What Is a Tomboy? Meaning, Traits, and Myths

We’ve all seen the label “tomboy” tossed around, but what does it really mean? 

It’s often used to describe someone who doesn’t fit neatly into society’s idea of what a girl should be—but is that all there is to it? 

The truth is, being a tomboy isn’t about rejecting femininity or trying to fit into a mold; it’s about expressing who you are, unapologetically. Whether it’s in your style, interests, or attitude, the tomboy identity is as complex and diverse as the people who embrace it. 

So, let’s explore the real essence of being a tomboy.

What is a tomboy? 

Being a tomboy today means embracing a style, personality, or set of interests that don’t necessarily fit society’s traditional idea of femininity. It’s about being authentic and choosing what feels true to you, whether it’s sports, fashion, or simply rejecting expectations. 

7 common traits of someone who identifies as a tomboy

Tomboy identity isn’t defined by a single look or set of behaviors—it’s a unique expression of individuality that often challenges traditional gender expectations. Many tomboys embrace qualities that go beyond stereotypical ideas of what girls “should” do, reflecting a broader sense of freedom and self-expression. 

If you’ve ever wondered what is a tomboy, here are 7 common traits shared by many who identify as one.

1. Preference for physical activities

Tomboys tend to gravitate toward activities that involve physical movement, such as sports, climbing, or outdoor adventures. They enjoy expressing themselves through action rather than more sedentary hobbies. For them, being active feels natural and empowering, often breaking the stereotype that girls should be more delicate or reserved.

• Example: A tomboy woman might prefer playing soccer with friends over sitting down for tea.

2. Practical fashion choices

Rather than opting for dresses or skirts, tomboys often choose comfortable and practical clothing like jeans, t-shirts, or sneakers. Their fashion choices reflect a focus on function and ease, allowing them to move freely without worrying about conforming to traditional feminine styles

• Example: A tomboy might wear sneakers and cargo pants to a party instead of a fancy dress, prioritizing comfort over fashion norms.

3. Strong independence

Tomboys often embrace their independence and may prefer doing things alone or on their own terms. They are not afraid to break away from group expectations and are comfortable in their own company. This trait reflects their tendency to forge their own path rather than follow what’s expected.

• Example: A tomboy might choose to go on a solo hiking trip, enjoying the freedom to explore at her own pace.

4. Interest in “boyish” hobbies

A hallmark trait of a tomboy is enjoying activities that are often labeled as “boyish,” such as building things, playing video games, or enjoying action-packed movies. These hobbies allow them to engage in hands-on, adventurous pursuits that resonate with their personalities.

• Example: A tomboy might love tinkering with gadgets, fixing things around the house, or playing with cars.

5. Confident self-expression

Tomboys typically express themselves confidently, even if it means challenging gender norms. They don’t feel the need to conform to society’s expectations of what a girl should be, often embracing a mix of traditionally masculine and feminine traits. This confidence can be empowering, as they feel free to be unapologetically themselves.

• Example: A tomboy might speak up in a meeting or take the lead in a group project, not worrying about traditional gender roles.

6. Comfortable with non-traditional gender roles

While many people expect women to embrace traditionally feminine roles, tomboys feel comfortable embracing a broader range of characteristics, including traits seen as masculine. They are often less concerned with conforming to societal expectations about gender, instead embracing a balance between the two.

• Example: A tomboy might excel in leadership roles or enjoy playing the role of protector in her friend group, roles traditionally associated with men.

7. Fluid approach to relationships and attraction

Tomboys might not feel constrained by society’s labels regarding relationships or attraction. While some may identify as straight, others may explore various sexual orientations or relationships outside traditional frameworks. This fluidity further reflects their comfort with rejecting societal norms, as they focus on genuine connections rather than expectations.

• Example: A tomboy might be open to both romantic and platonic connections, depending on the nature of the relationship, without feeling the need to fit into any one category.

Can you be a tomboy and still embrace femininity?

Absolutely—you can be a tomboy and still embrace femininity. Being a tomboy doesn’t mean rejecting everything traditionally considered “girly.” It simply means expressing yourself in ways that feel most like you.

Research Highlight: The study shows that tomboys can be confident in career success through these masculine traits, a tomboy can still be feminine by expressing personal interests, such as enjoying romantic movies.
A tomboy woman might prefer sneakers over heels or sports over shopping, but that doesn’t mean she can’t love a great lipstick or enjoy a romantic movie. Here are some examples that show how tomboy traits and feminine expressions often blend beautifully in everyday life:

• Jamie fixes her own car, hates wearing heels—but has a deep love for skincare routines and floral perfumes.
• Rina lives in hoodies and cargo pants, yet never misses her weekly manicure or a new episode of her favorite romance drama.
• Tasha spends her weekends hiking and mountain biking, but she also enjoys styling her hair and shopping for earrings.
• Nia leads her soccer team with pride, yet she still tears up during heartfelt movies and collects pastel phone cases.
• Lena climbs trees and prefers hanging out with the guys, but she loves painting and always carries a journal filled with soft poetry.

