Throughout the years of doing couples counseling, few things have come up in the forefront about the results of an unhappy marriage.
Couples can thrive in a marriage or they may not.
The results of a positive or happy marriage are almost apparent (i.e. togetherness, prosperity, happiness) but what about the results of an unhappy marriage? Have you ever considered what being in an unhappy relationship is doing to you? Probably not. The truth may make you think about getting yourself and your relationship in a better place.
Did you know that the average couple waits approximately six years of enduring marital dissatisfaction before seeking some type of help? The question is, why? Imagine that if the refrigerator in your home was broken, you would not wait that long. You couldn’t. What about your car? If it were broken, could you wait six years to see about having it serviced?
The answer is definitely no. So why, then, do we allow our relationships to be in such disarray, turmoil, or ill-functioning for so long? The most likely answer is because we are not aware of the effects that the relationship is having on us.
Unhappy relationships can make you sick
Have you ever told your spouse “you make me sick?” Did you mean it? Maybe not. But the truth of the matter is that being in an unhealthy relationship is most likely making you sick.
Research by Lois Verbrugge and James House found that being in an unhappy marriage or relationship increases your chances of getting sick by 35% and can shorten your life by an average of four to eight years.
Life already seems short in the grand scheme of things. Certain patterns of communication and interaction in an unhappy marriage can make the partners more susceptible to infectious illnesses such as colds and flu because it weakens the immune system.
Improve marriage by negating your susceptibility to illness
So what do you do? How do you improve your marriage and decrease your susceptibility to illness? The most important thing you can do is ‘Seek help’, and do it quickly.
Don’t wait 6 years when things are much worse than they would be if help was sought earlier. Look for a marriage therapist that fits your personality and understands your needs as a couple. Working on your marriage has been proven to have better results for your health than going to gym.
Seriously! Partners that are happily married tend to have a higher white blood cell counts than partners that are in an unhappy marriage.
Work on your relationship
The goal of marriage counseling or any type of marital intervention should be to reduce the negative behaviors between you and your spouse or significant other. The couple should work on deepening the friendship which will in turn increase many aspects of the relationship.
Improving your relationship is imperative.
Healthy relationships not only is good for your emotional health but also for your physical health as well. Being in an unhappy marriage does affect your health and your lifespan. You deserve to have a long and happy life with the person that you chose to do life with.
So, why not make it the best, happiest, and healthiest life possible?
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by LaShanna Stephens