It’s time—you’re ready to pick up a book or two on marriage. You’ve been thinking about it for a while and you are ready to buy. Now what?If you browse any local book store, do a quick search on Amazon’s book section, or swipe around the ebook area of your tablet, you’ll find numerous books on marriage. There are so many, it can be overwhelming. How do you choose which one is the best for you and your marriage?
It’s really important to pick a book that has your overall marriage fitness in mind. Sure, you could pick a book or two that address very specific issues, but wouldn’t that be missing the bigger picture?
In marriage, there are details, and there is the overall marriage. There will always be details that are up or down. What is important is to focus on how your marriage is doing in a general sense. That’s your marriage fitness. So now you want to find the best marriage fitness book for you and your spouse. A book that addresses the core of why a marriage is or isn’t working and how to best fix it. Because once you can do that, then the details will fix themselves.
Check out our list of best marriage fitness books for couples:
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert
by John Gottman and Nan Silver
People study all kinds of things, but John Gottman studies one main thing—marriages. If you want to achieve a great level of marriage fitness, he can tell you how to do it. He is the director of the Marriage and Family Institute and has studied marriages over the course of many years. The book is a practical guide with questions and principles to help couples have a better overall relationship.
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
by Gary G. Chapman
Men and women are different—anybody can see that. But did you know we each have our own preferred ways of receiving love? That’s why this book is one of the best marriage fitness books for couples. It really gets at the heart of what marriage is all about—love. So cozy up and read all about your love language and your partner’s love language. It’s not uncommon to marry someone whose love language is not something the other spouse isn’t natural at giving. It takes some work to make changes, but the effort is worth it.
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
by Emerson Eggerichs
Maybe you’ve heard that love to a man means respect, and that love to a woman is, well, love. In this marriage fitness book, read about what this author learned over many years of counseling couples who just wanted to feel loved in the way that made them feel most complete. You can’t go wrong with some love and respect in a marriage.
Boundaries in Marriage
by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
Did you ever think that your marriage fitness could depend on boundaries? Because when lines are crossed, the overall marriage is hurt. People need the comfort of boundaries, and basic respect in a marriage is shown by staying within those boundaries. It shows that we care about the other person and pay attention to their needs. The book also covers how boundaries can help the marriage stay safe from things on the outside that shouldn’t come in.
His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage
by Willard F. Harley Jr.
When you get down to marriage fitness basics, what does each person really need? That is what the author of this book tells couples. While we all need the same basic things, in this marriage fitness book, readers find out that husbands and wives place them in a different order. For example, his sexual needs are high on his list, while affection is high on her list. It’s pretty amazing how different men and women are, but as husbands and wives come together and work to improve themselves and also realize what they really need, their marriages have the potential to be truly great.
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
by Susan Johnson
This really is one of the best marriage fitness books for couples. It focuses on Emotionally Focused Therapy, which has already helped a lot of marriages. The basic idea is to form a very strong “attachment bond” and having many healing conversations that can lead there.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.