Getting married is considered as one of the most vital parts of one’s life. There has to be compatibility between both the parties. Marriage is the matter of your entire life, and before entering that phase, you need to ask your would-be spouse some questions. These questions would be very valuable and help you plan your marital life with mutual understanding.
The psychological patterns of each person vary depending upon the situation. A general idea about these patterns of your spouse would enable you to comprehend the mood swings as well. Following are questions for engaged couples to ask before getting married-
What is the purpose of getting married? You need to ask your would-be spouse what they want out of life as a couple. It would give you a clear idea of the expectations put forward by your partner.
Financial security, loneliness, or getting out of parents’ home shouldn’t be entertained as logical reasons for getting married.
Family of origin
Questions related to this area would help you understand your someone special’s childhood, the terms they have with their family, their likes and dislikes about each other’s family and much more.
Knowing about the childhood of your future spouse would help a lot in predicting their behavioral and psychological patterns.
Getting to know what your would-be spouse likes and dislikes about your family would minimize the chances of conflicts.
Questions asked about self-image would help you understand what your loved one thinks about you. Trust issues and insecurities should be discussed.
Do you both listen to each other well or there’s conflict in that regard? Patriarchy has to be discussed properly. Would your future spouse accept that happily?
Time management has quite a lot to do with how both of you will spend time together. It may also include questions like whether your partner would be happy if you’d want to pursue your interests in the future. Planning about how you both would spend quality time together can also be discussed.
This area usually creates tons of conflicts between the couple. You must be clear about what you and your spouse want and how you would categorize your wants and needs. You should ask whether they are a spender or a saver. Discuss these questions too:
- How would you manage your accounts?
- Do you both want to have a joint or a separate account?
- How would you deal with conflicts related to money?
These questions for engaged couples are extremely important and have to considered to have a financially secure life post marriage.
When it comes to parenting, you need to have everything planned carefully. Ask your partner how they would like to raise the children. What is the parenting philosophy that should be considered while raising the children? What kind of parent your partner would be?
Spirituality and religion
Ask your future spouse about what they think about religion. Does religion play an important role in their life? What is the importance of faith and spirituality in a marriage? What is the general image of God that your potential partner has?
Dealing with conflicts
Compatibility is a prerequisite in any relationship, especially in a marriage. Conflicts do exit, and you need to have your partner on the same page about how they would be resolved. The decision making authority has to be discussed. Ask your partner if both of you have any issues that are needed to be resolved before getting married. Discuss the differences and similarities you both have.
What kind of change your partner would want to see in you after married or vice versa? Will you both seek professional help if the conflicts are not resolved? Do you think you both share your problems with each other? Would you both forgive each other or would end the relationship? Loads of questions do lie in this area that should be asked before marriage.
Think about the above questions for engaged couples and ponder over the answers to make out how your married life together will be like.