There is no dearth of married couples who live in long-distance relationships happily.
Research suggests that people living in cross-border marriages experience similar or higher levels of satisfaction and trust when compared with couples who are geographically close. However, not all couples who live in different countries and have cross-border marriages manage to keep the spark going.
So, what can you do you to increase the possibility of making your cross-border marriage work?
Can you make cross-border marriages work?
While making a long-distance marriage requires work, it might seem even more challenging when it comes to partners living in different countries or ended up marrying a foreigner or immigrant. After all, taking an international flight is not the same as flying within the country. Here are signs you may look for to determine if you are cut to go the long-distance marriage way –
- Cross-border marriages are built on trust and effective communication
- There will be a significant improvement in your family’s financial situation
- You are comfortable using digital forms of communication to stay in touch with your spouse
- You look forward to meeting each other in person
- You make solid plans to make sure you meet regularly
Set clear expectations
Determine just what you expect from your green card marriage and your partner going forward, be it two years down or road or five.
Bear in mind that communication is crucial. When discussing the move with your partner, be calm and honest in trying to arrive at a solution that works for both.
This is the time when you need to express any possible concerns. Ask yourself the following questions –
- How often will you communicate and what medium will you use?
- How often will you meet?
- Will the new location or new work hours affect your ability to stay in touch?
- Will any change in financial situation affect you adversely?
- How long might you have you live separately?
- Will there be any change in your social life?
- What if either of you decide that the move is not working?
What you can do to make things work
There is no clear set of rules that couples who live in different countries can turn to in order to make their cross-border marriages work. Here are some tips that can help.
- Use technology to stay in touch – Make use of evolving technology to stay in touch with your partner. This can be through video calls, text messages, and social media platforms. Try to talk to each other at least once each day, even if you have to set a time in advance.
- Communicate effectively – When you live with your spouse, his or her body language gives you a good indication of how he or she is feeling. Besides, you continue to share small bits of information at regular intervals. Since these aspects are missing from typical long-distance relationships, you need to be more communicative in sharing your feelings. You also need to be a good listener.
- Meet as often as possible – Depending on how far you live and how feasible it is for you to meet, it is important that you meet each other as often as possible. This could be once every two months or at least once a year.
- Make the most of your time together – The last thing you need to do when you meet is discus work. Focus on each other and do things you enjoy doing as a couple. Remember that intimacy plays a crucial role in making marriages work.
Trust between partners make cross-border marriages work
There is no reason why you and your spouse cannot make a long-distance marriage work. Trusting each other is an obvious requirement, and you also need to set the right expectations.
Make sure you keep communications channels open at all times. Keep meeting each other as and when time and resources permit.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.