A stereotype that leads many to believe that arranged marriages are always without love. They are either forced or are some sort of pact made for growing business and upholding familial prestige.
While all this might be true to some extent, it has also been dramatized to a superficial level. In movies, books, and dramas, the female protagonist is married off against her will in an arranged marriage. Her husband is shown to be uncaring, and her mother in law is just a terrible person in general.
In popular belief (which has also been framed by a lot of fairy tales, books, movies, and dramas), it is practically unthinkable to marry someone you are not already in love with. To many people, marrying someone you haven’t chosen for yourself is completely out of the question.
However, it is not always that bad. A lot of times the real nature and intentions of arranged marriages are masked. To find out more, let’s dig deeper into arranged marriages.
What exactly is an arranged marriage?
An arranged marriage is basically when a third party decides on who you are going to marry. The tradition of arranged marriages has come a long way and is now not practiced as much as it was in the past. However, in many South East Asian countries, the practice of arranged marriages still exist.
Often the person who decides or looks for someone eligible for marriage will be an elder, for example, the parents or someone of similar standing. This is a more traditional way. The other way is to get matchmaker involved. Taking into consideration the technological developments of this century, the matchmaker can be a human or an app.
Why is arranged marriage seen in a negative light?
The reason for this is simple. Deciding to spend our whole life with someone you barely know is quite frightening. To confirm this fear, there have been many instances where arranged marriages have not really worked out. This has happened because, over time, the definition of arranged marriage has been warped. In many societies, arranged marriages are like an ultimatum. The idea has become something along the lines of “you will marry who your parents choose otherwise you will bring disgrace to the whole family.”
Another reason that arranged marriages receives so much criticism is because they disregard an individual’s feelings.
Often parents will consider their children naive and too young to make important decisions. They act under the pretense of they know what is best for their children even though sometimes it may actually be the exact opposite.
They’re not all that bad
Although many people have very biased feelings toward arranged marriages, they are actually not all bad if done right. Many people live happily ever after even in arranged marriages. The key is to choose a proper partner. Sometimes it is not to take your parent’s or your elder’s advice.
Contrary to popular belief, even in arranged marriages, you can get to know your partner beforehand. By no means do you have to say yes blindly.
There is a whole procedure that leads up to courtship. Another stereotype that must be shattered is that you only fall in love before marriage.
This is not true. Even if you have a love marriage, you can still fall in love after marriage. The key to your happily ever after is not in the fact that you married out of love or were part of an arranged marriage. No, the key to a successful and happy marriage is where you decide to take it from there. Regardless of what kind of marriage you have, there are a few key elements that you must always keep in mind; understanding, compromise, communication, and patience. These are the basic rules that will help you get through and make your married life easier!
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