A generation ago, it was common to go from your parents’ house to a dorm and then straight to living with your husband.
In the 1970s, women got married around twenty years old. Now it is much more common to pursue an education and career during your twenties and then find your spouse in thirties. If you are approaching your thirties, you may find yourself longing to find your soulmate.
The desire for marriage can be consuming at times.
This is particularly true if many of your friends married in their twenties. Then those same friends start having children, leaving little legacies, even before you have yet to meet your spouse. Even so, marrying in your thirties may actually have its advantages.
According to Psychology Today, the divorce rate is actually lower for someone who marries over the age of twenty-five.
Of course, there can be drawbacks to marrying in your thirties, particularly if you want to have children and the biological clock seems to be ticking a bit faster. But there are some incredible benefits for those who marry in their third decade.
You know yourself
When you get married a little later in your adult life, you have time to get to know yourself more thoroughly. You will likely have roommates in your twenties who can give you healthy feedback on what it is like to live with you day in and day out.
You have the opportunity to travel, explore hobbies, live in a different city, or make a sudden career change. All of these situations will give you a deeper insight into what you love, what you hate, and how you respond to different experiences.
If you have done the work it takes to know yourself, you will be much more emotionally intelligent over time.
You will be aware of how you feel about things, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, and how you react to other peoples’ emotions and actions. After living with roommates, you might even know some of the pitfalls of co-habiting.
Bu the real benefit is the emotional maturity gained from understanding your own motivations and how you see the world.
You have lived
As a single adult, your twenties tend to be focused on education, career building, and adventure. You have had the chance to study topics you care about and then to invest your skills and talents into a field you chose to pursue.
Without the responsibilities of a spouse and children, you can decide to put your money towards what you choose.
If you want to get some friends together and go on a cruise, you can. If you want to live abroad, you likely can make it happen. If you want to move and explore living somewhere new, you can make that decision a little simpler and jump into a new chapter.
Friends who married very young and also had children very young will comment on your travels around the world. They will likely be a bit envious of the years you explored new cities, interesting places, or lived in Manhattan next to Central Park with roommates.
Of course, these friends love their spouses and children deeply, but they live vicariously through all the adventure you are packing into your single years.
You are ready
At twenty-five, going out with a whole crew of friends until all hours of the night is a blast. By the time you are in your thirties, the idea of spending some quieter evenings with the one you love is quite appealing.
Marriage requires sacrifice and compromise.
You cannot just take a job across the country without discussing how it affects your spouse. Add children to your family and the sacrifices will inevitably grow.
At 22 years old, these sacrifices could feel like a heavy burden and cause feelings of missing out. No doubt these compromises and sacrifices can feel challenging in your thirties too. But, after pursuing your dreams for a decade or so, you will likely feel ready for what is required of you to make a marriage work.
Prolonged singleness can feel lonely
It is true that prolonged singleness can feel lonely at times. But, marrying in your thirties is actually quite awesome. In fact, It is worth the wait.
If you get married in your thirties, you are likely thinking kids sooner than later. I promise that you can still keep the romance in your marriage after having a baby.