Back in the day, one couldn’t see older women dating a younger man as much. But nowadays, there seems to be an epidemics of cougars out there.
On discussing, some offer biological solutions, some psycho-sociological. In any case, the fact is that the taboo surrounding such matches isn’t as strong as it used to be. Moreover, many older women also marry their younger partners. And here’s the 101 of older women dating a younger man.
One size doesn’t fit all
The most important thing to take from this article is this – there isn’t really a universally right or universally wrong combination of partners. Moreover, from an anthropological standpoint, things seem to keep changing all the time together with socio-political changes.
And that is within one society over time. When you take what’s a norm in different cultures, you realize that there isn’t, really, any such thing as “normal”.
These anthropological findings indicate that most of the norms are based on what the given society might consider desirable, be it from a biological or sociological standpoint. Mostly, when it comes to dating, it is a matter of procreation.
But, in modern times and modern societies, since we don’t really need to make our lives and our societies revolve around that, other trends emerge and thrive.
These do include so-called cougars, as well as same-sex couples, or other instances in which creating offspring isn’t really a priority.
The stereotype of a young, frail but fertile gal and a strong, wealthy older man is a product of biology.
But, it is also maintained by the society, as society prefers well-known, firm, and, most importantly – predictable structures and norms.
The bare fact of dating is that, in the end, it does have the purpose of producing offspring. This is from a biological standpoint. But, humans are far more complex than that, and many other factors come to play.
As our society advances, so does the life span and, importantly, the quality of life in older years. Therefore, for women, menopause doesn’t necessarily mean the end of dating life any more.
In fact, this is a recent trend that has been more and more prominent in Western cultures. As children are set on their own paths, statistics reveal, the more and more women ask for a divorce from their spouses.
In the UK, only between 2015 and 2016, the percentage of women over 55 asking for a divorce jumped by 15%, which is a very large increase.
Why older women seek younger men
As women’s financial and sociological independence rises, so does, apparently, their freedom to pick partners based not on the traditional values of him being able to take care of her. Women are still attracted to successful men, but this isn’t necessarily translated into the cliché of young women seeking older men anymore.
Instead, many women who reach a certain age revolt against the prescribed way of aging.
They don’t want their sex lives to end with their ovaries not producing eggs anymore. They also often don’t find their partners of many decades pleasing anymore.
Or, they never married but pursued their professional and academic aspirations instead.
Now, as they got where they wanted to be as individuals, they want a partner to fulfill their needs. They don’t want to settle.
They also are more confident and more aware of their needs and desire than younger women.
As such, these new women don’t necessarily find a man of their age attractive or invigorating enough. Similar to men, women might also find the beauty and the passion of a young lover enthralling.
Where does the magic come from
Apart from what we already mentioned, a match between an older woman and a younger man isn’t satisfying for the woman only, of course.
Both partners get something out of it. In general, it might be that the variety between them is the source of the excitement and the perpetual interest.
Men and women have different needs at different stages of their lives. Men, in general, seem to be more open to different experiences, and less oriented towards fulfilling their biological purpose of bearing a child. Women usually have this need embedded deeper into their overall behavior.
But, as a woman overcomes this, in one way or the other, she, as well as her younger partner, come to enjoy the excitement of different worlds with much less pressure and expectations.
Which often transforms into the most gratifying relationship, one in which two people spend time together as independent individuals, genuinely enjoying each other’s company, and for that reason alone.