You are involved in a relationship or marriage. Therefore, you are acceptable to each other. In the day to day realities of the real world there are many things that can take a toll on your relationship once the newness wears off: bills, job, school, family, faith, relationships, kids, and businesses. The emotional connection that you both share which made you smile in the middle of the day is interrupted a little too often and there is no time for a getaway. Frustration can set in quickly. The flirting looks and sexy words are gone. “Grow up, nobody is nice and fun all the time”. Wrong. In a study conducted by Marriage.com, three women whom had been married for over 20 years each,shared their secrets on how to stay emotionally connected to your man.
Some real-time cases
Janelle (beautician) is married to Ronnie (an auto mechanic) for 23 years. “My man likes consistency and to be honest I do too. After working all day, dealing with demands from nice and not so nice customers and sometimes an angry ex-wife, Ronnie can count on me not being a bomb shell or being emotionally down at the end of a long day. Even though we have problems from time to time, I make sure I remind myself to be a person I would want to be around every day. He doesn’t want to get hit with a tricky attention seeking, over emotional or complaining woman when he least feels likes it.”
“Yes, we talk about everything, but we have an unspoken subliminal loo that helps us get ready for the tough talks. We plan those talks. We guard our relationship’s emotional stability. I offer him an even temperament that ensures him that he can look forward to sharing his days with me. He can look forward to celebrating with me and having a good time. Of course,I’m not predictable all the time but the temperament of our relationship is consistent. That helps a lot. It makes it easy to connect emotionally. As time goes on, it gets easier.”
Shelia (a lawyer) married to Stanly(a professor at a university) for 25 years.“To stay emotionally connected to Stanly, I make him feel good about himself. Even when he fails, I encourage him. He never tires of sincere compliments. Who doesn’t? He especially likes it when I second his emotions with, that’s right. I never criticize him on his face. I work that frustration off with my secret girlfriends, Hey, that’s what they are for, right? I feel that the best emotional connection a couple can have is when they are in agreement.”
Yvonne (day care worker) married to Paul (a sales man) for 21 years. I find my man interesting, always have, from the first time I met him. When he talks, I do not interrupt him. He said he liked that about me right from the start. He says when a woman interrupts a man, he feels she is not interested in what he has to say.
Well, I’ve learned a lot from Paul. I hate sports, especially football and basketball. But because I know he love sports, I go to a game with him every once in a while. As I watch, he explains the game and before you know it, I actually know what is going on. Once, I found myself cheering for a touchdown but Paul quickly reminded me that was not our team. But he said was glad I knew what a touchdown was.
Sports is still not my thing. It doesn’t matter, Paul loves talking about the scores and likes it when I know what he’s talking about. I feel that the person you’re with should share an interest in the things you are passionate about. It connects you emotionally and creates a lot of good memories that will get you through the good and the bad times.”
Patience is the key
In conclusion, all respondents agreed that it is not easy to stay connected emotionally to your man but it gets easier with practice and time. Plus the benefits are worth it. It all boils down to acceptance and validation.The women stay connected with their men by being agreeable, consistent in temperament, and encouraging.
They all seem to have great memories of their spouses to fall back on whenever they go along with something just for the sake of harmony in the relationship or just to please their man. None of the women felt the work they put into their relationship was unfair because of what they got in return, a lasting love.