Midlife crisis is a common life transition that hits a person emotionally.
It is not a healthy phase and causes you to react in life in a way that is not appropriate.
Midlife crisis triggers the desire to make changes in one’s life. This includes having the desire to get a new job, engaging in an affair, or purchasing a new car.
It is very common for people in their midlife crisis to desire a change in their marital status, which usually results in divorce.
Divorce is not an easy choice
Before you act on your midlife urges and make major decisions, it is very important to think about how these decisions can affect your future and the people around you.
Divorce is not an easy choice to make and throwing the towel in your marriage can affect you and your partner differently. A divorce is a decision that can completely change any happy household.
It can ruin your children’s future and ruin your partner’s trust in a relationship.
Before letting midlife crisis cause you to make such a huge decision, it is important that you are aware of the regrets that may follow.
Mentioned below are a few common midlife-crisis regrets one might experience during a divorce
1. Taking it too seriously
Midlife crisis makes a person evaluate where they are in life, and some destroy their lives out of fear of never being in a better place.
Believing that your midlife crisis is the end of the person you once were is the worst thing. It is unhealthy for the mental health of you and your spouse.
Assuming that divorce during a midlife crisis is your only option is a clear indication of the destruction of your marriage. Many people believe that the only way to feel better is to follow through with their feelings, which hardly have any logical foundation.
The feelings during a midlife crisis are the complete opposite of what you desire after the passing of the phase.
2. Too many decisions at once
Everyone has a list of things they want to achieve at certain stages of their lives. During the midlife crisis, you might be motivated to facilitate a complete overhaul.
Making too many decisions at once forces you to make rash decisions and choices which can have devastating effects in the near future. It is important to focus on self-improvement in a rational way rather than following the impulse motivated by crisis.
Focus on smaller decisions and changes rather than jumping to divorce assuming it will fix your worries.
A midlife crisis is a time when you feel like changing everything around you.
During such times, it is easy to get swept away by the idea that getting married was a mistake. However in most cases that is not true.
It is crucial to remember that the commitment you made in the past was a sound decision. It is important to guide yourself through a sound analysis of everything to ensure that the decisions you are making are right for you.
4. Emotions of loved ones
Mostly, a midlife-crisis divorce is due to the desire of one partner and not because of a failing marriage.
When asked divorcees what their biggest regret was, the most common answer was hurting their loved ones. You may find yourself wanting to destroy your old life and building a new one. The last thing you want to do is hurt anyone while on the temporary journey of self-discovery.
If you are sure to make changes in your life, the best option is the less destructive one.
Also watch: 7 Most Common Reasons for Divorce
5. Unrealistic wishes
Everyone is affected by midlife crisis differently.
Some people want to change a few things going wrong, and others just want a brand new life.
Unrealistic wishes only place a person in a position of feeling like a failure due to not being able to attain them. One should stay away from ideas that are not within your grasp. Those ideas force you to make terrible decisions.
It is of utmost importance to focus on positive changes and attainable goals. They help to keep you occupied and make you a better person.
Midlife-crisis regrets are harder to deal with post-divorce
Midlife crisis is not an easy thing to deal with.
As you start to experience it for yourself, it gets difficult to differentiate between right and wrong choices.
If you feel like divorce is right around the corner then think it through and make sure you are not leaving yourself with regrets. Otherwise, the heartbreak itself can be very difficult to deal with.
Divorce is not the answer to unhappiness.
Taking responsibility, communicating and trusting your spouse helps you realize the true answer. Before taking harsh decisions, it is important to think it out, talk it out and figure it out.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.