Teaching Your Kids the Four-Letters of Love

Every child needs to know how to love, who to love, and when to love. ‘Love’ this four-letter word can be very complex and difficult for some to grasp. It’s not unusual for us to desire to be loved and it’s definitely not unusual for us to give it. 

Some may think that their child shouldn’t learn about love until they are teenagers, but the truth is that all children should know how to love. Today there are so many hands-on activities to teach children about love.

However, before teaching your kids about love and romance you yourself must first understand what love truly is. With the word love comes confusion sometimes. 

Everyone has differing opinions and ideas about the true definition of love. So, what really is love, what are the ways to teach your kids about love without saying a word, and what are the activities that teach children about love?

The definition of love

There is no one simple answer that will answer this question. It has been defined in several ways but the one definition that explains it the best says that “Love is a complex set of emotions, behaviors, and beliefs associated with strong feelings of affection, protectiveness, warmth, and respect for another person.”

Some believe that you can’t help who you love, and others believe you can. Love is not lust. When you love someone, you love them not only for everything they are but also for everything that they aren’t. You’re willing to accept their flaws. 

You have a strong desire to please them and build a bond that can never be broken. There are many different types of love. There is the love that husband and wife share and there is the love that a child shares with their parents and other loved ones. 

The latter is the kind of love that you should be teaching your child. Teach them not only how to love but who to love and when it is an appropriate time.

1. How to love

Teach your child how to love by setting a good example. As parents, your child should see the two of you showing each other love. Respecting one another, holding hands, spending time together as a family are all the ways you can display this love. 

Never be afraid to let your child see how much you truly love one another. This is not only beneficial to your child, but it can keep your marriage strong. It always helps to know that your love for one another is still there and you have to actively be doing things to keep that flame from going out. 

A child needs to hear his parents giving one another compliments, commending one another on a job well done, and even doing nice things for one another such as opening the door. 

Trust me when I say your child will benefit greatly from the examples you set. They need this type of guidance because we live in a world full of selfish people who don’t really know how to love.

2. Who to love

You may be thinking that you can’t possibly teach your child who to love but this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Not everything or everyone will be worthy of your child’s love and it’s up to you to help them to appreciate this fact. Love can sometimes feel uncontrollable but it’s not. 

The same way you teach them to hate bad things should be the same way you teach them to love the good things and people in their life. For example, fire can be dangerous and bad. You probably have taught them this from day one. 

They likely know not to play with fire or even let the thought cross their mind. It’s okay to teach your child to choose who they give their love to. You wouldn’t want them to love a child predator or someone who is going to harm them. 

You should never teach your child to hate another human being but that’s besides the point. The point is that your child should know how to return love to those who love them.

3. When to love

Love is important but may not be appropriate for every situation. From the day they are born, your child should be taught how to love their parents, siblings, and grandparents. The type of love that they have for others changes as they get older. 

You should teach your child the different types of love and explain to them when each one is appropriate. As they grow older you should teach your child about intimate love that they should have for their mate when they decide that they are ready for marriage. 

Love can change and this is something they should be taught. Your child should know that there are certain types of love that is appropriate for different situations and at different times.

4. Final takeaway

Teach your child to be careful who they give their love to because not everyone means them well. Love is something that everyone needs, and everyone should also know how to give it. Your child will thank you for teaching them one of the greatest four-letter words there is.

Continue exploring this topic

Talk to our Marriage.com AI Relationship Coach

Chat with me, ask questions and get help

Start Chatting

Marriage.com AI: Your Relationship Guide

Talk through what's on your mind.

Automated

Hi, I'm your relationship guide. What's on your mind?

YOU COULD START WITH

How to teach kids about love?

What is the complexity of teaching love?

AI guidance only - not therapy. In crisis? Call a helpline or Find a Therapist

Terms

Brittanie Burks

Brittanie is a children’s book author, homeschool teacher of 7 years, blogger, and entrepreneur. She loves to write and bake cakes. When shes not doing one of these she is spending time with her loving family. Here is her website: https://piecesofthepuzzles.com.

Marriage.com Assessment

How Healthy Are Your Family Dynamics Quiz

Reviewed byJennifer Schulz, LCSW

Family dynamics are at the heart of how we experience love, safety, and belonging. They shape the way we communicate, handle stress, and connect with one another. Often, we don’t fully notice these patterns until tension or distance starts to a...

Questions: 20 | Last updated: Jan 19, 2026

Sample Question

When a disagreement happens in your family, what’s most likely to follow?

We tend to argue or avoid each other for a while

Things feel tense, but eventually we move on without talking it through

Someone tries to lighten the mood or shift focus to happier things.

Older family members step in to mediate or share advice

Take the Quiz Now