How important is it to know your spouse’s past? It looks like pretty important since a common formula during the marriage ceremony is to “speak now or forever hold your peace” – witnesses are required to share their objections in case something from the bride’s or groom’s past could interfere with their marriage. Marriage proceedings have begun to eliminate this ritual, yet knowing your spouse’s past remains important. What about you? How well do you know your spouse’s past?
1. Do you know what your partner is so insecure about?
A. Yes, we have discussed it
B. We have discussed it once
C. I might have an idea
D. I don't think I am sure
2. Can you describe how your partner's past life was?
A. Anytime
B. Easily
C. I think I will do okay
D. I don't think so
3. Is there anything that terrifies you about your partner's past?
A. No
B. Not that I can think of
C. I don't think I know enough
D. I don't know anything like that
4. Do you know if there was any past serious relationship in your partner's life?
A. Yes, I do know all about it
B. We had that talk a long time ago
C. I don't think they are comfortable discussing it
D. No, we haven't discussed it
5. Does your partner regret anything from their past?
A. They did, but they are healed from that
B. Yes, but we don't discuss much about it
C. I think so
D. They never told me
6. Are you aware of your spouse’s sexual past?
A. It doesn't matter that much
B. Yes
C. Not really
D. Not at all and I think my partner is hiding something from me
7. Does your spouse ever shut down for no reason?
A. No
B. Sometimes, and I think it has something to do with the past
C. I haven't noticed
D. Yes, and I realize the cause could be the past
8. Has your spouse talked to you about their past?
A. Yes, without worries
B. A bit
C. No really
D. No, and my partner gets nervous when I bring this topic into our discussions
9. What is your reaction when you find out something surprising about your spouse’s past?
A. My partner didn't know me when it happened
B. Who would have thought...
C. Oh, no!
D. I knew it!
10. What is your opinion of a person’s past?
A. Past has made them who they are.
B. You cannot change past, so why think about it?
C. Past can affect future.
D. Tell me your past and I'll tell you who you are.
11. What do you know about your spouse’s high school sweetheart?
A. A lot of information
B. Only the most important pieces of information
C. Not much
D. Nothing
12. What do you know about your spouse’s first sexual experience?
A. The most important details
B. Just what I need to know
C. Just their age
D. Nothing
13. Do you think someone’s past should stay private?
A. No, it's not a big deal for me
B. I am not sure
C. Yes
D. People shouldn't have that kind of past
14. Is your spouse’s past ruining your relationship?
A. No, because I know everything about it and I am open-minded
B. No, and we haven't talked much about it
C. It did cast a shade on our relationship
D. Yes, it is absolutely doing it
15. What is important to know about your spouse’s past?
A. Their dreams and aspirations when they were younger
B. What they did for a living, stuff like this
C. Who they used to hang out with
D. What mistakes they did
