In almost every wife’s life comes the day when she wonders how to reconnect with her husband. Marriage is an extremely complex thing, one that inevitably hits many bumps along the way. And, in the midst of all the big and small problems, of everyday routine and unpredicted events, it may happen that you and your husband drift apart.
For some couples, it’s a consequence of everlasting arguments. For others, spouses just lose the touch. But, there are ways to renew your passion and love for one another.
Here are four very simple, but valuable tips on how to reconnect with your husband
1. Talk, not just about the shopping list
In day-to-day errands and stresses, many married couples tend to put their marriage last. It often happens without them even noticing what they’re doing. But, in fact, they’re risking the loss of connection and passion altogether.
By taking your relationship or granted and by letting things slip into inertia, you might be destroying the depth of your marriage.
When people lose intimacy, which inevitably happens when all your conversations are about chores and bills, it might be hard to get it back. But, it’s not impossible. A classic study revealed that disclosure and sharing your inner thoughts and deliberations brings even strangers together. Imagine what it can do to your marriage!
Set aside one night in the next week to spend with your husband talking and – getting to know each other again. It will bring back memories of the excitement you’ve felt when you were first discovering who he is as a person.
Make it fun, and ask questions about his dreams, about what he would be taking with him to a desert island, about his perfect day.
2. Abandon the same old arguments
Married couples don’t just drift apart in a routine, they also come to resent each other in endless and repeated quarrels.
Most dysfunctional relationships are characterized by a pattern of toxic communication.
What happens most is that one of the spouses, mostly women, get into a position in which they demand attention or care, while the other spouse, mostly husband, withdraws and gets passive aggressive or plain belligerent.
As a result of the emotional withdrawal, a wife usually falls directly into a pattern of accusations, neediness, nagging or any such unconstructive exchange. Things can also get heated fast.
Interestingly the more time the couple spends married, the less productive their arguments seem to be. They just keep repeating the same old scene.
To reconnect with your husband, first, make the decision to quit this habit. You’ll need a lot of self-checking, discipline, and perseverance, but you can make it. Instead of perpetual maladaptive fights, use constructive communication and be assertive.
Change your language to be less inflammatory and learn to handle your emotions.
3. Bring back physical displays of affection
Women need touch and physical love as much as men do. All marriages are different when it comes to the amount of sex and other forms of physical love present.
Although there are sexless marriages, the physical affection of any sort should always be a part of your daily interaction with your husband. So, we’re talking all sorts of hugs, kisses, cuddles, petting, gentle or passionate touch, all that jazz.
Therefore, if you feel that you need to reignite the passion in your marriage, you can begin by working on the foundations of your relationship on your deep friendship. Do fun stuff together, talk and go out on dates. No need to rush things. Then, move on to non-sexual touching, and reintroduce holding hands, patting, hugging into your daily life.
After you’ve both started to feel the shy flame of passion growing stronger, move on to more sensual touching – erotic massage, passionate or gentle caressing, passionate kisses, etc.
Finally, after some time of waiting for the real thing, as when you were first dating, dive in and enjoy the restored passion and sexual interest in your marriage!
4. Recognize and accept your differences
This is an important step for every wife who is trying to reconnect with her husband, but vital for those whose marriages are jeopardized by constant disagreements. We all easily slip into the in-it-to-win-it mentality and sometimes spend years in it. And destroy our marriages along the way.
The only healthy way to live and love is to recognize that you and your husband have your differences that might be there forever.
But, to love someone selflessly, you need to accept that fact and support him without reservation. When you demonstrate the willingness to do so, you will immediately feel that you and your husband are growing back closer.