Do you feel like you’re not getting the appreciation you deserve? Do you think you aren’t part of the conversation sometimes?
Being a step parent is definitely hard, not only due to obvious reasons but also because there’s a struggle of power.
The stepparent has to join the biological parent in raising his or her child.
Parental authority is based on affection, emotions, and understanding.
This relationship with the stepparent is weak since there is a brief shared history between both. Figuring out your role as a step parent can be tricky and mind-boggling. There can be conflict and with time, misunderstandings can build up to create problems within the family.
While there is no formula for becoming a good step parent, there are some useful tips that could guide you through the whole process. Let’s begin.
1. Try to know your stepchild
Get to know your stepchild before you make the decision of becoming a part of the household. You should make an effort to understand them. It is better to act like an understanding friend rather than a dominating figure.
It might be difficult at the start but it shows that you cherish the bond you have with the child. You can do daily activities together like walking the dog, going to a restaurant or simply reading a book.
This will cause your relationship with your stepchild to develop over a period of time.
Don’t feel uncomfortable if they feel shy at the start. Remember they’ve been through a lot and just want someone to understand how they feel.
You could help them with their homework, school projects or household chores. Also, you could ask your partner about their likes and dislikes.
2. Patience is a virtue
You should give your stepchild some time, instead of being forceful.
Time is the best healer.
It shows that you are making an effort to understand their state of mind. They might be as confused as you are. Trying to accept a new person in your life that too as a parent or a role model, is surely not easy. Also, don’t expect to fall in love instantly with your stepchild.
You’re a human too and it takes time.
If you become a part of their daily routine then slowly they will start trusting you. This will give them a chance to know you more and accept you. After they’ve become comfortable with you which is bound to happen gradually, then you can take on the parenting role.
Remember not to get too stressed during the process as it might affect the relationship you’re trying to build with the child. Let the child set the pace.
3. Laughter is the best medicine
The challenges of step parenting can be overwhelming.
Sometimes, you might be giving it your best but your attitude can put some people off including children. Everyone has a different nature but children might find it hard to grasp that. Don’t underestimate the power of laughter or a positive attitude.
Laughter and physical play should be the solution to any sort of tension.
Avoid creating serious situations or making an issue out of a small problem. You can play household games like hide n seek, cricket or even tennis.
Be the goofy or funny person they can laugh with. You don’t want to have a reputation for being too strict.
4. Don’t forget yourself
Lastly, always remember to take out time for yourself. You might need a place to relax and blow off some steam.
You can join an online group to express yourself, find a good book or even go on a trip to the spa! It depends on what can do to calm your nerves. As a person whos trying to take on the role of a parent, you will need your time to unwind and refuel! Good luck!