Nowadays, divorce rates are higher than they have ever been before. What was once shameful and barely realizable is now as common as any other everyday activity. And the motivation behind this comes in all shapes and sizes: from the most bizarre reasons such as “getting bored of one’s partner” or “simply wanting to get married before reaching a certain age and then to simply end it” to more painful and realistic causes such as falling out of love with one’s spouse or simply not being able to live with one another.
Weird reasons aside, there are certain causes that lead to couples opting for divorce that are more common than one could think. While some might appear rather unremarkable, it is the recurring simple things that often cause the most harm to a relationship. Some can be avoided while others simply cannot, yet one thing is certain. There is a solution for each and every problem in life and this also applies to most of these problems.
Money – The dark side of marriage
Splitting over financial issue seems absurd, but it is a mundane yet tricky thing to deal in long term relationships. Deciding on who has to manage what or who holds more responsibility when having to pay common bills is usually an aspect that everybody has to deal with. However, it’s easier said than done. Neglecting this aspect and failing to build up a system for you and your spouse to manage financial problems almost always gives rise to disputes. Even worse, it can become a constant reason to stress over or to disagree with your partner. You might even end up feeling wrongly abused or manipulated by your spouse due to matrimonial financial dealings. And, suddenly, something that initially hadn’t even crossed your mind could end up being the reason for which you no longer want to share any ties with the person you loved the most.
From open discussions with a third party guiding the interaction and offering expert advice to creating your own system, there are many ways to avoid such issues or keep them under control. Having failed to do so from the very beginning is also something that can be corrected. It is never too late to correct the manner of dealing with such things.
He loves me, he loves me not
From all the problems that could arise along the way, dwindling or betrayed love is one of the most common ones. And although each has different consequences, the causes are often intertwined. A third party coming in between you and your spouse is not a rare occurrence, however the manner in which one responds to such a temptation is often influenced by more than a person’s personality or proclivities. While certain individuals might be more prone to walking this path in spite of their partner’s best efforts, there are many other reasons why people accept this as a viable option although they are married. A strong marriage can more easily avoid such predicaments. For that, you and your partner must always nurture and build your relationship. Problems should not be left unattended and strong points should be strengthened along the way as all things are susceptible to degradation over time.
“Be it passion or trust, do not take anything for granted and care for it as if you’re growing a plant.”
As with most things one wants to achieve in life, the ones you share with spouse should be openly discussed and sincerely agreed upon. During the course of so many years, it is understandable that some desires change along the way. You might want a child when you’re 30, but you definitely won’t consider it when you’re 50 or 60. Therefore it is reasonable to expect that some aspects on your “to-do” list might differ a few years from now. However, making sure to share a common path in life with your husband or wife can greatly influence your marriage for the better.
Constant arguing and lack of equality in the relationship
You would think that in this day and age couples would have no difficulty in sharing responsibilities equally. However, old habits die hard and it is often that a woman finds herself undertaking most of the chores that were typically delegated to her sex in the past. The inability to distribute tasks in a balanced manner is one of the main reasons for which couples end up fighting. Of course, reasons for repetitive arguments abound and when this becomes “a way of life” there is no wonder that people decide to go their separate ways.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.