What is Sex Therapy: Benefits, How it works, and More

Milica Markovic

Milica Markovic, Other

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Milica Markovic has graduated from the Faculty of Philosophy with a degree in Clinical Psychology. She has 7 years (and counting) of Psychotherapy and Coaching education... Read more

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Updated: 3 Aug, 2023

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Create a safe, honest space that lets couples share fears and desires, deepen trust, and grow closer with compassionate listening.
Seek professional guidance together to help both partners feel seen, ease anxiety, and strengthen emotional connection through shared goals and support.
Practice compassionate, actionable steps with small, consistent exercises at home to build intimacy and show you value each other, turning insights into lasting closeness.

It represents a form of individualized conversational counseling designed to assist couples and individuals deal with sexual challenges, like performance anxiety and relationship problems.

In essence, it addresses the physical or mental causes which impair intimate relationships.

What is sex therapy?

Considering that the issues related to sex and sexuality are still not as openly discussed as other health issues, the recurrent question is –

How does sex therapy work in the beginning?

It is ordinarily conducted in a sex therapist’s office
The environment is professional and safe
Honesty is encouraged
Clients can come alone, or with one or more partners

Anxiety is normal and expected to happen, as being open about sex would frequently come as a challenging and delicate thing to carry out. It takes courage to speak up about sexual challenges due to many factors.

Often several sessions pass until the client feels liberated enough to discuss sexual issues in depth.

This form of therapy is practiced by social workers, licensed psychotherapists, and sex counselors, who had advanced education and training relevant to sexual and relationship health.

A sexual therapist will have a certification, proving they can practice talking therapy on topics of intimacy and sexual dysfunction.

Types of sex therapy

Over the past half a century, this form of therapy has expanded and flourished considerably.

In the 19th century, the focus on sexual behavior was regarded as deviant or pathological.

In the 20th century, the focus was on demystifying and destigmatizing sexuality, and today the focus is on fully understanding normative sexual functions and increasing sexual pleasures.

This kind of therapy is unique, but it includes elements of other psychotherapeutic modalities such as:

Therefore, this therapy can resemble more or less some of the other modalities depending on the extent the therapists including practices from those. Most often the therapist would practice an integrative approach combining multiple practices and their techniques.

Every so often, the issue may have a root in a medical condition.

In this scenario, professionals will recommend a visit to a physician who can do a full check-up and prescribe drugs to resolve a dysfunction. It is not rare for a physician and a therapist to work hand in hand on eradicating the causes for sexual and relationship impairment.

How does sex therapy work?

You are probably wondering what happens in sex therapy and what does a sex therapist do?

Through sex counseling, you can address concerns about:

Erotic desire and arousal
Sexual interests or orientation
Erective or premature ejaculation issues
Anorgasmia
Painful intercourse
Intimacy issues
Unwanted sexual fetishes

But what does a sex therapist do when there is fear, shame or resistance?

First, the therapist helps a client feel encouraged to share and develops a space for open discussions.

What a safe space means can differ and the therapist takes time to understand it for each of the clients.

The licensed therapist will verbally go through exercises with you and almost always assign you a “homework” and sex therapy techniques you can practice yourself or with your partner.

A therapist will likely provide some useful materials, which are effectively addressing the type of issue present like sex therapy videos and sex therapy books.

Uses of sex therapy

To find out about the applications of this form of therapy, the common question that arises is –What is sex therapy and how does it work?

There are many reasons why a person would choose to look for counseling.

It is most often recommended for anybody whose life quality is affected by:

Sexual problems irrelevant of age, gender, background or sexual orientation
Intimacy problems in a marriage or a relationship
Teens confused over their sexuality or concerned about intimate matters

After undergoing a couple of sessions of the therapy, some clients will realize that short-term support from a sex therapist will be sufficient for them to overcome the issues. Some will, of course, decide to take a long-term approach, depending on their particular needs.

Concerns and limitations of sex therapy

Considering sex is a controversial subject, although much less today, personal, political and religious views can be an obstacle to help-seeking.

For many, it is still obscure as to what is a sex therapist and how they operate?

Sex therapists are thoroughly trained to keep professionalism at a high level and understand the issue, cause and potential road to resolution.

Given that the effectiveness of the therapy primarily depends on the quality of the therapeutic relationship, motivation of the therapy client and the capacity of the therapist to help the client, you should take time to select the right person for you.

As in any other therapy, there is potential for a period where the anxiety will rise and you will feel worse before you feel better. During that time, uncovering the reasons behind the problem can be daunting, but rewarding as well.

How to prepare for sex therapy?

Presumably one of the most crucial elements of successful treatment is selecting a suitable therapist for you. For this you need to:

Conduct the research beforehand
Check certifications, experience, and testimonials of the therapist of choice
look for another therapist if you feel uncomfortable or it just does not “click”

How much does sex therapy cost?

If you Google, there are various resources online aiding you to find the sex therapist near you and get informed on how much it costs.

Depending on location, and experience of the person, online or in-person setting, the price range for sexual therapy can go from $50 to $200 an hour.

For online sessions, it is closer to the lower margins of the mentioned range.

Check with your health insurer whether they will cover for the expenses fully, partially or none at all.

Once the first session is scheduled, check with your future therapist if there’s anything they would recommend to do before the first session. You can “go with the flow” on the session or can think about the concerns you will talk about, goals and desired outcomes of sexual counseling.

What is the information you are willing to share instantly, and what do you want to keep to yourself for now?

It can be good to deal with logistical matters first, such as:

How to find your therapist’s office
Should you take a number, knock or wait to be called in?
How much will the therapy cost?
How do you plan to pay for it?

If you sort this out ahead of time, you will make your first session less stressful and be more focused on the work ahead.

What can you expect from sex therapy?

Many, primarily those who are considering finding a sex counselor, are wondering what to expect from sex therapy.

The majority of sex therapists meet with clients on a recurring weekly or biweekly basis in an office.

If you have tried searching for “sex therapy near me” or “sex therapist near me” online but are finding it challenging to commute you can discuss with your therapist about having your sessions over video chat.

Many clients enjoy the ability to remain in the office they deem secure and comfortable while speaking about issues they are uncomfortable with. Video chat is also an excellent option if finding a sex therapist near you is not an option.

Before, or during the first session, your therapist will:

Ask for a specific background of the situation or even ask you to fill out a form
They might share with you how your collaboration will be structured
They will discuss a suitable approach including techniques
They may ask you to undergo a sex addiction test, if required

Sexual counseling can be quite action-oriented, and your therapist will assign you sex therapy exercises you can perform yourself or with your partner.

Your therapy can be brief or long term, depending on your preference and the challenge you are facing. You can also do it alone or try with couples sex therapy.

When deciding whether to go to the individual or couples therapy it is useful to know what is sex therapy for couples good for.

Couples’ sexual counseling in a safe environment will give voice to unexpressed feelings, hidden traumatic or on the contrary, arousing experiences and assist couples to communicate better sexually.

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Milica Markovic Other

Milica Markovic has graduated from the Faculty of Philosophy with a degree in Clinical Psychology. She has 7 years (and counting) of Psychotherapy and Coaching education (both Transactional Analysis and Psychology of Personal Constructs) and experience in working with clients. Throughout her career,... Read more she has had remote clients around the world facing various personal, academic, or professional challenges. She finds her primary duty is to establish a trusting environment in which clients can feel safe enough to discuss anything that might be troubling them and grow closer to their goals. She believes that whether you are experiencing a personal, relationship related, or professional challenge, the journey to surpassing it can be made easier with the right help by your side. Milica is also a strong advocate of lifelong learning and continuous improvement. Read less