Dealing With Marriage Trouble After Baby

Rachael Pace, Author

Rachael Pace

Expertise: Mental health, Parenting

Rachael Pace inspires with motivational articles on loving partnerships. She encourages making room for love and facing challenges together.

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Updated: 29 Jan, 2023

Table of Contents

Change is inevitable and you will navigate a new daily rhythm together; lean on patience and schedule small moments to strengthen your bond.
You may not nurture your relationship like you used to, but you can rebuild closeness by scheduling couple time and honoring each other's needs.
Communicate with your partner about how you feel so both feel seen and you can deepen your connection.

Making a jump from the coupledom to baby-makes-three is exciting, nerve-racking and wonderful- all at the same time. It is also exhausting, worrisome and exasperating; a combination of such elements can be very toxic to the romantic relationship that helped you become a parent in the first place.

No one ever talks about what happens when the baby comes; people keep saying “Oh life feels complete” or “Oh, I just love this baby” but they never mention how their love life is or how everything with the daddy is going to change. No one thinks about dealing with marriage troubles when the baby comes.

No money! no time! and no sex; this is not how you picture your parenthood with the man that you love. Marriage trouble after baby can wreck the relationship between the spouses. However, this is what your life will become a baby, and if you don’t deal with marriage trouble after baby, then your love life is bound to go down the drain.

Parenthood is an amazing experience and being able to raise a baby along with your partner is just one of the perks of being a mother. Keep in mind that problems are bound to come; you will have to put in effort in your relationship to make it work, improve your love life and overcoming marriage troubles after baby. Some common marriage troubles after baby and how to deal with them are mentioned below. Keep on reading to find out!

The change

Change is absolutely unavoidable and more often than not unspeakable. If someone tells you that their life did not change then, they are lying. The crazy ride you go through from you and your partner to you, your partner and a little baby will change things. But this change is not always bad. Once you have a newborn baby, you will become very aware that your new life now revolves around this little human being who is helpless and constantly needs you. The baby will require undivided attention, round-the-clock care and you will have to accept that. So the parents should be cooperative with each other and give time to the baby to make the marriage work.

You may hate your partner for a while

Hate might be a very strong word here, but you may find yourself snapping at your partner more than you used to. This is due to the hormonal imbalance you go when you are pregnant and this change in hormones might not only make you snappy but can also make you feel lonely. You might resent them when they leave you to go to work, and this is where marriage anxiety can emerge. To solve such marriage troubles after baby, you should consider calming yourself down when you are cranky and take a deep breath instead of lashing out at your partner.

You may hate your partner for a while

You may not nurture your relationship like you used to

This is the most common and important issue that couples face after they have had a baby. All you can talk about before the baby comes is what to feed, how to clothe, daycare facilities, etc. However, most couples miss out on the part about where they would stand.

Suffice to say, things won’t be the same as before, and you might not be able to go out on a date due to your sore breast or the fact that your babysitter will not know how to deal with the baby’s colic. Nevertheless, it is important that you spend some time away from the baby and the constant crying.

Remind yourself that you are just a human and you need a break; spend some time with your partner and embark on a romantic getaway to nurture your relationship and bring back the spark.

Sex may become a distant memory

Once you give birth to a baby, there is no doubt that your sex life will probably take a nosedive temporarily. You will have to wait a couple of weeks after giving birth to have sex again. Due to exhaustion, stress, dryness, breastfeeding and mood swings, having good sex might even take months.

Sex may become a distant memory

Communicate with your partner and let him know how you feel

This issue is very common and must not be considered a threat to your marriage. If you don’t want to rush into having intercourse, then communicate with your partner and let him know how you feel. Make your partner understand that the lack of intimacy is not their fault and once you are ready, you can go back to being normal.

Marriage trouble after the baby is something that every couple undergoes, and this does not mean that you are headed for divorce. Just learn to be patient and supportive of each other, and soon you’ll make it out of this phase and love the human being you have produced. Don’t freak out and try to stay cooperative with each other. Stand beside each other during this journey, and you will make it through along with dealing with the marriage troubles effectively.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less