Sometimes, no matter how hard you may try, there may be issues in your marriage that you can’t work out on your own. Most couples who turn to marriage or intimacy counselling do so because they’re at a loss as to how to bring intimacy back to their marriage. For many, it goes far beyond just issues in the bedroom. Intimacy is a complex thing and understanding it can sometimes require the help of a professional.
Reasons to Consider Marriage or Intimacy Counseling
Whether you believe in counseling or not, the following are valid reasons to consider marriage or intimacy counseling:
You’re Considering an Affair
You don’t have to be a bad person to be tempted to stray. Problems in a marriage can take a toll on the best of us and for women; a desire for intimacy and affection is the leading cause of infidelity. Even just feeling tempted to cheat can lead to feelings of guilt and shame that can take an even further toll on the relationship. If you’re at this point, then seeking professional help can be a better way to go.
Your Partner Has Cheated
Getting past infidelity is difficult, but possible if both parties are willing to work at rebuilding trust. Seeking counseling to deal with an affair can help you not only learn how to rebuild trust but also discover and correct what led to the affair in the first place. Chances are that there’s more to it than you realize. A professional can help you get to the bottom of it.
You’re Arguing Your Relationship to Death
The odd argument is to be expected in a marriage, but if you’re constantly bickering and find that you’re having the same argument over and over, then it may be time for outside help. Counseling can help you with communication and teach you how to effectively deal with issues when you get to what appears to be an impasse.
You Feel like You’re Living with a Stranger
All too often, couples become disconnected and before they know it they’ve lost all intimacy and feel like they’re just sharing a space. If you feel that you’re more like roommates than husband and wife and feel that you’ve done all that you can to try to reconnect, then it may be time to seek intimacy counseling. A qualified therapist or intimacy coach may be able to help you get to the root of your issues and help you find your way back to each other.
You’re Contemplating Separation or Divorce
Unfortunately, divorce may well be the healthiest option for some couples. However, separation and divorce should be considered the last resort when all else has failed. It can be easy to become overwhelmed and blinded by problems in a marriage, but it’s important to remember that you had reasons for wanting to be together in the first place. If you’re at a loss and contemplating ending your marriage, intimacy counseling is worth a try to help you be absolutely certain that you’re doing the right thing. Ideally, counseling might give you a new perspective and help you work out those seemingly impossible issues.
Even if you feel that counseling is “not your thing” or a bunch of hokum, it may be worth considering if you’re feeling at a loss as to how to fix what’s wrong in your marriage.