Is my relationship over? Should we break up? Are there any signs a relationship is over?
Breaking up…aah …let’s just admit the word itself is quite disturbing. When your relationship turns sour, it is extremely hard to admit the reality that you need to break up. That’s how saddening and devastating this sounds!
But how will you know when it’s the right time for ending a relationship with the love of your life, the person you thought you couldn’t live without? That’s the most difficult and confusing part of a relationship.
You keep clinging to your partner – no matter what.
It doesn’t matter if you feel left out of the relationship, zero interest from the other end, bad moments, ignorance, hatred, you keep thinking that this is the relationship you are supposed to be in. No! Stop right there! Re-think hard.
To make it easier for you to understand when to break up with your partner or when to end a relationship, let’s highlight some signs of break up:
1. You don’t feel excited
Remember when it all started and you felt you are in the 7th sky? The adrenaline rush got better of you back then!
What about now? No excitement and enjoyment. Even when your partner is around, you don’t feel any thrill in the relationship. It’s because you are simply not happy.
Something inside you is making you drag away from this relationship.
Okay, we all have our share of anger and frustration in a relationship at some point in life. But if it’s consistently happening and seems never-ending, it’s not right.
If you can’t get over petty issues, this is when a relationship is over and it’s time to move on.
2. You are emotionally exhausted
A relationship is supposed to uplift you in a positive way. If you are always feeling full of fatigue, unable to carry yourself, it’s a big sign you should break up.
Your partner might be the reason for this time in your life. He might be emotionally unfit himself.
You are aware of the fact that relationships are a two-way process. If one is giving and other is not responding, that doesn’t make it work.
Get over it as soon as you can to relieve yourself of this emotional torture.
3. Indifferences are high
Suddenly you are unable to see where this relationship is going. The reasons can be many. The foremost reason would be that you both are incompatible. If your life interests and values differ, your relationship won’t last.
Different mindsets of both partners will cause problems between them. Compromise will seem a far-fetched idea.
A relationship is always about sharing common goals. When you don’t have it, breaking up is the right choice.
4. Communication gap widens
At the start of your relationship, you were super excited and involved.
Always kept waiting for that call or message. And it did show up every time, without any disappointment, when every thought and matter used to be discussed in detail; when your partner was quite responsive.
But now, your partner usually does not have enough time for you. You feel lonesome.
Why live your life in dismay when there is no communication going on between you both. Breaking up is the choice in this situation.
5. Constantly fighting
Occasional arguments, disagreements, and conflict are a very common aspect of any romantic relationship.
Conflicts every now and then help us understand how our partner is different from us, which in turn enables us to manage our expectations from each other.
But when you find your self arguing about almost everything, well, that is definitely a major red flag.
As per a study for a relationship to thrive, it should have at least 5 positive interactions for every negative interaction.
So if you find that your every conversation somehow turns into a debate, maybe it is time to think about ending a long term relationship.
6. Lack of intimacy
Intimacy is one of the first things to fade away when you start to grow apart in a relationship.
However, a complete lack of intimacy in a relationship should be questioned. Try taking to your partner and figure out if you both feel the same way and do not feel connected to each other anymore.
If that is indeed the scenario, you must consider this as the time for ‘when to give up on a relationship’.
7. No trust
Trust in a relationship is what binds a couple together; it is also what allows them to feel at peace in their relationships.
Trust can be one of the hardest things to build and the easiest to break. It can take years for a couple to truly trust each other while they can lose that sense of security in a matter of seconds.
So, the question you must ask yourself is, do you still trust each other? If not, well, it is time to look for ways to improve that trust.
However, if you feel like your relationship has reached a point wherein there is not any room left for you to rebuild any lack in trust, then that is a very evident sign your relationship is over.
8. Proliferating jealousy
Jealousy is a very common emotion that people feel in an intimate relationship, and it has been proven that if induced in the right amount, jealousy can do wonders for a relationship.
However, as well know that too much of anything is never good; similarly, if the extent of your’s or your partner’s jealousy crosses a limit, it only becomes toxic for your relationship.
Learn to manage it, and if you can’t, then rather struggling through the rigamarole of assuring your partner over and over again, you should think about breaking up.
9. Friends suggest breaking up
Your intimate friends usually know what you are going through. You confide in your close friends and family, for sure.
But you don’t really give an ear to what people around you are trying to tell you. You chose this partner for you. It can’t go wrong, right? Wrong.
Sometimes, when you are in a toxic relationship, you just can’t see the problems clearly. You are not willing to see them actually. You keep ignoring others’ advice and end up wrecking yourself!
Your close circle of friends will not think badly for you. If you take a little time out and ponder over their suggestions, you will easily know why they ask you to end this relationship.
It’s doing no good to you, and the relationship has no future.
10. You are living in Utopia
The good times seem to have occupied your mind forever. You were so happy and satisfied with this relationship, once. You felt on top of the world then. Everything seemed so perfect.
But you need to realize today things are not the same.
You need to realize that you are living in the past and not present!
It’s going to be tough but not impossible. Wash out the past memories, move on, and get yourself a new life, a new compatible and better partner! You will thank yourself for doing this.
The end of a relationship is never easy no matter the signs your relationship is ending. It is a bitter pill to swallow, so if you think your relationship is at a dead-end then ending it is only merciful.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.