It is the wish of most romantic love relationships to get married and be together forever. Counseling before marriage also known as pre-marriage counseling and is essential for everybody whether in a relationship or not. But it is quite unfortunate to know that most married couples nowadays don’t go for a pre-marital counseling before going to the alter.
Speaking of the pre-marriage counseling, it is a type of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage and the challenges, benefits and rules that comes with it. Engaging in counseling before marriage helps to ensure that you and your partner have a strong, healthy, non-toxic relationship which gives you a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage. It can also help you identify your individual weaknesses that could become problems during marriage and also tries to proffer a solution.
Pre-marriage counseling is specialized therapy usually provided by marriage and family therapists. It is believed to give an edge to those who are considering a long-term commitment such as marriage.
Below are some benefits of counseling before marriage
1. It helps in planning for the future
Premarital counselors do more than just help couples talk through their current issues. They also help couples plan for the future. A counselor can help couples set financial or family planning goals, and can proffer them a way to accomplish those goals.
Many couples enter into a marriage in debt because they financed a wedding that they really couldn’t afford. Pre-marital counselors can help you to create a budget, find out about the credibility of the person you will marry, and discover any loans, accrued payments and outstanding balances the person may have.
2. Discover new things about the couples themselves
Premarital therapy sessions give you the opportunity and freedom to discuss things that do not come up in normal conversations between you and your partner, like his or her dark secrets, hurtful past experiences, sex, and expectations. Marriage counselors and therapists ask a lot of questions when they are working with couples that are considering long term commitment such as marriage. Listening carefully to your partner’s answers is a great way to learn more about who you are about to committed to.
Many couples think that no one knows their partners better than they do, but we may not know of any past abuse or how the person expects the relationship to be. Counselors can help in bringing out important information and experiences that a partner might have not been willing to share.
3. It enables couples to absorb the counselors wisdom
Sharing issues with someone who has been married for a while is another big benefit of seeking pre-marriage counseling. When you talk to a marriage counselor, you get a firsthand or primary voice of wisdom on the subject of marriage. A marriage counselor gets to share their experiences and the sacrifices they’ve made to keep the marriage healthy.
4. It builds up effective communication skills
There is no relationship without communication. And as it is known, one of the most important aspects of any marriage is having an effective communication with your partner. When a couple stops caring and stops talking to one another, the marriage will eventually lead to a divorce. Counseling can help you learn how to be a good listener and also how to talk to your partner; therefore you know how to talk to your partner and what the other person wants and needs. When you live with someone day in day out, it is very easy to take each other for granted, but by keeping an open line of communication and expressing love to one another builds a relationship that can withstand the test of time and any storm.
So, one-on-one therapy session helps a lot of couples to learn how to talk to one another and express their feelings in a way that will not cause havoc to the relationship. You will learn how to hold your tongue when it’s appropriate and how to speak with honesty.
5. Pre-marriage counseling prevents future divorce
One of the most important reasons to seek pre-marriage counseling is to prevent and divorce later in the marriage. The reason for most divorces is infidelity or financial issues when in reality the major cause of a marriage breakdown is poor communication. Pre-marriage counseling will help empower you to build trust in one another and the techniques and methods you can adapt to support one another.
Also, these are questions addressed during a pre-marriage counseling sessions:
- Are you going to have children, and if you do then how many and will you be active in the children’s lives?
- Is your problem your partner’s problem and will he or she bail you out in time of need?
- How does your partner visualize the marriage in 10 or 15 years?
- How arguments and disagreement are to be handled in a relationship? And so on
Addressing those questions during pre-marriage counseling sessions helps in fostering the growth of a relationship.