How to Tell Your Partner They Are Overweight

Telling someone you love they need to lose weight may sound funny, even offensive, to people who advocate against body-shaming. But in the end, honesty is the best policy. 

Being overweight is directly related to physical appearance. It may be shallow and superficial, but it is also directly related to overall health.

Overweight problems are not a joke. It may sound cruel and intentional, but a person’s health is a serious matter. 

Some people are sensitive when it comes to how they are perceived because of their weight; they forget that compared to life and death, which one is the more significant issue?

Obesity is a disease. According to the National Institutes of Health, Obesity and overweight together are the second leading cause of preventable death in the US. Approximately 300,000 deaths are attributed to overweight related causes are recorded each year.

Note the keywords in the previous paragraph — overweight, preventable, and death. If someone you love suffers because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, you will regret it. But by then, it might be too late.

This article proposes a healthy perspective on how can you tell someone you love; they need to lose weight. 

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Why encourage your partner to lose weight

If you don’t know how to tell your partner they are overweight, it could mean you are not intimate enough to be honest with each other. It’s also possible you don’t want to hurt their feelings. 

Weight issues aren’t the only problem in your relationship. Telling someone you love that they need to watch their weight is not body-shaming, it is genuinely caring.

Maintaining a proper weight relative to your age and height is directly related to self-esteem, productivity, sexual prowess, and overall health.

This balance is called Body Mass Index or BMI. Looking good is only a side effect of a healthy lifestyle.

If you are afraid of offending your partner, think about the fear of losing them to weight-related diseases and see which one you fear more. Here is a partial list of medical conditions directly related to obesity.

• Heart disease and Stroke
• High Blood Pressure
• Diabetes
• Cancer
• Gallbladder disease and gallstones
• Osteoarthritis
• Gout
• Sleep Apnea
• Asthma

That is a long list of deadly medical conditions. The trend of tobacco smoking is going down and obesity going up, it won’t be long until weight problems become the number one killer of Americans in upcoming years.

Do not let your loved one become a statistic.

So if you’re hesitating, if you can tell someone you love, they need to lose weight. Think of it as saving their lives. It’s not even a white lie; it’s the truth.

Dr. Jennifer Schulz, PhD in Psychology, says,

Keep in mind that telling a partner it’s time to lose weight should never be about body-shaming or expecting them to achieve some unobtainable body standard; it should come from a place of care and concern when their health is truly at risk.

How to tell your partner to lose weight

Here are some examples of how to approach the topic without offending your partner and damaging your relationship.

“Let’s talk about changing our diet.”

Weight problems are directly related to the type and quantity of food/drink intake. If you feel it’s too difficult to discuss your partner’s weight problems, it is possible to discuss the solution directly. 

They will probably be aware of what you are implying, but you can always fall back and say you think that both of you should eat healthier moving forward. 

Start researching healthy options before opening the topic and presenting your case that healthy food doesn’t necessarily mean eating like a goat.

“Let’s learn Samba, or Let’s start jogging in the morning.”

It doesn’t necessarily have to be samba or jogging but suggests a physical activity that you can enjoy as a couple regularly. Change your movie nights into something more physically strenuous. Obesity is also directly linked to a sedentary lifestyle. 

Office workers are particularly prone to this problem. Adding a form of physical activity from 30 minutes to 2 hours into your daily routine can help manage weight problems.

Dr. Schulz adds,

Taking time for physical exercise together can strengthen your bond, and it’s also beneficial for health, above and beyond body weight.

“How do you feel about cooking new dishes?”

This is a variation of a diet change in a more subtle way. By suggesting to look for new and healthier options to eat together, it doesn’t explicitly talk about your partner’s weight problems. 

Developing a habit of eating healthy food at home can influence dietary habits outside. It may or may not work, which would mean you would have to discuss eating healthy as a whole.

If your partner eventually opens up the weight issue, do not be confrontational. Tell them that you are concerned about their health and are willing to accompany them every step of the way in their journey

“I love you.”

Starting any conversation by telling your partner you love them always lifts the mood. Everyone knows that it is a precursor for your partner asking for something, so they would respond right away with them, asking what’s on your mind.

You can go straight to talking about changing your lifestyle together as a family. Say how much you care about them and how concerned you are about their health. Talking about losing weight is the same as changing your lifestyle.

Encouraging your partner on a healthy lifestyle

Losing weight is directly related to a healthy lifestyle. A couple should have similar lifestyles to prevent friction and conflicts in the household. 

Women, by nature, have more body fat than men. Muscle mass also looks better on men than women. That makes it harder for women to lose weight than men. 

But men, especially married men, are less concerned about their health and physical appearance than women. So if you are a sexy and healthy woman and thinking about how to encourage your husband to lose weight, it is going to be a challenge. 

How to tell your partner they are overweight is just as hard as encouraging them to keep to their weight-loss regimen. 

There is no miracle weight reduction pill or treatment. Liposuction aside, the best method is and always has been proper diet and exercise. It is a long hard road to a healthy lifestyle and body.

Doing it together as a couple is the best approach. Even if your BMI is at a healthy level, you still need a proper diet and exercise to maintain it, especially with age. 

Supporting each other as a couple and changing your lifestyle to fit your needs is sustainable if both partners agree to it. It removes temptations in the household and makes weight-loss activities more fun.

So, how do you tell your partner they are overweight? You can avoid the touch topic entirely and move straight to a supportive solution. 

Obesity and overweight is not a joke or political advocacy. It is a clear and present danger. People die from it, lots of people. Follow it up by saying how much you care for your partner and that you don’t want them to get sick. 

Present a weight-loss program that you are willing to support and accompany them in their weight-loss journey. So before you even think about telling your partner they are overweight. Think about not eating Big Macs forever. 

Supporting your partner in their diet means you have to eat more or less the same thing they do to prevent culinary complications and remove temptations. It is about keeping a physically healthy body to extend your life for each other and your children. A sexy body is just a nice side-effect.

Dr. Schulz cautions,

It’s critical for the conversation to center on health and wellness and not turn into body shaming, as this can lead to disordered eating, poor mental health, and also resentment toward one’s spouse. 

Continue exploring this topic

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