Many couples look forward to parenthood as soon as they get married. Children are considered as one of the greatest blessings in life. They are the ones that complete a family. Parents are only parents with a child. Although the jump from coupledom into parenthood is exciting and wonderful, it is also exhausting and often troublesome. There are marriage and parenthood issues that often arise as soon as couples have a baby. There are new responsibilities, more work and less time and energy for it all. Mentioned below are a few tactics that you can utilize to avoid parenthood from interfering and causing problems in your married life.
1. Shared household chores
Domestic duties multiply as soon as the baby arrives. Yes there were chores previously as well, but now loads of laundry are double the size, the baby needs to be fed, or he will become all fussy and begin crying, and there are various other tasks that need to be done but there just isn’t as much time. You cannot procrastinate, the task at hand needs to be done at that very moment, or you’re staying up late to get them done.
What can be of help in this situation is dividing all these loathsome chores. Pick up a tit-for-tat system such as if you do the dishes, your spouse is going to have to fold the laundry. Although this can cause resentment among the couple, a way better option is making up a list of what each of you needs to do throughout the day. You can also switch responsibilities every now and then for a change. This method is sure to put away any potential marriage and parenthood issues.
2. Accept each other’s parenting style
It is common for couple’s parenting style to clash. One of them is usually more laid back and carefree than the other would like. Although you may have concerns and differences in your parenting styles, it is important that you talk them out with your partner. Resentment could build up between the two partners if the adequate discussion is not done leading to marital issues solely due to parenthood.
Disagreement is likely to happen, but both of you need to cooperate and compromise for the successful upbringing of your children. Learn to accept the way both of you treat your children and understand that both of you would only want the best for them.
3. Have more date nights and intimate moments
Couple time is important. With the arrival of a baby, many couples make that child the centre of their attention and place their partner in the backseat. This, however, is very dangerous for their marriage. All of us enjoy attention specifically from the one we love. Having a baby doesn’t mean you cannot enjoy the company of each other alone.
Couples are often seen missing their pre-baby lifestyles where they used to spend more time together, had date-nights and much more active sex life. Date nights are extremely important to keep your relationship alive. Hire a babysitter and go out for a romantic dinner. It also helps to put all baby related conversation aside and focus on each other when out, talk about work, gossip or any topic you used to talk about before having a child.
Moreover, sex too needs to be re-incorporated in your life to keep both of you attached and as deeply in love as before. Although you may feel guilty to not include your child in your activities, spending quality time together can bring both of you closer, reduce stress and strengthen your marriage.
4. Try to avoid financial issues
Money issues can also cause serious problems. With the baby’s addition to the family, expenses tend to increase. This means both of you need to compromise, give up some of your own needs and spend less money than you used to on activities such as going to the movies, buying expensive clothes, vacations, eating out, etc. Financial crisis can lead to stress and increased fights between the couple. One may lash out at the other for spending too much or being careless with their money.
Savings need to be made for a long time even before the baby comes and all expenses need to be planned out. Coming up with a household budget can be of great help to save up and keep track of all your money while avoiding any marriage and parenthood issues.
Marital difficulties can cause disruption in the entire family. A marriage going downhill will not only affect the spouses but also affect their parenting abilities causing the child to suffer. It is really important for both of them to help each other in raising their precious child. Instead of growing resentful to each other, try to understand their ways and communicate. Learn to accept each other flaws and remind yourself of all the things you love about your partner. Both of you need to work together for a happy family and a successful marriage.