How To Reconnect With Your Spouse In 7 Ways

Marriage.com Editorial Team

Expertise: Relationship & Marriage Advice

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Updated: 20 Jan, 2023

Touch more Physical touch releases happiness hormones and reopens emotional channels, so hold hands, hug longer, and kiss with intention to invite closeness.
Schedule regular connection Make date nights a priority by trying something new, dressing up, and planning moments that fuel anticipation and closeness.
Listen with care Active, undistracted listening validates your partner’s feelings and deepens trust, so put away devices and reflect back what you hear.

Marriage, or in many cases, parenting, can often take its toll on the sweetest of couples in relationships. Before you know it, the love you once had has withered away, and you and your partner are left wondering… What happened to us? Thankfully, these unwanted situations can be reversed, with enough diligent effort and planning. And it’s not rocket science, nor would it cost you an arm and a leg as we present to you ways on how to reconnect with your partner. Here’s how to reconnect with your spouse in 7 ways:

1) Touch more

The sense of touch releases endorphins and serotonin, the hormones of happiness. When married couples get too busy with their day-to-day, they often neglect this simple yet powerful daily ritual. Try holding hands more, hugging and kissing longer, and literally ‘feel’ the sense of touch the next time you embrace. These subtle gestures will invigorate the juices and senses you guys once had and help you in reconnecting with your spouse.

2) Schedule

Human beings love to procrastinate. If it isn’t important enough or life threatening, we’ll find some excuse to postpone it. Make an effort to actively schedule date nights with your spouse as way of reconnecting with your partner. Make it interesting, go somewhere new, dress up, try some new food and soon you’ll be able to break the routine and make these date nights the thing you look forward to the most in the week.

3) Reconnecting ritual

My brother and his wife had a very interesting ritual. They would sit down on the bed for 10 minutes before sleeping and look into each other’s eyes without breaking contact. Then, they would talk about how they felt during the day. You wouldn’t believe how this simple ritual for reconnecting helped them form such a strong bond together and help them actually have some “we” time together even if the days get super busy.

4) Show appreciation and gratitude

Sometimes we really take our spouses for granted for the things they do. Enough is enough. Start showing small signs of appreciation for everything. You can use little post-it notes, helping with the chores, or simply saying… “Thank you” when he/she does something for you. You can even buy surprise gifts to let your spouse know how much you appreciate and value him/her. You can always find ways to reconnect with your partner and the best part is that for the most part it can be done by just taking care of the simpler things.

5) Listen

I think human beings are essentially bad listeners. It could be due to our phones and electronic devices, or addiction to social media which cause our attention spans to be so low. The next time you have a conversation with your spouse, make an effort to listen carefully to everything he or she says. Especially the guys, pay attention! Actively listening and acknowledging your partner goes a long way in reconnecting at a deeper level.

6) Revisit the past

If you find yourself constantly wondering on how to reconnect in your marriage, One good way to reconnect with your spouse is to revisit an old memory you guys once shared. It could be where you first met, your first dance, your “song” or where you both shared an embarrassing moment. It will remind you of the love you guys once had and strengthen your determination to create new, loving memories as a married couple.

7) Extend foreplay

And last but not least, a tip related to sexual re-connection that can work like a charm if you are considering things to do with your spouse to reconnect. Extending foreplay is the easiest way to say: “This is not our routine thingy”. It’s also a great way to break the monotony of boring sexual rituals and produce more intense feelings during your sessions. It will also help you explore parts of your partner which have been neglected; stimulating and activating neural systems which have been left dormant for years. The quality of your lovemaking will affect your relationship at a subconscious level, as well as your ability to reconnect with your spouse.

I hope this article has given you some practical ideas, how to reconnect with your spouse. Remember, you have to put in effort to maintain a strong, sexually-polarized, exciting partnership. Furthermore, keep finding ways to reconnect with your spouse and make them feel valued and loved.

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Marriage.com Editorial Team Relationship & Marriage Advice

The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts... Read more to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice. Read less