People tend to remain in unhappy marriages for a long time, and if you are one of these people, then you may feel like you can never be happy.
Nonetheless, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and you can find happiness even in the worst of the situation. There are some habits and thoughts you can practice that lead to joy and allow you to work on your marriage so that you can move on as a happy couple.
Long before you get married, you tend to imagine that once to meet your soulmate, the person will fulfill every need. But this is not true; even after you say your vows, you remain the same person with the same baggage of problems and emotional hard-wiring you have before and are not happy in marriage.
Even though you will love your spouse deeply, you will feel alone and unhappy sometimes, and this is normal.
This does not indicate that your marriage is going wrong. There will be times when you will struggle to have a positive relationship. So what to do when your not happy in your marriage?
You have to change your thoughts and habits; “why am I so negative” should be the question you should ask yourself.
So read on to find the answer to how to stop being so negative and how to deal with negative spouse.
Repattern your thoughts to recommit to your marriage
When trying to figure out “am I the problem in my relationship?” you need to ask yourself do you constantly whine, attack, criticize, act as a perfectionist, remain discontent and be a pessimist?
If this is what you bring to your table, then you need to stop being so negative.
To get your answer to how to fix a ruined relationship, read on below.
When you are not happy in your marriage, you should ask yourself, are you naturally negative? Or are you dealing with a negative spouse? Read the signs of negativity below to find out if you or your spouse is negative naturally.
- Are you in a bad mood regularly and dwell on bad things or the painful memory of the past?
- Are you critical of everyone and everything in your life? Do you look at events and incidents from a negative point of view?
- Are you a perfectionist? If someone wishes you “Good Morning,” do you keep on wondering what they mean by it?
- Are you quick to reject something and say “No” and hardly say yes to requests made by your kid or even your partner?
If the answer to the above questions is yes, then you have a negative personality, and this can leave a harmful effect on your relationship. In order to learn how to be happy in your relationship, you must change your attitude.
How to change your attitude in a relationship?
In order to eliminate negativity in your life, you need to change the pattern of negative thinking that comes along with it.
However, it is only you who can make this change, and no one can do it in your place.
Here are some habits that you can do to become a more positive person.
- Eat healthy food products
- Be more accepting of the circumstances around you
- Get a proper amount of sleep
- Practice the art of mindfulness
- Be willing to forgive and forget yourself and your partner both
- Exercise regularly
- Do something that makes you smile every day; keep this to a simple task like listening to your favorite singer, spending some time on a creative hobby, taking a bubble bath, watching a funny video, etc.
- Whenever you feel a negative responsive entering your head, question it, and force yourself to think of something positive.
- Stay connected with the positive souls in your life.
- Practice gratitude. Remember the things you are thankful for.
- Compliment your spouse honestly whenever there is an appropriate opportunity, such as completing a difficult task or work present itself.
- Be open to getting professional help to get rid of your negativity.
Staying in a bad relationship is debilitating
In order to not keep staying in a bad marriage, you need to learn how to repattern your thoughts to recommit to your marriage and save it.
Negative spouses can destroy a good foundation and happy marriage, and like a disease, it spreads from one spouse to another till it makes them incapable of being positive ever again.
To deal with a negative spouse, you need to keep one thing in mind, don’t ever be afraid of saying ‘enough’ and change your subject to something more positive. This is the key to learning how to be happy in a bad marriage and helps bring your marriage back on track.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.