If you’ve ever wondered what is a tomboy, the answer might be wider than you expect. It’s not about choosing one identity over another—it’s about embracing the mix that feels right to you. 

And if you’ve ever asked what is the opposite of a tomboy, maybe the better question is: why do we need opposites at all?

You don’t have to fit into a single mold. You can be both fierce and feminine, bold and beautiful. You’re allowed to be all of it—because all of it is you

Common myths about tomboys and the truth behind it 

Tomboys are often misunderstood—and that leads to a lot of myths about who they are and what they “should” be. From assuming they all hate pink to thinking they’ll eventually “grow out of it,” these beliefs are not just inaccurate—they’re limiting.

Let’s gently bust some of the most common misconceptions of exactly what is a tomboy boy is and explore the truth behind them. Understanding the real tomboy meaning helps us embrace people for who they are—not who we assume they’re supposed to be.

Myth	Truth
Tomboys hate anything feminine.	Tomboys can enjoy activities considered feminine, like makeup or fashion.
A tomboy is just a girl who likes sports.	Being a tomboy is about behavior and expression, not just athleticism.
All tomboys reject traditionally "girly" things.	Many tomboys enjoy activities like cooking or fashion in their own way.
Tomboys want to be boys.	Tomboys embrace their womanhood, just choose to express it differently.
You can’t be a tomboy if you wear dresses.	Some tomboys wear dresses; it’s about self-expression, not restriction.
Tomboys are all “rough” or “tough.”	A tomboy can be sensitive, gentle, and strong in various ways.
Tomboys don’t care about their appearance.	Many tomboys care about how they look, just in their unique style.
All tomboys are “rebellious” or “nonconformist.”	Being a tomboy isn’t about defiance; it’s about personal comfort and identity.
Tomboys don’t like makeup.	Some tomboys enjoy makeup; it’s not about rejecting beauty standards but choosing their own.
Tomboys are all sporty.	Not all tomboys are into sports; some might prefer reading, music, or other hobbies.
Being a tomboy means you must act like a boy.	Tomboy meaning is about feeling free to express yourself, not acting like a boy.

How do tomboys show up in love?

Tomboys show up in love with authenticity, confidence, and a desire for genuine connection. Their approach to love is often unfiltered and real, as they don’t feel the pressure to conform to traditional expectations of femininity or romance. Here’s how tomboys typically express themselves in relationships:

1. Honest and direct

Tomboys tend to be straightforward when it comes to their feelings. They’re not afraid to express what’s on their mind, which helps create open communication in the relationship. They value transparency and honesty, making sure both partners understand each other clearly.

2. Embracing individuality

Tomboys love their independence and often prioritize maintaining their sense of self. In love, this means they seek partners who respect their need for personal space and individuality. At the same time, they are fully present in the relationship, offering loyalty and deep emotional support.

Watch this TED Talk by Dr. Andrea Pennington, an American medical journalist, as she shares powerful principles of self-love and offers guidance on healing from trauma and embracing one’s authentic self.

3. Practical expressions of affection

Instead of traditional, sometimes overly romantic gestures, tomboys often show their love through actions. They may surprise their partner with something meaningful, like planning a fun adventure together, fixing something for them, or simply spending quality time doing things they both enjoy.

4. Equality in partnership 

Tomboys value a balanced relationship, where both partners contribute equally and support each other’s growth. They don’t want to be treated as “fragile” or “dainty” but rather as equals who can collaborate and build a strong bond based on mutual respect.

5. Playful and fun-loving

Tomboys often bring a sense of adventure and fun into their romantic relationships. Whether it’s through shared hobbies like sports, games, or simply being spontaneous, they love to enjoy life and have fun with their partner.

FAQS

Here are some common questions people have about tomboys and their unique way of navigating life and relationships. Whether you’re curious about what being a tomboy really means or how it affects their interests and romantic connections, these answers provide simple, clear insights.

• Do tomboys act like boys all the time?

No, being a tomboy is about embracing individuality. Tomboys can express themselves however they feel comfortable, whether that’s through traditionally masculine or feminine activities.

• What is a tomboy’s partner like?

Tomboys usually look for partners who respect their independence, value authenticity, and appreciate them for who they are.

• Does being a tomboy affect relationships?

Not necessarily. Tomboys can have meaningful relationships based on respect and understanding, just like anyone else.

Concluding thoughts

Being a tomboy is about challenging traditional gender expectations and expressing oneself freely. It’s not just a label but a reflection of personal style, interests, and how one approaches relationships. Tomboys bring authenticity, confidence, and a unique outlook on life and love. 

In the end, it’s crucial to recognize that everyone deserves to be celebrated for who they are. Whether you’re a tomboy or simply curious about the identity, understanding and respecting diverse ways of self-expression enriches our connections with one another.