If you’re a married person who has not experienced infidelity within your own relationship (and that’s great to hear), chances are, you have a family member or friend who has fallen prey to infidelity in marriage or is struggling in pursuit of surviving infidelity.
The unfortunate reality is that reportedly half of all marriages will experience an affair—whether it’s physical or emotional—during the course of it.
Cheating spouses are downright common
When marriages are strained and lack relationship satisfaction, infidelity often rears its ugly head in relationships. It would be helpful to know these glaring signs of marital infidelity to know if your partner is cheating.
The reasons for marital infidelity are about as vast and unique as the marriages themselves, but some of the top causes are poor communication, lack of intimacy and personal needs not being met.
Another big reason is that one or both individuals finding themselves feeling like their partner takes them for granted.
That’s why it’s so important to make the daily choice to make your husband or wife a top priority, to treat them as your best friend and to not ignore them when they share with you that they are unhappy, unsure or dissatisfied with something that’s going on within the relationship.
But what do you do if you do become the victim of infidelity? Is there a way that you can heal and your marriage can get past such a tragic situation of surviving infidelity?
If you’re curious about how to fix a marriage and surviving infidelity, here are 5 great tips to keep in mind while surviving infidelity.
1. Decide that you want to fight for your marriage
When you and your spouse promised to love one another until death parts you on your wedding day, it was a public declaration that no matter what, there’s a desire to maintain a powerful commitment and connection.
It’s true that if your partner cheated on you that they severely compromised their vows; however, that doesn’t mean that your marriage has to end.
By first making the decision to work through the aftermath of the affair, you will be amazed by the amount of strength and tenacity you will have in order to work together to surviving infidelity and making your union stronger.
2. Watch who you talk to and how much you say
It’s pretty common for the victim of an affair to want to seek validation from others; to hear people say that it’s OK to hurt, to not trust and to even be angry for a season.
But you have to remember that while your emotions may be temporary, the people you talk to may choose to never forgive your spouse. Plus, there’s a chance that they also may share what happened with other people.
That’s why it’s absolutely imperative that you are selective in who you talk to. Go to individuals who are trustworthy, who will support you and your marriage. Seek out individuals who have proven that they are able to offer truly sound advice on surviving infidelity.
3. See a marriage counselor
Ask anyone who’s been through an affair before about how to help your marriage survive infidelity and one of the things that they’re probably going to tell you is you should see a marriage counselor.
If you are in the pursuit of surviving infidelity, you are going to need to deal with a professional who is skilled, objective and able to provide unbiased counsel and effective solutions to getting your marriage on track.
4. Work on restoring intimacy
Recovering from infidelity is a slow and careful process. You may not be ready to have sex right away but intimacy is about more than what happens in the bedroom.
You both need to talk about your feelings if you are looking for advice on surviving infidelity. You both need to state what your needs are.
Surviving infidelity and healing from infidelity is possible but for that you both need some time away together to get a break from the daily demands of life so that you can focus on your relationship and leave marital infidelity far behind in the past.
Affairs or adultery in marriage tend to be huge warnings of brokenness within a marriage and more times than not, the brokenness is related to deep-rooted intimacy problems. Cultivating an emotional connection is paramount when it comes to the healing of your relationship.
5. Take it one day at a time
How to get over an affair and restore your feelings and love bond with your spouse?
Understanding and making peace with the four crucial infidelity recovery stages, is the key to surviving infidelity and resurrect yourself and your marriage.
These stages are a broad spectrum of discovering an affair, grieving over what you lost, accepting of what happened and reconnecting with yourself and others.
A wound, whether it’s physical or emotional, needs to heal. And the reality is that no matter how many things you do, some things can and will only get better with time.
For overcoming infidelity it is crucial you don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself or your spouse to get over the affair.
An important tip on how to deal with infidelity is to wisely and mutually decide to simply make the choice to remain together and then provide each other with the support that is needed to get through the healing process—one day at a time.
How to get over infidelity and a cheating spouse
How to forgive infidelity?
Firstly, it is crucial to remember that forgiving a cheating partner is a two-fold process.
You need to forgive the partner who is seeking forgiveness and is as keen as you to rebuild a healthy marriage by making the required sacrifices and investing in you and an equal partnership in marriage.
If you do that, although the affair will always be something that you will remember, the way that you feel about it next year will not be the exact way you feel about it today. Time healing all wounds is not just a popular saying.
It’s a reality that can be trusted.
Take your time. Focus on healing and getting over infidelity. Watch what happens. These steps are effective and mindful ways to surviving infidelity but only if you and your partner decide to shake the sting of infidelity in marriage.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Shellie Warren