Split between a couple has always been a sensitive issue. It is never easy to go through the painful process of separation and later divorce. At times, it’s not just two people into consideration, rather a family.
No matter how ugly your relationship has been with your ex-spouse, things don’t end at divorce.
Post-divorce, certain marital issues remain unsettled even after the ink has dried on the decree. Some very complicated bilateral issues cannot be resolved easily. One of them is deciding on the custodian of children.
If you are having a narcissistic and toxic person as a co-parent, realize, the burden of healthy parenting lies on your shoulders.
Let’s lift the curtain on some possibilities of co-parenting with a toxic ex-spouse
Save your children from being sandwiched between you both
Better be aware, the toxic ex would play all emotional games to keep you entrenched in the relationship even after a brutal breakup. They would try to entice you to take all the blame, and they can exploit children for this purpose.
Don’t pay any heed to their wicked tricks, and try to save your children from getting used against you.
Set a boundary of respect for you and your co-parent which is not to be violated by any of two.
Make children accept the bitter reality with sheer empathy
Children who are equally dependent on both their parents are not likely to accept the family breaking apart. They are the ones who never have a say in such an important matter, though they are most likely to get affected by this decision.
Divorcing parents need to convince their children that they will remain a family even after this crucial move. Parents ought to put children’s minds at rest. They need to reassure the kids of their lasting family bond.
Neither escalate nor let the legal boundary be escalated
Try not to overpower your legal rights with regard to children. Never let the other co-parent snatch your share, simultaneously.
You need to acknowledge your rights. Don’t let things be dominated by the toxic co-parent. You ought to practice your influence on the kids, you ought to give them decent values, and you have every right to it.
Never compromise on retaining your rights.
Set boundaries around the school, home, and society
The kids need to be familiar with all the zones of life from the very beginning. They need to be taught how to behave in a certain environment.
You need to keep them away from the dictation of a toxic parent. Create awareness in them regarding all sectors of life from personal to professional to social all spheres of life need to be disciplined and diligently carried out.
Cultivate self-dependence in them since a young age
Teach them to be independent when they are in an initial phase of life. This will be the biggest advantage to them in the long run. How?
Sooner or later, they will discover the plights of life including the presence of a toxic parent. Until then, they would be able to stand on their own two feet. They wouldn’t be seeking support to cope with the shortcomings. They would definitely learn to advance by themselves if taught to live on their own hump.
Satisfy their financial needs
It would be an understatement to say, their financial requirements should be fulfilled. In fact, you need to see to their expenses very compassionately. You need to be very keen on it.
Children who are deprived of certain benefits in life develop a low-esteem.
Children often compare themselves, and they want to have everything better vis-a-vis other children. You oughtn’t to spend miserly on them. A parent should try to compensate them with all they want.
On a side note, You need to carefully study every wish of theirs before fulfilling.
No child deserves to grow with an intimidating adult. The best thing could be, if your ex is a toxic parent and you’re aware of it, put all your heart and soul into winning the custody of your kids. Nothing could be safer than that, on a wiser note.