In ancient times there was a legend of the Albino Deer. It’s a story about loving yourself and accepting yourself as you are.
It was said that any hunter who could touch the doe would be blessed for life and always have successful hunting, his family would never go hungry.
But try as they might, no hunter could ever touch the deer. In fact, they could scarcely get near her.
She could sense them as they even thought to approach her. To them, she appeared to be almost a ghost.
The story of Albino Deer
One day a wise young hunter came. He intended to touch the deer. He came to her forest, and in his pocket, he had lumps of sugar.
He searched for the place where his heart told him to wait for her. He found a clearing. A large circle where the trees were well back, and he sat in the middle.
He took out the sugar and held it in his palm. And there he sat.
For three days, he waited. On the third day, he saw a faint white wisp behind the trees, just like a ghost. His heart leaped, but he asked himself to be calm.
The Albino Deer had appeared and, hidden behind the trees, she circled him and observed him for three days more.
Then, on the third day, she came out from behind the trees into the clearing and circled him from a distance for three more days, sometimes closer and sometimes farther.
Still, the young hunter did not stir. He watched her like he had watched the moon, with a loving gaze, ever offering his sugar.
He could feel her move nearer and farther, like the tide of an ocean. He could feel himself fatigue, withdraw, and then regain himself anew.
There was a draw, a pulsation, an invisible motion between them, and an expanse that was a part of something vast and new and very old.
Finally, the day arrived!
On the third day then, she approached him. Inches away, she was close enough to touch. He did not stir but watched her openly.
She sniffed him, circled him, and, for three more days, they read each other’s energy and made a silent dance, together and apart. They stared into each other’s eyes. They saw love and fear there.
Then, on the third day, the Albino Deer bent down her head and took the sugar from his palm. When she did, her soft nose touched his hand.
He was blessed, he knew, at that moment, not only with bountiful hunting but, blessed by his trust in the invisible realm, which bestowed upon him the wealth of her trust. He knew he had stepped through a door and found his own greatness.
He rose and walked into the wood, and she was by his side. He hunted like he had never done before.
He knew right where the game was, and when he loosed his arrow, it hit true, and the prey fell, instantly dead. From that day on, she would appear, the Albino Deer, right by his side and run with him while he hunted.
When they were looking eye to eye, they saw fear and love. When love arises, it shines its light on anything that is unlike it.
It’s all about loving yourself
In the marriage of opposites, in order to love… the “higher” love… we must agree to the beauty of our dark side, our unlovable side.
Love, and agree to be loved ugly.
As soon as we make that leap, we are freed into the infinite expanse. However, when you begin loving yourself, and accepting yourself as you are, your ego and personality will fight you on this point.
Your agenda to get what you want, fulfill your “picture,” creates the experience of chasing the leaf through the water…it just keeps moving away from you.
To see another…really see them (not your picture of what “should” be). It is the most profound experience ordinary people can have.
When you ‘see one’, they are healed and they will bond to you.
The most basic need for human beings is to be witnessed. Scientific studies have found that children who were ignored growing up fare far worse than those who were beaten.
You will have reasons not to trust or love. You will have logic to protect you from pain. You will have an aversion to the ugliness. You will want to run or become paralyzed in fear.
It will be uncomfortable and scary to hang out in the unknown…the expanse. This means you will never touch the Albino Deer.
You cannot agree to the bliss and light of love if you cannot agree to the darkness of pain and fear.
The deal is we must agree to both sides of the pendulum before we get to transcend. So, embrace your dark side, and practice self-love.
This expanse is not a place that many humans get to see. Our brain and heart will scare us away from the edge of that abyss.
Trust and intuition will guide you toward or away from any circumstance that requires a linear determination. Most of the time you will simply spend your time ‘seeing’ yourself and others…really seeing!
Take the chance that getting quiet will create a space for the Albino Deer to come to you and kiss your palm. You will be blessed with finding your greatness, and will genuinely start loving yourself!
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Jane E Fendelman, MC counselor, author, speaker, has a Bachelor of Science Degree in Education 1982 and Master of Counseling Degree 1993. She is an individual, marriage/couples, and child-family expert and is a twice certified Hospice Worker, Grief Counselor, Critical Incidence Debriefing Specialist and an Omni-Denominational Minister.
Jane is the founder of the Fendelman Metanoia Counseling Method for transformation. Metanoia is a total reversal in thinking or a spiritual awakening.