Are You Dating a Narcissistic Sociopath?

Rachael Pace, Author

Rachael Pace

Expertise: Mental health, Parenting

Rachael Pace inspires with motivational articles on loving partnerships. She encourages making room for love and facing challenges together.

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Updated: 6 May, 2023

Table of Contents

Recognize excessive self-importance and lack of empathy by noticing patterns and choosing to protect your emotional safety while seeking support to stay connected.
Set healthy boundaries and resist codependency by prioritizing mutual respect, inviting honest conversations, and choosing actions that deepen trust.
Know when to leave harmful dynamics and protect your family, and seek help to create safety and space so you can rebuild connection when you are ready.

All of us love ourselves to a certain point. It is unhealthy to be entirely selfless. But on the other hand, there are people who love themselves too much.

It is considered a personality disorder. It is one of the several types of disorders, and this one happens when there’s an excessive sense of self-importance resulting in the lack of empathy for others. It’s similar to high-ranking career government officials.

It’s hard to draw a line between self-esteem and Narcissistic personality disorders (NPD). After all, everyone likes attention, and are sensitive to judgment and criticism.

Related Reading: Am I Dating a Sociopath Quiz

Where do we draw a line between normal and excessive?

The definition of a narcissistic sociopath is too subjective and largely depends on the word “excessive.”

In a competitive world, every person needs confidence and self-worth to succeed. It takes a certain level of selfishness to beat rivals in any venture. It takes a lot of self-belief to breakthrough mediocrity and rise above the rest. That is no different from textbook definitions of narcissistic sociopath traits. So is it really just about “excessive” self-love or is it something else?

Related Reading: Sociopath vs Narcissist

What is a narcissistic sociopath?

If someone with “excessive” self-worth and lacks empathy for others while being “overly” sensitive to criticism is a narcissistic disorder, what makes it different from the Friedman/Rosenman Type A Personality? According to those psychologists, Type A personalities are very competitive, impatient, and tend to overreact. They are highly aggressive and show a lack of compassion. It sounds like the same thing to me.

Type A personality behavior puts them at high risk or stress and other health problems, but only Type A personalities succeed in competitive environments. While one is shown as a normal type of achievement-oriented personality, NPD is described as destructive behavior.

To get a clearer answer, we need to look at the dynamics of their relationship with others.

Related Reading: Living With a Sociopath

Dating a narcissistic sociopath

The difference between a narcissistic sociopath and a Friedman/Rosenman Type A personality is how they treat people close to them. Michael Jordan is a clear example of a Type A personality, He is a trash-talking basketball superstar, that even claims he is the best who ever played the game (at the time). He works hard, highly competitive, and bulldozes through difficulties head-on.

However, his fans, teammates, and even his court rivals love him. He is a gentleman off the court and shows respect to his peers, his seniors, and trusts his team. A narcissistic sociopath will never do that. They do not have an on and off button. They do not take responsibility for losses and teammates always receive a form of abuse. They also take all the glory and do not like sharing the spotlight.

It’s easy to notice when you are dating a narcissistic sociopath. They will never admit their mistakes and believes the world revolves around them.

Related Reading: Can Sociopaths Love

Type A personalities are aggressive and confident, but they do not believe they are Demigods. They channel their aggressiveness to improve themselves and listen to others. They are willing to admit their failures and share their achievements with others.

It’s easy to spot narcissistic sociopath abuse when things go wrong. They are quick to push the blame onto others and personally dish out punishments to relieve their frustrations. While Type A personalities spend their time figuring out how to do better next time, Narcissistic sociopaths wallow in frustration and condemn others.

A relationship with a narcissistic sociopath shows true colors when they treat you as their partner. If you are always at fault and they consider you more of a possession than a partner.

Related Reading: How to Deal With a Sociopath

How to deal with a narcissistic sociopath

In the old days, publicly beating the living hell out of bullies is an admirable trait, today it is frowned upon, even if you have to defend your own life. The problem with narcissists is that they do not consider you an equal and will not listen to what you have to say.

If you are married to a sociopath, then you have learned how to deal with it in your own way, be careful not to turn your marriage into a codependent relationship and turn your home into a dangerous environment for you and your children.

That aside, before marrying someone, I’m assuming you dated each other for at least two years. We at Marriage.com are not judging anyone’s preference in marriage partners, we are only here to give advice when needed.

Related Reading: How to Spot a Sociopath

If you just started dating, here are some red flags to know if you are dating a narcissistic sociopath

They do not say sorry
They are always late and not embarrassed about it
They are verbally abusive when you do something wrong
They get jealous of you when you do something right
They get mad when you criticize them
You spend most of your time trying to appease them
You are always wrong
Your pet name is literally for pets like “pooch“
Your awakening your inner masochist in bed
You don’t feel valued in the relationship

If you score at least a five in that checklist, congratulations you are dating a narcissistic sociopath. Do not expect them to change when you marry them. A lot of women with their protective motherly instinct believe they can correct a man’s behavior once they marry them. This is a myth and a dangerous one at that.

Related Reading: Can a Sociopath Change

The problem with a lot of narcissistic sociopaths is they threaten you and your loved ones if you leave them. A lot of them go through with that threat. However, the moment your relationship steps at that zone, it’s your cue to get out.

It’s easy to annoy a narcissistic sociopath, if you do it enough, they will throw you out. Take that chance and leave. Make them believe they are dumping you, it will prevent them from taking vengeful actions in the future. Do not commit infidelity or anything close to it to gain their disfavor, a lot of them may react violently when their world fell apart in such a manner.

You are walking in a minefield and treat it that way, make them hate you enough to “leave” you, but not angry enough and get them to take revenge.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less