When you try to get the attention of your partner, do all that’s within your power, and even go out of your way to get them to look at you, and all of these end up in futility, it could be that they are giving you some non-verbal cues that you may want to pay close attention to.
Silence is a powerful response. This is one principle that most of the world has upheld for ages. When someone doesn’t reply to your texts and all your efforts at establishing contact with them, the best course of action would be to read the handwriting on the wall.
This would be difficult if we are looking at a partner with whom you have spent a lot of your time.
However, not answering texts (especially over a long time) should give you a serious cause for concern. In any case, if you have been trying to get the attention of someone who seems uninterested in establishing contact with you, this article will help you sort through your emotions.
The “no response is a response” psychology is an important part of everyday communication. It gives you the opportunity to get away from challenging situations unscathed.
For example, when you run into someone who is obviously fishing for you to say something they can use against you somewhere else, this principle can help you get away without implicating yourself.
Here’s a clear case in point. Research shows that most times, the most diplomatic way to get out of a fight is to remain silent. This is more potent if you are in a diplomatic scene where you must choose your words wisely or face extreme consequences.
Under these conditions, no response is a great strategy to keep yourself sane and unscathed by the antics of other people. However, in the context of your relationship with your partner, no response can mean a lot of things.
In fact, it is one of those things that can easily be misinterpreted because when you stay quiet, you give your partner the responsibility of interpreting your silence. They’d do this depending on many factors, including how they feel at the moment.
As far as romantic relationships go, there’s almost nothing worse than when you pour your heart out and get no response from your partner. It can be frustrating.
Is no response a rejection?
Close your eyes and imagine this for a second.
You are scrolling through social media one day and come across the profile of this person you think is really cute. You follow them on Instagram, and after a while, you shoot them a quick DM. hopefully, they’d respond, and that would be the beginning of a great love story.
Only that 1 week has passed, and they’re yet to reply. You check up and discover that they read your messages, only to keep silent and treat you like you don’t exist.
Under these conditions, you can easily choose to do either of 2 things. You can choose to move on with your life and believe that it was not meant to be. Conversely, you may shoot them a quick follow-up message to see what went wrong.
As far as the follow-up text after no response goes, you can have either of 2 reactions as well.
They may reach out and genuinely keep the conversation going. Or, they may treat you as though they didn’t see you. Again.
So, to answer the question, it may be a bit unfair to say that no response is always a rejection – especially if you just shot someone a message on social media.
Research says that an average social media user has to deal with a ton of distractions every day and this could genuinely be the reason why they were unable to reply to your message.
So, when you reach out and get no response at first, just wait a little longer before reaching out again. When you have tried like 2 or 3 times and the other party fails to acknowledge you, you may want to take a break because, under those conditions, no response is a response.
There’s another side to this. When you are trying to get the attention of someone in real-time and they don’t seem to be having it, you may just want to move on with your life quickly.
This is because someone who is within hearing distance should be able to give you their attention if they want to.
Is no response better than a response?
The psychology of not responding to text messages is hinged on the knowledge that if you stay away from talking to someone for long enough, they’d take a cue and give things a rest.
Sometimes, no response is much better than a response. However, there’s no rule to this. If you find it challenging to deal with a blunt “no,” then no response may be much better than a response for you.
This is because when they refuse to reply to you, you can easily make excuses for their behavior in your mind. Then again, instead of being on the receiving end of someone’s vile, don’t you think it is better to get no response instead?
5 things no response can mean
No response can mean many things under different circumstances. Here are 5 possible interpretations of a no response scenario.
1. They are busy
While this could be “one of those lousy responses they give you when they finally deem it necessary to speak to you,” it could be the real reason for which they were unable to respond to you.
This is mostly the case when you are trying to get someone’s attention online and it feels like they aren’t forthcoming.
Under these circumstances, no response could simply be that they are too busy at the moment. It could also be because they may be under a lot of pressure and attending to you may not be convenient for them.
For example, someone who is at work and who has to deal with a horde of impatient customers standing across from them may not be quite responsive if you try to send them a quick IG DM at that time.
So sometimes, it may not be any other thing except the fact that they are genuinely busy.
2. They don’t know what to say
One common way people respond when you throw them off balance is by keeping mum. When you drop a bombshell on someone and they don’t know what to say in response, it may not be so unusual to notice that they’d keep quiet instead.
This could happen over text, in real-time, or even when you are talking to them on the phone. If you are having a face-to-face conversation with them, they may get a blank stare on their faces. If the conversation was going on over text, you may notice that they’d stop responding almost immediately afterward.
3. They’re just not interested
This is mostly the case when you are trying to ask someone out and they have kept you in the “no response” zone. One thing to note is that some people may not be blunt and come out to tell you that you are not just their type.
So, you may find yourself flirting with them, trying to woo them, or simply confessing your feelings and nothing positive will happen.
This lack of interest cuts across the board. It could happen in a romantic and/or platonic friendship, with your family, or even with business partners.
When people think you aren’t compatible with them and they want to lay you off in a nice way, they may try to pull the no-response stunt on you, even after they have clearly seen the reason for which you are reaching out.
This also applies when you are dealing with someone who thinks your relationship with them is over.
Suggested video: How to tell if someone likes you online:
4. They may think the conversation is over
Have you ever dropped your phone after a lengthy conversation, only to come back to a horde of messages from the one you were texting? If this has happened to you, it could simply be because you thought the conversation was over, and you moved on to do something else with your time.
This is another genuine reason why you may be faced with a no-response situation. Although no response is a response, you may want to cut people some slack if this is the reason for which they failed to respond to you.
5. They are processing
Sometimes, people need their space to process the information you lump on them. When people feel overwhelmed during a conversation, they may space out in a bid to process what their brains just picked up.
When someone is thinking about what you said and processing information, they may end up not responding for a while. This doesn’t mean that they are dismissing you. It could just be that they need more time to understand what you have told them.
What to do about a no-response response?
When you are in a no-response situation, here are the steps to take.
Remind yourself that no response is a response (in most cases). This would prepare you for anything that can happen afterward. It will also help strengthen you emotionally and keep you from falling apart if you confirm that the other person was ignoring you on purpose.
One simple way to restart every conversation is to try reaching out again. However, you want to make sure that a reasonable amount of time has passed so that it doesn’t look like you are sitting beside your phone and pining for fragments of the other person’s attention.
If their no-response scenario was for a genuine reason, this would be a great way to restart the conversation.
This works best if you suspect that you have lumped a huge amount of information on the other person, and they’d need some time to process what you have just said. By changing the topic, you take the pressure off them and allow them to think carefully and rationally.
4. Ask for a convenient time
One of the reasons why you may have been dealing with many no-response situations could be because you are trying to talk at inconvenient times. To eliminate this confusion, begin your conversations by asking the other person if they are available for a conversation.
Use simple lines like “is this a good time” or “are you available for a quick chat?” to get the answers you seek.
5. Know when to take a bow
This may not be the best thing you’ve heard today, but when someone constantly stops responding to you, it could be a sign that they aren’t interested in whatever you have to say.
So, take a cue and let them be. It will hurt, but it will preserve your dignity in the long run.
When someone constantly keeps you in their no response zone, you may want to start by finding out why. When you have discovered their reason for that, it is up to you to define your next course of action.
Use the steps we covered in the last section of this article to determine what you should do. Then again, their silence could be their way of telling you that they aren’t interested in whatever you have to say.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.