in many forms.
You can think that you’re now ex is still in love with you, or they never loved you to begin with. The point here is that they loved you, even if for a while. You shared something beautiful, and as all good things must end, your story was a little short-lived, and that does not mean that it did not happen.
Or to think that your ex is still in love with you but has not realized it completely yet. None of these roads will help you get to closure and move on.
2. Be sympathetic towards yourself, and grieve
Just like a loved one passes away, one mourns their death.
The mourning period helps us move on. Though they will never be forgotten, however, the crying helps us through the rite of the passage. Similarly, when you go through a breakup, especially where you were given no closure, it is up to you to be kind enough for yourself and give your heart sufficient time to mourn.
Do not be harsh on yourself and tell yourself that you should have known better or “seen it coming.” No one can predict the future. What is meant to happen is bound to happen, and no one can change that.
3. Take care of yourself – your body and your mind
In this day and age, no one will bother themselves enough to come and care for you. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how impossible it may seem, no matter how much you have been beaten down, it is your job to stand back up again.
Only you can love yourself enough to make yourself stronger so no one can hurt you ever again. Being ghosted in a relationship should not take that away from you.
One of the most important steps to self-care is that before you fall in love with someone else, you have to fall in love with yourself.
4. Forgive, and let it go
Even if your ex took the coward way out, try and understand their point of view as well. After all, they knew you and your relationship best.
You spent a significant amount of time together, and maybe they did what they thought was best. If they thought that ghosting you was the best that they could do, considering their circumstances, then, can you really blame them?
Getting over being ghosted in a relationship is a tall order.
However, after all, is being said and done, after you have mourned your loss, stop with the blame game. There is no specific guide book on how to handle being ghosted?
At the end of the day, it will only hurt you and stop you from moving on.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. By taking purposeful and a whole-hearted action, Sylvia feels that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one.
