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Relationship Aches

Relationship aches

Relationships often emulate roller-coasters of emotions – soaring sparks of exhilaration and trepidation, punctuated by bliss and heartache.

Commonly, we tend to shy away from conflict in our relationships.  Somewhat impulsively, we secretly fear that even the slightest conflict in our relationship is somehow a warning siren of its looming demise – the cloudy sky just before the hurricane.  But sometimes …

 

Sometimes … relationships simply ache

The colorful narrative of two people becoming a unit often occurs with some growing pains. Growing together entails cultivating collective goals that will become driving forces of the relationship. A very real yet uncomfortable facet of growing together is learning how to manage misunderstandings, pet peeves, boundaries, and unfulfilled expectations. Haphazardly attending to these things often feed the flame of relationship discord.

How do we deal with conflicts?

How we choose to engage in our respective conflict often sets the tone for an outcome of either peaceful resolution or scorching intensification.

Choosing the stance of peace will essentially require us to slow down and respond from a place of patience with our mate. It’s imperative to learn how to build tolerance for difference of both perspective and choice within our relationships. Creating an open space for our mates to express their personal perspectives will require both parties to show validation and understanding about the points of contention. It is advantageous to view our mates as allies instead of adversaries at times of strife.   I know this sounds difficult however with practice and diligent intention the aforementioned approaches will become a natural pattern of how you navigate relationship bumps together.

Interpersonal conflicts can be good

Although conflict feels uncomfortable and mentally taxing, it is not uncommon for conflict to show up within our relationships. Interpersonal conflict is actually a universal aspect of any human relationship. Accepting this will empower us to move through relationship aches as a loving cohesive unit.

Solutions to lessen the pain

My go-to recipe to soothe the sore spirit of relationship aches requires:

  • A heaping spoon of willing dedication
  • Grace
  • Enthusiastic determination
  • Patient consideration
  • A pinch of sweet humility

In closing, please consider the following questions as you engage with your spouse today.

  • How can you act in love although you are disappointed with your mate?
  • What is one thing you can do differently to support peace in your relationship?
  VERIFIED EXPERT
Dr. Tequilla Hill Hales is the owner of Hill Psychotherapeutic Services, LLC, a boutique private practice in Marietta, GA. Dr. Hales has had the pleasure of working with couples and families for over a decade. Her work focuses on emotional wellness and healthy relationships. Her main objective in both personal and professional life is to enhance the quality of life for others. She is an active member of the Georgia Association for Marriage and Family Therapists and works as a therapist, supervisor, educator and advocate. Dr. Hales is a happy newlywed who enjoys travel, arts, cinema, cooking and outdoor activities.

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