How to Achieve Success in Marriage?
Marrying the man or woman of your dreams feels like the best decision you have ever made, until the finances get crazy and the reality that raising kids is not as easy as you imagined it starts sinking in. When things get a little too rough on some days, you might think that this is the worst decision you have ever made. But don’t make the mistake of packing your bags and leaving everything behind. Calm down. Every married couple deals with problems that you may think only you and your partner are experiencing.
For the sake of love, we have here a list of marriage advice to help you achieve happiness in marriage.
1. Never go to bed angry
You have probably heard of this before and that’s because this is really a good marriage advice, especially for those who are just starting with their married lives. Once you get into the habit of openly talking about your issues and confronting them instead of letting it linger on, a healthy relationship will follow. Do not go to bed, wake up the next day and start pretending that your husband or wife does not exist. He/she is your lifelong partner, not your college roommate.
2. Don’t try to change your spouse
Before you have decided to get engaged and be married, I am pretty sure you know most, if not all, of your partner’s habits and personality traits. So he does not close the door of the comfort room when he is peeing. She does not wash her hair and dresses up in sweats for days when she’s PMS-ing. You knew all these, have accepted and loved your partner for who he or she really is. So why try to change him or her? Unless he’s become an alcoholic and abusive partner, there really is no point in stressing out on some of his annoying habits.
3. Marriage is made up of two people. No more, no less
I’m not talking about a third-party. This is not about infidelity. It’s time to talk about people like the in-laws, her best friends, and your cousins. Back when you were dating, these people were a part of your relationship. They used to give advice to you or your partner on how to deal with each other. But things are different now. There are certain issues that should remain just between the two of you. Getting other people involved in your personal affairs is dangerous. They have the tendency to pick sides, give biased judgments, and instead of bringing solution to the problem, they could make it worse.
4. Keep the fire burning
Months or years into the marriage, especially when the honeymoon stage is over, you may start to feel bored. Some days you will feel a little bit paranoid and start to think he’s not interested in you anymore. Perhaps he stopped trying to look good for you or makes you feel neglected, like he’s disinterested in your life. On other days, you will feel sad about the changes and you end up crying because he doesn’t give you flowers anymore or stopped writing you cute little notes every 12th of the month. You know what I would do? Confront him! Tell him you want to go out on a date. Tell him you wanna see a guidance counsellor. Simply ask him what’s wrong. Just don’t let the fire burn out. If you feel like things are heading south, act against it before it becomes too late to even try.
5. Keep on dating
Not other people, okay? That is a big no-no. What I mean is, keep on dating your partner. Marriage should be a continuation of courtship. Take him or her out. Try new restaurants. Visit new places. Find new hobbies together. Your partner is now your best friend. So go and have fun from time to time.
6. Learn some new “moves”
Yes. The sex can still get better. Step up your game! Discover the magic of kamasutra. Heck, watch porn and learn some moves! Never get stuck on the same missionary position every night. You don’t want to rock your baby to sleep in the middle of coitus! Sex is very important in marriage and I could not stress that enough. Find time for some “sexy time” and when you do, give him or her the best performance of your life.
Marriage is not for everybody. Lucky are the ones who found love and never lost it again. So be patient, understanding and loving towards each other because there are actually people who spend their lives alone, solitary drinking in bars, only to come home to a house full of pets to give meaning to their life. But you two have each other. Appreciate that. Marriage is the best decision you have ever made. Never doubt it.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.