17 Unusual Sexual Behaviors of Narcissists

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Draven Porter, Author

Draven Porter

Expertise: Marriage & Family Life Advice

Esteemed relationship writer Draven Porter explores human connection complexities. With a psychology background, his writing offers powerful insights and thoughtful analysis.

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Updated: 20 Jan, 2025

Table of Contents

Recognize manipulation patterns and set clear boundaries to protect your emotional safety while inviting honest, mutual trust.
Prioritize open communication about needs and consent, choosing vulnerability that deepens connection rather than exploiting insecurity.
Seek support and care together by building healthy habits, boundaries, and professional help if needed, so both partners feel seen and connected.

Narcissists often exhibit unique and unconventional behaviors in many aspects of their lives, including their sexual relationships. These behaviors can range from peculiar to deeply unsettling, reflecting their overarching personality traits.

Understanding the weird things narcissists do sexually helps in recognizing their patterns and protecting oneself from potential emotional harm. Narcissists may use sexual intimacy as a tool for manipulation, often prioritizing their needs over their partner’s.

Exploring the weird habits of narcissists and the things narcissists do in sexual contexts reveals a complex interplay of power, control, and self-centeredness that is characteristic of their interactions.

How do narcissists trick you?

Narcissists, especially the covert kind, are skilled in subtly manipulating those around them, often in ways that are not immediately apparent.

Their tactics include exploiting vulnerabilities, feigning vulnerability themselves, and using charm to win trust and influence. In the realm of narcissistic personality disorder and sexuality, these individuals may use intimacy as a tool for control, often disregarding the emotional and physical needs of their partners.

The weird things covert narcissists do can range from emotional gaslighting to creating an illusion of closeness, all designed to maintain a facade of normalcy while exercising control and fulfilling their own needs.

17 weird things narcissists do sexually that you should know about

Narcissism, a complex personality disorder, often manifests in unusual behaviors in various aspects of life, including sexual relationships. Understanding these behaviors can be crucial for recognizing and managing interactions with narcissists.

Here are some weird things narcissists do sexually, providing insight into their mindset and tactics.

1. Overemphasis on physical appearance

Narcissists often place excessive importance on physical attractiveness, both in themselves and their partners. This obsession can lead to unrealistic expectations and pressure in sexual relationships.

2. Using sex as a tool for manipulation

Narcissists may use sexual intimacy as a means to manipulate and control their partners. Understanding why narcissists want to control you is key to recognizing this behavior.

3. Lack of emotional intimacy

Despite being sexually active, narcissists struggle with genuine emotional intimacy. Their relationships are often superficial, focusing more on physical gratification than on building a deep, emotional connection.

4. Entitlement to the partner’s body

A sense of entitlement leads narcissists to believe they have unrestricted access to their partner’s body. They often ignore boundaries and consent, prioritizing their desires over their partner’s comfort and safety.

5. Gaslighting and sexual coercion

Gaslighting, a common tactic used by narcissists, involves manipulating someone into questioning their reality. In a sexual context, this could mean coercing a partner into certain activities or making them feel guilty for not complying.

6. A constant need for validation

Narcissists often use sexual encounters as a means to reinforce their self-worth and ego. In their view, being desired and admired sexually by their partner is a crucial source of validation. They might constantly seek compliments and assurances about their attractiveness, prowess, or desirability.

LMHC Grady Shumway points out,

This need for validation can make intimacy feel one-sided, with the narcissistic partner focusing more on receiving praise than on fostering mutual connection or satisfaction.

7. Projecting fantasies

Narcissists may have specific sexual fantasies or expectations and often insist that their partners conform to these scenarios. This projection is not just about fulfilling sexual desires but also about asserting control and dominance.

8. Infidelity and risky behaviors

A hallmark of narcissistic sexuality is the pursuit of excitement and variety, often leading to infidelity and engaging in risky sexual behaviors.

Narcissists may view sex as a game where the aim is to conquer and collect experiences. This drive for variety can stem from their deep-seated need for attention and validation.

9. Emotional withdrawal as punishment

If a narcissist feels slighted or if their partner fails to meet their expectations, they might use emotional withdrawal as a form of punishment. This can include withholding affection or sex and making the partner feel unwanted or unloved.

Young couple having conflicts

10. Lack of concern for partner’s pleasure

Narcissists are often primarily focused on their own satisfaction in sexual encounters. They may show little interest in their partner’s pleasure or preferences. This self-centered approach can leave partners feeling neglected, unsatisfied, or even used.

