We can’t choose who we fall in love with. As a result, you may find yourself deeply in love with someone who, for all intents and purposes, is essentially your complete opposite. They do say that opposites attract, but it can be difficult finding the equilibrium you need to maintain a fun and healthy relationship.
Here are a few tips on how you can try and ensure everything goes smoothly:
1. Have your own groups that suit your own temperaments
Try and ensure that, as well as sharing friendship groups, you also have your own groups that suit your own temperaments. If you love going out and drinking, but your partner is more keen on staying in or going to a play, the pressure can make things uncomfortable. If you can both respect each other’s moods, and the fact that you may not always have the same idea of a great time, it will be a lot easier for you to both maintain healthy social lives.
2. Set boundaries
Make sure that you both know where you stand regarding boundaries and what is and isn’t ok. If one of you can’t stand to be away from the other, and the other is keen on some alone time, you’re heading for something of a standoff. If you don’t maintain proper, honest communication throughout your relationship, you’re unlikely to be able to keep things on an even keel for a long time.
3. Don’t assume they need your help to change as a person
Even if you feel your partner is the complete difference in everything you are, don’t expect to be able to change them. People generally loathe to change without a very good reason, and by putting pressure on, you’re distorting the balance of the relationship. Learn to become more tolerant of their foibles, rather than forcing your own personality on them.
4. Bear in mind that you might both have different tolerance levels
Bear in mind that you might both have different tolerance levels for being around groups of people, or strangers. Dragging an introvert along to a big party full of people you barely know is bound to end in tears. It can also be easy to get the wrong message if your partner avoids coming out with you for the sake of avoiding unwelcome social interactions.
5. Communication is essential for any relationship
By sharing both your expectations with each other, you can both ensure that you aren’t set up for any nasty surprises in the future. It’s easy to assume, silently, that your partner wants the same things out of a relationship as you do. However, this can easily go wrong. By talking about the future, you can make sure that neither of you ends up disappointed.
6. Be wary of forcing an introvert into becoming an extrovert
You may think that you’re opening up a whole world of wonderful social interactions. In reality, many introverts are just as easy to talk to as extroverts. They just do it away from groups, when extroverts aren’t in the room.
It’s crucial that you both acknowledge your differences from the start. You can’t simply keep trying to find aspects of yourself in the other person, as evidence that you’re both basically the same. While we may all share certain traits, the vanity of convincing someone else they’re just like you really is not worth it. These are a few tips, but ultimately you’re on your own.
No relationship is easy, at least not after a certain point. But with plenty of honesty and enough communication, you can definitely ensure things go as well as possible.