What do people talk about when they are getting to know each other? While dating a person, it’s natural to ask a few questions and rely on the chemistry to solve the rest of the equation. But most people do not know the right questions to ask while getting to know each other. And therefore, they are not able to identify caution and strength areas in the prospective relationships.
But don’t worry, in this article, you will find a list of important questions to ask your partner before marriage. Don’t assume you know the answers to these questions.
The answers to these open ended questions can reveal your partner’s core values. Values that are the most important to him or her. Values he or she is not willing to compromise on. Isn’t it better to learn the answer to these important questions now than later?
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While asking the questions there is a rule that you must follow. You cannot mention past relationships by name or judge each other. Keep it intimate, just between the two of you. Take it easy. Later, when you are not together reflect on each other’s answers.
Important questions to discuss before marriage:
- What were your favorite childhood memories of your family? (This question include relatives, grandparents, and siblings).
- What do you think about the opposite sex? (This question reveals emotional baggage.)
- What did you think you would grow up to be when you were a child? Why?
- How would people describe you?
- What is your favorite and least favorite food? Why?
- What is your favorite thing to do on a date?
- If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
- What do you like about yourself?
- What do you least like about yourself?
- Why is your best friend your best friend? (Accept any answer).
- What should a long term relationship be like? For example how would we communicate with each other? What is the deal breaker? Would we have to be of the same faith?
- What do you want in a partner? Name at least three things. Listen carefully.
- What do you not want in a partner? Listen carefully.
- What do you think about money? How important is it to you? (The answer to this question will reveal spending habits).
- Where do you see yourself financially five years from now? (The answer to this questions will reveal goals for the relationship.)
- What is it that you would like to accomplish as an individual before you leave this earth? (This question will reveal core values.)
- What do you think about poor and rich people?
- What was the worst job or school experience you ever had?
- What do you think about people who are different from you? Other cultures?
- Have you ever been to another country? Would you like to go? Tell me about it.
- What are the traits you most like in people? Neatness, truthfulness, fun etc…
- Looking back on your past relationships, what did you do wrong that you don’t want to repeat in the future?
- Give an example of one thing that someone did that made you feel really good about yourself?
- How do you feel about sex and its importance in a relationship?
- Where would you like to live? Why?
- How do you feel about taking care of yourself health wise?(Both of you need to understand the importance of staying fit for each other.)
- If we were together for a long time like 25 years, what would we have accomplished together? (The answer to this question will determine the quality of your relationship).
- What is your spirituality? Your truth?
- What do you think about children? Do you like them? Why or why not?
- Does your family have any serious genetic health problems or mental problems? Laugh at this one but take it seriously.
The idea is to get the answers to all these questions over time in order to identify caution areas as well as strengths in the relationship. Feel free to text these questions, a couple at a time. Then after each of you has given them some thought, talk about it. These questions need to be discussed in person, so you can watch each other’s body language and facial expressions. It’s ok to revisit questions if either one of you thinks of something later. Information will be revealed that may surprise you, you may have more in common than you originally thought.
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