11. Hypersexuality or sexual disinterest

If you are looking for what weird things do narcissists do, observe their sexual behavior.

Depending on what feeds their ego, narcissists can swing between hypersexuality and a complete disinterest in sex. This shift often depends on how they perceive the role of sex in maintaining their self-image.

12. Blaming a partner for sexual issues

Narcissists often refuse to take responsibility for any problems in the relationship, including in the bedroom. If issues arise, they are quick to blame their partner, never acknowledging their role or shortcomings. This blame-shifting protects their fragile ego from facing any faults or inadequacies.

13. Using sexual past against the partner

Narcissists may use a partner’s sexual history as a tool for shaming or manipulation. They might bring up past relationships or experiences during arguments or use this information to make their partner feel guilty or inferior.

This tactic serves to exert control and maintain the upper hand in the relationship.

14. Unrealistic expectations

Narcissists often have unrealistic and demanding expectations regarding sexual performance and frequency.

These expectations can put immense pressure on their partners, leading to anxiety and dissatisfaction. The narcissist’s inability to empathize means they often don’t understand or care about the strain this puts on their partner.

Grady Shumway states,

These high demands can create a cycle of frustration and disappointment, as the narcissistic partner may blame their partner for not meeting these unattainable standards, further eroding the relationship.

15. Sensitivity to criticism

Narcissists are notoriously sensitive to criticism, and this extends to feedback about their sexual performance. Even constructive or mild criticism can be perceived as a severe slight against their ego, often leading to defensive or aggressive reactions.

Young couple having conflicts

16. Sexual entitlement

Many narcissists believe they are inherently entitled to sex, regardless of their partner’s desires, feelings, or readiness. This entitlement is rooted in their overarching sense of superiority and their belief that others exist to cater to their needs.

17. Emphasis on sexual conquests

For narcissists, sexual relationships are often less about connection and more about conquest and validation. They may boast about their sexual exploits as a way to gain admiration and envy from others, reinforcing their desired self-image of being irresistible and superior.

FAQs

Narcissistic behavior in relationships, especially in sexual contexts, often raises many questions about their motivations, capabilities for love, and the nature of their interactions.

Here’s a look at some frequently asked questions to understand better the weird things narcissists do sexually and what narcissists want sexually.

How does a narcissist seduce you?

Narcissists often use charm, flattery, and apparent confidence to seduce potential partners. They can be very charismatic and alluring at first, making grand gestures or promises.

Seduction is part of the weird things narcissists do sexually, as they often use it to draw in their partners before revealing their true selves. It’s a calculated move to ensure they are admired and desired, fitting into what narcissists want sexually.

Can a narcissist genuinely love someone?

Narcissists’ understanding of love is often skewed by their self-centeredness and lack of empathy. While they may feel a form of attachment or affection, it’s typically overshadowed by their needs and desires. Their love can be conditional and based more on what their partner can offer them rather than genuine, selfless affection.

Can a narcissist fall in love permanently?

Permanent love requires a level of emotional depth and empathy that narcissists often lack. Their feelings can be intense but fleeting, as their focus is primarily on their needs and desires.

Their ability to maintain long-term, loving relationships is complicated by these limitations, making permanent love challenging.

Are all sexual acts by a narcissist manipulative?

Not all sexual acts by narcissists are consciously manipulative. However, their tendency to prioritize their needs and use sex as a means of control or self-validation can often make their sexual acts inherently self-serving.

This is part of the weird things narcissists do sexually, as their behaviors often have underlying motives.

Can a narcissistic person ever have a healthy sexual relationship?

While it’s challenging, a narcissist can have a healthy sexual relationship if they’re aware of their tendencies and actively work towards change. This requires a significant effort to understand and modify their behaviors and often professional help.

Without this awareness and effort, the weird things narcissists do sexually and what they want sexually can hinder the development of a healthy, mutual relationship.

Conclusion

Understanding the sexual behaviors of narcissists, including the weird things they do sexually and what they want sexually, is crucial in navigating relationships with them.

While challenges exist due to their personality traits, awareness, and professional guidance can lead to healthier dynamics. However, it’s essential for partners to recognize their own needs and boundaries in these relationships.

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Draven Porter Author

Draven Porter is an esteemed relationship writer who delves deep into the complexities of human connection. With a background in psychology, Draven’s writing is known for its powerful insights and thoughtful analysis. When not... Read more writing, Draven can be found exploring his passion for music and attending concerts. Draven’s unique perspective on relationships is rooted in his fascination with different cultures and he enjoys immersing himself in new experiences through travel and trying out exotic cuisines. Read less