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The Good Bad and Ugly: Rebound Relationships

Rebound Relationships

Is this a rebound or short relationship until “the one” comes along? That is the question people should consider before dating a person who is recently divorced, widowed, or single from a long term or serious relationship. If you ask a person if they are on the rebound, they will tell you they are not because they may not know it.  You are responsible for assessing the situation before entering into it.

Each rebound relationship is different based on the needs of the rebounder.  Some people want wild exciting romance, some want to take it slow with no commitment, and some want to get married right away.  It is wise to take a minute to understand the newfound single status, because if you do not, you may get hurt and be on the rebound yourself.

1. How do you know if you are in a rebound relationship?

You are in a rebound relationship if the person compares you and all activities to the lost love.  For example, “My husband loved this restaurant. We came here often.”  There is nothing wrong with the statement but it shows she is thinking of her late husband. When she should be thinking about you. As an adult, she knows that she is on a date for romance. She should be emotionally mature enough to curtail her conversation to be appropriate to the current situation.She should have offered to go to some other restaurant.

There is no faster way to kill an emotional intimate moment than bringing up someone you were in love with.

She is on the rebound. Get her number and promise to call in about six months. Unless you don’t really care because she’s hot. Be careful about dating her because you can’t measure up to an imagination. The truth be told her husband maybe was going to divorce her before he died. Don’t write her off because widowers usually remarry within a year because they are comfortable being in a relationship.

Divorced people are fun to date but are classic rebounders.

They are out to prove that there is nothing wrong with them and go overboard to impress.  If you are interested, play along but don’t take them seriously for a while, no matter what they say.  This one you will have to play by ear.  Ask a lot of questions and get to meet their friends so you get both sides of the story, discreetly and respectfully of course. Divorce people go through all types of emotions, especially if kids are involved.  One moment they want to play the field another time they are tired of the ups and downs and want to get married. To be fair to yourself, take it slow and read the signs. For example, you meet a nice man and on the first date, he wants you to meet his friends, family, kids and dog to prove to them he has another love. Be careful because this could be a tactic for the ex too. It can get messy. He’s on the rebound.

Recently single people like to play by rules to feel safe and acceptable. They are on the rebound. If there aren’t any rules, then they will tell you what they are based on things they want to avoid in the future. If you date a recently single person, it is best to have a set of dating rules to help them get back into the swing of things and feel comfortable dating again. Get use to explaining and have lots of patience.  Make sure the recently singled is not still “friends” with the ex. If he or she is still friends with the ex and they do not have children together, then your friend could be on the rebound.  Otherwise, it may just be worth it.

2. What are the benefits of a rebound relationship?

The old saying “To get over a love is to get another one.” Dating will raise a person’s self-esteem and build confidence motivating the person to fall in love again.”Not to mention the fact that if a person is careful they can have fun by opening their options to people who are different from them. Dating people for a short period of time who are different from you can open your life to new friendships, ideas, and cultures.  People usually date people with different personalities just to have a new experience: different nationalities, large age differences of older and younger or different social status–opposites attract.

Altogether, rebound relationships are short relationships entered into after the end of a long term committed relationship or marriage. Rebound relationships are not labeled rebound relationships because the rebounder does not know that he or she is on the rebound. There are some benefits of a rebound relationship:  raised self-esteem by meeting new people, practice to get into the swing of things and just to have some fun. One night stands have always existed for several reasons and do not constitute as a rebound relationship.  


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