10 Personal Boundaries You Need in Your Relationship

We all have boundaries. 

Look around yourself, you would see them everywhere. While on road you’re entitled to drive on a certain side of the road. If you move to the other side, you will end up crashing your car with someone else’s.

Likewise, your house has boundaries, a wall that separates your neighbor’s property from yours.

We all have personal boundaries; a boundary that defines who we are. It protects us from others. It’s our personal space which we enjoy the most. Mostly, we enjoy personal boundaries in home where we are sure that no one can just barge in and start living with us.

If you don’t have a personal boundaries then the world will take you for granted. You must set a certain personal boundary while in relationship as well.

Expectations

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One of the major reasons why relationships fail is we don’t convey our expectations to our partner. He/she has the right to know what we expect out of them.

If you’re entering a relationship with no expectation then you’re being untrue to yourself.

We all humans and we are bound to expect things from others. Once you’re partner is clear of expectations, things will be easy for you. So, set up an expectations boundary and stay happy.

True-self

How often you’re honest to yourself. Not mostly, right?

When you’re getting ready for a relationship or are dating someone, just don’t overdo thing. There are chances that you might get over involved with the person and then eventually will get hurt since they’re not as involved as you are.

Avoid giving extra attention or importance to the other person, especially when you know that they’re not so concerned about it.

Tolerance

We all have a various level of emotional and physical threshold.

The problem comes in a relationship when we don’t discuss that with our partner. It’s not wrong to have a tolerance level, it’s wrong to not let others know about it. If they’re not aware they would surely barge into your personal boundaries and things will blow out of proportion.

Your partner surely doesn’t want to hurt you or put you in an awkward position. So, let them know about your tolerance level.

Codependency

Co-dependency is bad. It cripples you in a way.

The moment you’re codependent on your partner, more than needed, you can’t do anything without them, or vise-versa. It’s okay to be a bit dependent on your partner, emotionally and otherwise, but don’t cross the boundary and be extra dependent.

By doing so you would unknowingly enter their personal space and things might not end up on a positive note.

Sexual expression

You may not be sexually active but your partner might be.

They may like morning sex but you’re not so fond of it. If you’re not setting up your personal boundaries, you are letting them walk into your personal space without any hesitation.

So, speak to them. Set off the boundary and let them know about it. It will help you have a healthy relationship.

Money

Money can ruin any good relationship between any couple.

Until few years back, couples used to maintain a joint bank account. However, over the past couple of years, they’re comfortable maintaining separate bank accounts. This way, they’re easily able to keep money away from their relationship and are able to maintain a healthy and strong relationship.

Social life

You are married or in a relationship but yet you can have your social life. You have your friends from work and your best friends with whom you like to hang out every now and then.

Your social life is your boundary and it’s better if you can keep it away from your relationship.

Despite being in a relationship you’re entitled to meet your friends and go out with them to your favorite place. It’s better to keep your partner informed about this space so that they just don’t invade your space.

Conflicts

People do stupid things when they’re angry. This happens with everyone. However, one thing to keep in mind that you’re not supposed to cross someone’s personal boundaries in the name of anger.

The conflict or fight may be about anything, but you’re supposed to maintain the distance from someone’s personal boundaries and act sensibly.

Past life

Everyone has a history. It’s their integral part.

You’re not supposed to investigate it on your own and try to know about your partner’s history or past life. They will share with you whenever they’re comfortable. Till then, just enjoy the present with them.

Digital presence

Today, it’s easy to befriend partner’s friends on various digital platforms. So, it’s important that you discuss about their access to your digital presence.

By not setting up a digital presence boundary, you might invite trouble in your personal life. After all, relationship may not last but digital footprint surely does.

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When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

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Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

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