So, you finally popped the question and she said Yes! Cue Fireworks and a Kiss! You are literally on top of the world. But, once you get your foot back down from the clouds, you realize that things are going to change. It will. It should.
What is it like getting hitched?
Married life maybe a new adventure for you, but you are not the first, and hopefully not the last man to finally work up the courage to ask a woman to marry him. But –
No two marriages are exactly the same.
So, here sharing with you what’s expected out of you.
1. You can’t go out without permission
It will be like High School all over again. You are more or less free to live your life as long as your mother allows it. Technically, you are not free. Why do you think it’s called getting hitched?
Hitched by definition means tying down something (you) to another thing (you’re new boss-mother-wife).
It doesn’t matter if it’s your house and it’s your money paying the bills and stocking the fridge. You can’t do anything without your wife’s permission. Don’t worry, it works both ways, she needs your permission to do anything too. It’s all about communicating and understanding.
2. You’re expected to work and pay for things
Even in a master-slave relationship, both parties need to pull their weight to stay together. In an equal partnership such as marriage, it’s the same, except big decisions are made together as partners. Work together to bring home the bacon, cure it, cook it, and wash the dishes.
Traditional families say it’s simpler for the man to bring home the bacon and the wife does the rest.
But, modern families do everything together.
How you run your family dynamics is up to you, and neither approach is better than the other. It’s a matter of personal choice and circumstances. It’s just two different approaches to an age-old environment.
It is better to have such discussions with your partner during the engagement phase because it doesn’t matter if your filthy rich or dirt poor, you are now obliged to dedicate a significant amount of your time and resources to your household.
3. You are expected to be loyal
Yes, everyone knows that already, but knowing and doing are two different things. You would be surprised how many married people cheat on their partners.
So, unless you want to waste a lot of money for a marriage celebration and a messy divorce, don’t get married if you can’t remain faithful to your partner. It is understandable how some people find it difficult to have one sexual partner their entire lives, but marriage isn’t supposed to be easy.
So be faithful. Only then can you expect the same from your partner. If you don’t trust them to keep their word, then don’t marry them either.
4. Prepare for children
Getting hitched is not just about two people connected together. Rather, it is all about forming a new family together where their relatives become yours and vise versa. In-laws can be challenging to deal with, but that’s part of the marriage package.
That aside, the most important reason why a couple marries is to start a family. Everyone assumes both of you to have children. It doesn’t need to happen right away, but it is something that your families expect from the union.
Making babies is easy. Raising one is a two-decade-long responsibility. It is costly and time-consuming. It is also quite rewarding that can bring happiness and fulfillment to the lives of the family as a whole.
5. You are expected to prioritize your family
When you were dating, there were moments when you found yourself too lazy or too busy to answer your future wife’s call. That is your prerogative. Once you are married, things change – It is answer or die! Don’t worry about your pride as a man. It isn’t being trampled upon when you are at your wife’s beckon and call.
A real man stands by his commitments.
You made that promise when you marry someone. It’s not about manly pride. A man who ignores his wife isn’t a man at all. He is a complete jerk.
There are times when a woman is unreasonably jealous, overprotective, and possessive. That is a different issue, you can’t change what isn’t you. But if you love the person, then you should be aware of their personality long before you married her.
Do not expect people to change because you married them. Other than her surname, she is still the same person. Communicate and re-establish your relationship.
Married people are supposed to walk together in the same direction.
It helps a lot if you’re looking at the same map.
Speaking of walking in the same direction, you are now one entity. In the eyes of the government and the bank, you are considered as one. There are a lot of civil laws that treat a married couple as one entity.
As a couple, if you want your marriage to have any chance of working, you will need to have the same life goals. It has to be a specific and detailed plan that both of you wish to achieve. If you both have a separate career path, then make sure to support each other especially when you add child-rearing responsibilities into the mix.
Sharing the load of your personal goals and parenting is physically and mentally demanding.
Sacrifices are necessary to fit everything in a day. If you are curious about what needs to be sacrificed, then read the previous section again.
Getting hitched changes your lifestyle
If you read everything and sum it all up, you and your wife may still be the same person after you make your vows, but your lifestyles need to change.
Getting hitched, marriage, tying the knot, or whatever metaphors we have for it, at the end of the day, it is just a commitment. We gave our word, signed our name, and promised to stand by our spouse for the rest of our days.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.