John Gottman believes that Love Maps are the fundamental and essential element required in making a marriage work in the long run. But what exactly is a Love Map?
A love map is a knowledge you have of your partner. Once you build a love map, you will have your partner in your grasp.
However, it is not that simple. The more you know about your significant other, the richer and better the love map will be.
So what goes inside the love map and how does it work? To find this out, keep on reading.
Love Map; what’s inside it
To build a love map, you will have to know about some common things and some uncommon things about your partner.
An example of what goes inside a love map includes:
- Name two of my best friends
- Name one of my hobbies
- What stresses am I facing in my life
- What is my favorite getaway spot
- What is my ideal job
- What is my favorite cuisine
Asking such questions will not only help you get greater insight into the lives of your partner but will also get a detailed look of your partner’s world. However, keep in mind that getting to know about your partner is an ongoing process and you must keep each other regularly; take time out with one another and catch up.
Remember the more you will know about each other the stronger the connection will be, and the more rewarding your relationship will turn out to be.
To summarize what love maps are made of; goals and dreams, fears and worries, favorite cities, holidays, food, etc. along with the major events happening in your partner’s life.
Keeping love maps updating is where couples lack behind
At the start of a relationship, it is very easy to build love maps. As time goes by it is very common that couples start taking one another for granted and avoid updating each other’s love maps or even ask one another about their day.
Stopping to care or having a disengagement might be the first sign of betrayal and can cause a perfect romance to die down.
Why are love maps important?
Couples who stay with one another for the long haul are in the relationship for a reason. The reason is not great sex, the power of will or lack of arguments but instead is because they like each other. The reason behind this likeness is how well both partners know each other.
Without a love map it can be difficult for you to know about your partner and if you don’t know them, you cannot love them.
Staying together without a love map can send a negative message; if you are not willing to take time out and know about your partner and communicate with them on a daily basis then how can you live together forever and ever.
Love maps are insurance
Love maps act as insurance for your marriage; a deep love map acts as a strong foundation for your marriage, and similarly, a weak one acts as a weak foundation.
Couples that have a more rich lovemap can cope better during stress events happening in their lives. A strong lovemap can strengthen the bond you have and similarly a weak one can cause you to lose direction when things get hard in your marriage.
Examples of love map
Mentioned below are a few examples of love map in a relationship:
1. Pillow talk
Sometimes bedroom conversations can be the perfect time for you to expand out your love map. During this time both partners are vulnerable and feel connected making it the perfect time to discuss each other’s life, worries, fears and more.
2. Deep romance
The movie Before Sunrise is the perfect example of deep romance love maps. The whole movie is based on the romance of magic of getting to know your partner like nobody has ever done.
Similarly, the movie Fargo is an example of a relationship without any Love Map. This movie sends a clear message that when you know nothing about your partner then “I love you” sounds meaningless.
To sum it up, why should anybody care about love maps and getting to know their partner better? Well, the answer to this is; the better you will know your partner the stronger and more solid your relationship will be.
The more you will ask for the partner, the more care you will get and the more care they will feel. The more you share, the deeper your relationship bond will get, and the higher quality of your relationship will get.